Blood Bowl: Turboleague 2021 results

I am delighted to share the final results of a very successful Blood Bowl Turboleague season! Even though we only started playing at the end of September, we still managed to get no less than seven players involved: not only returning coaches and teams from previous seasons, but also players brand new to Blood Bowl either on the board or altogether. I want to extend my fond thanks to everyone who took part, either as a coach or spectator, and also an extra thank you to the coaches of the Griffons and Murderers for their pictures and game reports respectively.

This year, we used the venerable Competition Rules Pack. There is, of course, a whole new edition of Blood Bowl available nowadays, but based on what I've been reading about it, I'm not at all impressed. I especially hate that of all things, they've gone and made the passing game harder. It's inconceivable to me that someone looked at Blood Bowl and decided that passing needs to be nerfed. So frankly, I have no confidence or interest in what GW is doing right now, and I'm thinking of setting up as a CRP diehard; certainly at least the next season of the Turboleague is going to be played to CRP rules. And I'm very much hoping that next season will be even better and more action-packed than this one.

**

Here's a list of all the Turboleague games played this season.

Vindaaagh Pulling - Sheogorad Saints 0-1

Reid Death - Saints 1-1

Griffon Gate Griffons - Saints 2-2

Lake Bodom Carmelites - Saints 1-2

Hank von Helvete Memorial Fisher King Bowl: Griffons - RagnaRock Ravens 1-1

Death - Ravens 0-1

Black Winter Bowl: Ravens - Saints 1-1

Griffons - Mephala's Murderers 1-1

By a final score of 14 points and a 2-0-3 record, the 2021 Hellbird Turbocup champions are the Sheogorad Saints.

In addition to the usual league statistics, I have also decided to introduce the Turboleague's first individual award, for the player represented in the most statistical categories during the season. With a touchdown, casualty and completion to his name before the Black Winter Bowl, that player was going to be Ravens thrower #7 Thor Åkenskaldi, and since he has such a splendid name, I decided to name the trophy after him. However! In the Black Winter Bowl, Saints blitzer #44 Irileth Targaryen scored a fatality, and because this left her one measly star player point away from a level, I got her a completion as well. This meant she finished the season with a touchdown, casualty, fatality, interception and completion, becoming the first Turboleague player to record at least one of each in a single season. Therefore, the winner of the inaugural Thor Åkenskaldi award for player represented in most statistical categories is Irileth Targaryen!

Again, I want to thank all our coaches and spectators. I'd forgotten how much fun it is to just watch a Blood Bowl game!

**

The previous season's results are here, and here's the final 2021 league table and statistics.

League table [pts, goal differential, casualty differential, fatalities, completions, interceptions]

Sheogorad Saints (Dark Elf) (2-0-3) 14 pts, 7-5, 5-6, 2, 7, 1

RagnaRock Ravens (Norse) (1-0-2) 8 pts, 3-2, 3-5, 0, 2, 0

Griffon Gate Griffons (High Elf) (0-0-3) 6 pts, 4-4, 3-3, 0, 8, 0

Reid Death (Human) (0-1-1) 3 pts, 1-2, 4-2, 1, 1, 0

Mephala’s Murderers (Dark Elf) (0-0-1) 2 pts, 1-1, 2-3, 0, 2, 0

Lake Bodom Carmelites (Human) (0-1-0) 1 pts, 1-2, 2-1, 0, 2, 0

Vindaaagh Pulling (Orc) (0-1-0) 1 pts, 0-1, 1-0, 0, 1, 0

Touchdowns:

Raven Dren (Saints) 3

Barenziah Targaryen (Saints) 2

Bel-Zothlulus the Beast (Griffons) 2

Assaba-Bentus (Murderers) 1

Ghoryanus the Mighty (Griffons) 1

Freki (Ravens) 1

Harry E Mitchell (Death) 1

Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1

Jenassa Samarys (Saints) 1

Leifur Eriksson (Ravens) 1

Sister Wilamina Ironbludgeon (Carmelites) 1

Tarec the Artist (Griffons) 1

Thor Åkenskaldi (Ravens) 1

Casualties:

