The Ravens' season debut is exciting enough that this popcorn goblin has made his way into the stands.
At the request of the Ravens, we're also busting out the big board for the first time. I bought a copy of the new Blood Bowl, because I wanted some of the miniatures and a second board; I'm really not sold on the rules, so I think for the moment we're sticking with the CRP. But here it is anyway! Since my team isn't playing, I'm giving the bastards the astrogranite side.
Both teams have played one game in the Turboleague, but the Ravens' earnings have been dismal and their team value is 60,000gp lower than the Griffons'. Therefore, the Ravens will be supported by a Bloodweiser Babe in this game. The Griffons are missing line-elf #9 Ammozalri the Patient, mysteriously stabbed by league scoring leaders unknown in their game against the Saints; he will be temporarily replaced by journeyelf Hank the Flamboyant.
**
As the teams lined up on the gridiron, the weather was unseasonally pleasant and the Griffons fans outnumbered the Ravens' notoriously frenzied supporters. The home team won the coin toss and elected to defer, so the Griffons went on the offensive. Prior to the kickoff, a memorial dirge was played.
The kickoff result was Brilliant Coaching, netting both teams an extra re-roll. The Griffons secured the ball, but a blocking attempt by Griffons journeyelf Hank the Flamboyant on Ravens lineman Per Yngve Ohlin went badly wrong and led to a quick turnover.
The Ravens mounted an aggressive defence, culminating in lineman #9 Tomas Haugen sacking Griffons thrower #3 Ferreha the Particular and knocking the ball loose. Ravens runner #5 Leifur Eriksson grabbed the ball, but as lineman #8 Reidar Horghagen ran to cover him, he fell over!
The Griffons capitalized, sending line-elf #16 Thakevi the Impetuous to sack Eriksson, which he did so impetuously that the Norseman was knocked out and relegated to the tender care of the Ravens Bloodweiser babe.
Meanwhile, Griffons thrower Ferreha the Particular recovered the loose ball and passed it upfield to Griffons blitzer #1 Bel-Zothius the Beast.
It ended badly for him.
Nonetheless, the ball was deep in Ravens territory. While the players brawled for possession, Ravens lineman Tomas Haugen scored his team's first casualty of the season by sending Griffons journeyelf Hank the Flamboyant off the field with an injury.
The fight for the ball ended in favor of the Ravens, and thrower Thor Åkenskaldi attempted a pass up the Ravens left, to blitzer #2 Harald Hårdare. The pass, however, failed, and the ball ended up next to the scrum of players on the line of scrimmage.
Griffons line-elf #10 Shirduzus the Discrete grabbed the ball and quickly passed it up the field to blitzer Bel-Zothius the Beast for his second career touchdown, putting the Griffons up 1-0.
On the subsequent kickoff, the electrified Griffons surged forward in a surprise blitz, knocking down a Ravens player. However, this proved costly as Griffons lineman #14 Tarec the Artist was pushed into the crowd! This was Tarec's second crowdsurf in two games, and remarkably, he's escaped both of them unharmed.
The Ravens grabbed the ball and thrower Åkenskaldi made a forward pass to lineman #11 Sven Atle Kopperud, who led the charge toward the Griffons end zone.
The Titans sacked Kopperud, knocking the ball loose, but the Ravens weren't giving up: on their last turn, lineman Haugen gave his all to make the end zone, falling down just short of his goal.
And so the first half ended with the Griffons leading 1-0 and down an elf, facing a RagnaRock possession to start the second half.
**
Eventful kickoffs continued into the second half as the Ravens started their possession with a quick snap. However, thrower Åkenskaldi failed to secure the ball, and the way was left clear for Griffons blitzer Bel-Zothius to charge in and grab the ball!
The Ravens quickly responded, and werewolf #4 Freki sacked the Griffons blitzer - and to everyone's horror, ended up holding the ball!
Ravens head coach A.A.A. Sjöfarare decided it was time for the Norse team to unleash their offensive specialty: the dreaded box-play.
The entire Ravens team vacated the center field and formed a tight cage around the confused werewolf. As their fans went berserk and chanted "box, box, box", the RagnaRock cage rolled inexorelably down the astrogranite field.