Barenziah Targaryen (Saints) 2

Ghoryanus the Mighty (Griffons) 2

Assaba-Bentus (Murderers) 1

Bel-Zothlulus the Beast (Griffons) 1

Ed Ranger (Death) 1

Ernie R Jaurigui (Death) 1

Harald Hårdare (Ravens) 1

Harry E Mitchell (Death) 1

Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1

Jay Blanchard (Death) 1

Raven Dren (Saints) 1

Sister Consuelo Mandanger (Carmelites) 1

Sister Eleanor Meatpummel (Carmelites) 1

Tomas Haugen (Ravens) 1

Thor Åkenskaldi (Ravens) 1

Tussurradad (Murderers) 1

Vermith Targaryen (Saints) 1

VIP#52 (Pulling) 1

Fatalities:

Ernie R Jaurigui (Death) 1

Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1

Vermith Targaryen (Saints) 1

Interceptions:

Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1

Completions:

Ferreha the Particular (Griffons) 5

Jenassa Samarys (Saints) 5

Sister Pearlie Stoneknuckles (Carmelites) 2

Abassel Asserbassalit (Murderers) 1

Assaba-Bentus (Murderers) 1

Darane Mencele (Saints) 1

Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1

Leifur Eriksson (Ravens) 1

Randall Gnant (Death) 1

Shirduzus the Discrete (Griffons) 1

Shudris the Sage (Griffons) 1

Tarec the Artist (Griffons) 1

Thor Åkenskaldi (Ravens) 1

VIP#8 (Pulling) 1

Individual awards:

Thor Åkenskaldi Award: Irileth Targaryen (Saints)

Bowl winners:

2021 Hank von Helvete Memorial Fisher King Bowl: RagnaRock Ravens

2021 Black Winter Bowl: Sheogorad Saints

**

Previous Hellbird Turbocup champions:

2020: RagnaRock Ravens (Norse)
2012: Braga's Brutes (Orc)

Previous season final league table: [pts, goal differential, casualty differential, fatalities, completions, interceptions, sacks]

RagnaRock Ravens (Norse) (0-0-1) 2 pts, 1-1, 2-0, 2, 1, 0, 0

Sheogorad Saints (Dark Elf) (0-0-1) 2 pts, 1-1, 0-2, 0, 1, 0, 0

Most touchdowns:

2020: Irileth Targaryen (Saints), Leifur Eriksson (Ravens): 1
2012: Finrod Angamaitë (Tor Achare Titans), Grab da Bol (Braga's Brutes), Grambad (Brutes), Leifur Eriksson (Ravens), Slib'ry Ands (Brutes), Solana Spikeheel (Blood River Buccaneers): 3

Most casualties:

2020: Freki (Ravens), Thor Åkenskaldi (Ravens): 1
2012: Teclis Turukáno (Titans): 5

Most fatalities:

2020: Freki (Ravens), Thor Åkenskaldi (Ravens): 1
2012: Athlan Icecold (Buccaneers), Galhag (Brutes), Gatgor (3rd Street Mütants): 1

Most interceptions:

2012: Finrod Angamaitë (Titans): 1

Most completions:

2020: Endroni Dalas (Saints), Harald Hårdare (Ravens): 1
2012: Beleg Strongarm (Titans): 6

Bowl winners:

2012 Skogen Mörke Dimmubowl: RagnaRock Ravens
2012 War Ina Babylon: Chaos (3rd Street Mütants)
2012 Antares Autobowl: Braga's Brutes

**

All-time team records, converted to current Turboleague format

Braga's Brutes (Orc) (5-1-0) 21 pts

RagnaRock Ravens (Norse) (3-3-3) 21 pts

Sheogorad Saints (Dark Elf) (2-0-4) 16 pts
Tor Achare Titans (High Elf) (3-3-0) 15 pts
Blood River Buccaneers (Dark Elf) (3-3-0) 15 pts

3rd Street Mütants (Chaos) (1-1-1) 7 pts

Mephala's Murderers (Dark Elf) (0-3-2) 7 pts

Griffon Gate Griffons (High Elf) (0-0-3) 6 pts

Tlaxtlan Warriors (Lizardmen) (1-0-0) 4 pts

Reid Death (Human) (0-1-1) 3 pts

Lake Bodom Carmelites (Human) (0-1-0) 1 pt

Vindaaagh Pulling (Orc) (0-1-0) 1 pt

Blood Bowl: The Griffon Gate Griffons - Mephala's Murderers 1-1

In the final game of the season The Griffon Gate Griffons face against Mephala’s Murderers, who are making their first appearance in the Turboleague in almost a decade. The weather is nice, and seven thousand Griffons fans and seven thousand Murderers fans have arrived to see the match, a testament to the equal fame between the teams.