As the Ravens cage neared the end zone, they unleashed a spectacular attack on the bewildered Griffons, culminating in a pair of triple chain pushes -- almost certainly a league record. This bizarre formation is, unfortunately, known in the RagnaRock playbook as the Train of Flesh.
Eventually, the Ravens smashed through the exhausted and no doubt extremely confused high elf defence, and werewolf Freki scored his team's first touchdown of the season to even the score at 1-1.
As the teams lined up for the kickoff, someone from the stands threw a rock at Ravens lineman Kopperud, breaking his jaw!
When Griffons blitzer #2 Ghoryanus the Mighty went on to knock out Ravens lineman Ohlin, suddenly the numbers advantage had swung the Griffons' way. Griffon Gate's MVP from the previous game, line-elf #11 Shudris the Sage, retrieved the ball and passed it to his thrower for a completion. Emboldened by the gap in the Ravens line, the Griffons sent a line-elf toward their end zone and set up for another long pass.
The Ravens were quick to cover the potential receiver and get in thrower Ferreha the Particular's face.
With all this Norse interference, the Griffons thought better of the forward pass, and Ferreha the Particular returned a lateral to Shudris the Sage for his fourth completion of the season, tying Saints runner Jenassa Samarys for the league lead. This nearly proved costly for Griffon Gate as Ravens werewolf Geri came charging down at Shudris, but both players were knocked down on the play.
And that was how the game ended: an elf and a dog, both fallen over, the score 1-1.
**
MVP honors in the Hank von Helvete Memorial tournament went to Griffons thrower Ferreha and, delightfully, Ravens blitzer #1 Hans von Helvete. On the strength of their single inflicted casualty, the RagnaRock Ravens have won the tournament.
This was an entirely delighful game to spectate and report on! From the wide open play of the first half to the Ravens' parade-ground cage in the second, all aspects of Blood Bowl were on great display here. My sincere thanks to both coaches, and soon we'll have more!
**
League table [pts, goal differential, casualty differential, fatalities, completions, interceptions]
Sheogorad Saints (Dark Elf) (2-0-2) 12 pts, 6-4, 1-6, 0, 5, 1
Griffon Gate Griffons (High Elf) (0-0-2) 4 pts, 3-3, 0-1, 0, 6, 0
Reid Death (Human) (0-0-1) 2 pts, 1-1, 3-0, 1, 1, 0
RagnaRock Ravens (Norse) (0-0-1) 2 pts, 1-1, 1-0, 0, 1, 0
Lake Bodom Carmelites (Human) (0-1-0) 1 pts, 1-2, 2-1, 0, 2, 0
Vindaaagh Pulling (Orc) (0-1-0) 1 pts, 0-1, 1-0, 0, 1, 0
Touchdowns:
Barenziah Targaryen (Saints) 2
Bel-Zothius the Beast (Griffons) 2
Raven Dren (Saints) 2
Freki (Ravens) 1
Harry E Mitchell (Death) 1
Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1
Jenassa Samarys (Saints) 1
Sister Wilamina Ironbludgeon (Carmelites) 1
Tarec the Artist (Griffons) 1
Casualties:
Barenziah Targaryen (Saints) 1
Ed Ranger (Death) 1
Ernie R Jaurigui (Death) 1
Jay Blanchard (Death) 1
Sister Consuelo Mandanger (Carmelites) 1
Sister Eleanor Meatpummel (Carmelites) 1
Tomas Haugen (Ravens) 1
VIP#52 (Pulling) 1
Fatalities:
Ernie R Jaurigui (Death) 1
Interceptions:
Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1
Completions:
Ferreha the Particular (Griffons) 4
Jenassa Samarys (Saints) 4
Sister Pearlie Stoneknuckles (Carmelites) 2
Darane Mencele (Saints) 1
Randall Gnant (Death) 1
Shirduzus the Discrete (Griffons) 1
Shudris the Sage (Griffons) 1
Thor Åkenskaldi (Ravens) 1
VIP#8 (Pulling) 1
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