Murderers win the coin toss and elect to kick. As Murderers’ expert kicker and two time MVP, lineman #11 Vatollia Apo sends a kick deep in the Griffons end, a riot breaks out between the players. The referee lets the clock run on as he tries to sort the situation out. The first half will be curtailed.

The agile High Elves easily retrieve the ball and start trying to punch a hole through the Murderers’ defensive line, with limited success. The fighting is heated, however, and several players find themselves stunned on the astrogranite.

The vicious melee leaves enough of a gap in the Griffins line that a number of Murderers manage to attack the ball. Murderers blitzer #1 Dranas Dradas knocks down the ball carrier, andwitch elf # 7 Shishi Yanumibaal manages to catch the ball as it bounces free.

The Griffons aren’t taking it lying down, however, and lineman #9 Ammozalri The Patient blocks Yanumibaal, leaving her stunned and the ball free. However, lineman #15 Aedaentrin The Learned fails to dodge clear of the fracas at the line, leaving Murderers with the advantage.

After Murderers manage to shove some High Elves out of the way, lineman #12 Assaba-Bentus blitzes Griffins lineman #11 Shudris the Sage out of the way, picks up the ball unhindered, and, going for it with all his might, manages to reach the goal line unmolested to score the first touchdown of the game! Shudris, meanwhile, is carried off the field, badly injured. The Griffins Apothecary manages to successfully treat his collarbone, feared completely smashed, but can do little for his fractured skull. A dramatic end to the first drive!

Vatollia Apo once again kicks the ball deep. Griffins seem still a little shaken, and the Murderers manage to catch them flat-footed, putting pressure on their depleted line with a quick Blitz, but it doesn’t prevent thrower #3 Ferreha the Particular from picking up the ball and delivering it to lineman #14 Tarec The Artist with a quick throw.

On the line, Murderers assassin #9 Balyn Omavel manages to stab Griffins lineman #9 Ammozalri The Patient. In other circumstances Ammozalri might have been only knocked out, but his niggling injury from an earlier game made an already bad situation worse, and he ends up with a broken neck. The Murderers, emboldened by the Griffins’ thinning line, run players in to put pressure on the ball carrier, although they don’t have quite enough quickness in the tank to attempt to sack him.

The Murderers pay for their exuberance when Tarec The Artist easily dodges free and sends an accurate pass down the field to blitzer #2 Blitzer Ghoryanus The Mighty. The Griffins make a hole in the Murderers defense by knocking out blitzer #1 Dranas Dradas, and Ghoryanus runs the ball deep.

The Murderers scramble to defend, and lineman #15 Nilos Talds manages to sack Ghoryanus and claim the ball, but he is left in a perilous position.

Ghoryanus gets back up and with an assistance from a teammate blitzes Nilos Talds. Clock is running down, but he has just enough time to recover the ball and go for it to reach the end zone before the half ends for a tying touchdown! Nilos Talds is carried from the field badly hurt.

There is just enough time for a kick off. With their expert kicker injured the Griffins play it safe with the kick. Balyn Omavel stabs lineman #16 Thakevi The Impetuous on the line of scrimmage, but he is only stunned. Assaba-Bentus tries to throw a quick completion, but can’t handle the ball. The first half comes to an end with the game tied 1-1.

The second half begins with both teams shorthanded, but it doesn’t prevent another riot among the players. Again the referee lets the clock run on, leaving less time for the Murderers’ drive. This time Assaba-Bentus manages to pick up the ball and complete a pass to Murderers runner #5 Giron Manas. Witch Elf Shishi Yanumibaal sends Griffins thrower #3 Ferrera The Particular into the stands, but he manages to escape without serious injury. The rest of the Murderers form a cage around Giron Manas as best they can.

For a while there is vicious fighting around the cage and elsewhere on the pitch. Griffins blitzer #1 Bel-Zothlulus The Beast manages to badly hurt Griffins blitzer #2 Nina, and she is carried off the field. The Murderers are now without Blitzers, as blitzer #1 Dranas Dradas is still knocked out. Murderers lineman #13 Tussurradad evens things up by sending Tarec The Artist off with a damaged back, an injury that will bother him for the rest of his career. Away from the cage, the Griffins attempt to foul a downed player. The attempt goes unnoticed by the referee, but doesn’t do much damage either.

The Murderers take advantage of a momentary gap in the defense to reposition their cage into Griffins half, but the Griffins see an opportunity to get to the ball carrier through the thinning cage. Ghoryanus The Mighty dodges through and heroically blitzes Giron Manas unassisted. The attack leaves Manas badly hurt and unable to continue the game, but he manages to dump the ball off to lineman #14 Abassel Asserbassalit before contact.

Murderers are running short of people and time on the clock, so Asserbassalit runs clear of what’s left of the cage and successfully throws the ball to a lineman deeper in the Griffins half. The rest of the available Murderers try to screen the lone ball carrier as best they can. Vatollia Apo, who is engaged with a Griffins player on the line, tries to reposition himself to block his opponent off, but comprehensively fails to dodge away, and even manages to stun himself on the play.

Thanks to Apo’s critical failure, the agile Griffins get three players on the ball carrier, and going for it with all their might successfully blitz him before the end zone. The Lineman stumbles and loses the ball, which the Griffins recover.

He gets right up, however, and blitzes the Griffins player with the ball with the support of other Murderes who managed to get to the scene in time. The ball bounces free, but too far for the lineman to pick it up and make it to the end zone before the whistle. The game ends in a tie.

**

The final score is Griffins 1 – Murderers 1. The Griffins inflicted three casualties. The Murderers also inflicted three, but one of those was from a stabbing and will not count for official statistics. Lineman #11 Shudris The Sage is selected as the Griffins MVP for the second time, and the Murderers MVP is, in spite of his colossal last-minute blunder, lineman #11 Vatollia Apo; this is the third time he has been so honored in the five games the Murderers have player. Griffins blitzer #2 Ghoryanus The Mighty, who scored one touchdown and two casualties, picks up enough Star Player Points for a new skill, and with a roll of double can pick from a wide selection. Murderes lineman # 12 Assaba-Bentus will also be picking up new skill after a casualty, touchdown, and a completion. Both teams increase their Fan Factor by one. Griffins pick up 30,000 gold and Murderers 60,000 from the gate.

**

League table [pts, goal differential, casualty differential, fatalities, completions, interceptions]

Sheogorad Saints (Dark Elf) (2-0-3) 14 pts, 7-5, 5-6, 2, 7, 1

RagnaRock Ravens (Norse) (1-0-2) 8 pts, 3-2, 3-5, 0, 2, 0

Griffon Gate Griffons (High Elf) (0-0-3) 6 pts, 4-4, 3-3, 0, 8, 0

Reid Death (Human) (0-1-1) 3 pts, 1-2, 4-2, 1, 1, 0

Mephala’s Murderers(Dark Elf) (0-0-1) 2 pts, 1-1, 2-3, 0, 2, 0

Lake Bodom Carmelites (Human) (0-1-0) 1 pts, 1-2, 2-1, 0, 2, 0

Vindaaagh Pulling (Orc) (0-1-0) 1 pts, 0-1, 1-0, 0, 1, 0

Touchdowns:

Raven Dren (Saints) 3

Barenziah Targaryen (Saints) 2

Bel-Zothius the Beast (Griffons) 2

Freki (Ravens) 1

Harry E Mitchell (Death) 1

Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1

Jenassa Samarys (Saints) 1

Leifur Eriksson (Ravens) 1

Sister Wilamina Ironbludgeon (Carmelites) 1

Tarec the Artist (Griffons) 1

Thor Åkenskaldi (Ravens) 1

Assaba-Bentus (Murderers) 1

Ghoryanus The Mighty (Griffons) 1

Casualties:

Barenziah Targaryen (Saints) 2

Ghoryanus The Mighty (Griffons) 2

Ed Ranger (Death) 1

Ernie R Jaurigui (Death) 1

Harald Hårdare (Ravens) 1

Harry E Mitchell (Death) 1

Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1

Jay Blanchard (Death) 1

Raven Dren (Saints) 1

Sister Consuelo Mandanger (Carmelites) 1

Sister Eleanor Meatpummel (Carmelites) 1

Tomas Haugen (Ravens) 1

Thor Åkenskaldi (Ravens) 1

Vermith Targaryen (Saints) 1

VIP#52 (Pulling) 1

Assaba-Bentus (Murderers) 1

Bel-Zothlulus The Beast (Griffons) 1

Tussurradad (Murderer) 1

Fatalities:

Ernie R Jaurigui (Death) 1

Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1

Vermith Targaryen (Saints) 1

Interceptions:

Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1

Completions:

Jenassa Samarys (Saints) 5

Ferreha the Particular (Griffons) 5

Sister Pearlie Stoneknuckles (Carmelites) 2

Darane Mencele (Saints) 1

Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1

Leifur Eriksson (Ravens) 1

Randall Gnant (Death) 1

Shirduzus the Discrete (Griffons) 1

Shudris the Sage (Griffons) 1

Thor Åkenskaldi (Ravens) 1

VIP#8 (Pulling) 1

Tarec The Artist (Griffins) 1

Assaba-Bentus (Murderers) 1

Abassel Asserbassalit (Murderers) 1

End-of-year 2021

Here we are, then: year 2 of the pandemic is drawing to a close, and we're looking at a third year of masks, restrictions and deaths.

I did my previous pandemic diary in August, when it looked like we were experiencing a fourth wave. Since then, we certainly have been: we've hit records for daily infections and hospitalizations, and the pandemic isn't even nearly over. The omicron variant is spreading like wildfire and we're looking at possible lockdowns again.

This is what I wrote in February.

Right now, I'm afraid we're going to be presenting Act 2 of this fallacy: to spare our hospitality industry some short-term loss, we've abandoned suppressing the pandemic - which means the long-term losses are going to be much greater than they would otherwise have been. In money and in lives.

So far, Finnish pandemic policy has been a weird ride. First we were very slow to take any of this at all seriously; we even had officials telling us that Finland won't be affected at all. We were very late to recommend facemasks or anything like that. Then our government did take action, and as a result of that, the total deaths and economic damage are still of a different order of magnitude than, say, Sweden. But now it looks like our social democrat-led government has decided that the hospitality business is more important than national health, and we'll all be paying for it.

We're also making a fairly big bet on the vaccination program being a success. If it isn't, we may still be dealing with this pandemic next year.

I think at this point it's safe to say we're heading into the third year of the pandemic, not least because the vaccination program hasn't worked out the way people were hoping. In our case, there are two failures. First, obviously, is the potentially disastrous parochialism and greed that left the pandemic running wild in poorer countries, which is going to keep birthing new wonderful variants for as long as we have Greek letters left.

The second failure is a national one. Our government had decided, somewhat arbitrarily, that an 80% vaccine uptake would be enough to reopen society. The trouble with this is that 20% of our population is still over a million people. It very much seems to me that this was exacerbated by overoptimistic messaging that once everyone gets vaccinated, everything will go back to normal. We even loosened mask mandates and other restrictions before actually hitting the 80% mark, and have been inexplicably reluctant to reimpose them. This fall, infection and hospitalization graphs can look like anything, and apparently we still can't interfere with the sacred right of the restaurant business to host karaoke nights.

I didn't expect a crisis would play out with a government first taking strong and decisive action, and then seem to completely lose the plot as the situation continues.

At this point I'm wondering how many more years we can stretch this out to if we keep failing to actually eradicate the virus. Even if we end up taking stronger measures next year, in the summer case numbers will fall, everyone will once again decide the pandemic is over and we'll start reopening everything. And then everyone acts shocked when it's October 2022 and case numbers are rising.

I want to be wrong about this.

**

Luckily, there are other things in life. Obviously the pandemic continues to prevent us from boardgaming as we'd like to, and Here I Stand by email continues; we've been in the fifth turn since May!

In matters Warhammer, last year I talked about my ongoing efforts to finish projects, and I have indeed finished some! I painted my machine cultists, and a Mechanicus Knight to go with them; a bunch of Deathwatch and tanks I had lying around; and my Necrons. The number of unpainted miniatures lying around on my desk, and unopened boxes on top of my bookshelf, is trending downward. Most importantly, finishing things has been very satisfying.

Luckily, I'm feeling quite alienated from a lot of the new GW products. I think the new orks/orcs are mostly terrible; they've ditched the iconic GW orc look and replaced it with something that just looks like an uninspired knockoff of the deeply silly Peter Jackson fantasy movies. The new Kill Team Sisters and Tau somehow manage to make both factions look bad. The trend of putting characters on higher and more complicated bases is incredibly silly.

I could go on, but suffice to say that there's a lot in the current GW aesthetic I just don't like, coupled with the fact that they're doing more and more effectively monopose plastics. I've also become thoroughly disenchanted with the way so much of what they do is now built around new box mania, where everybody in the social media community goes completely bananas over whatever the latest big box is, queues up in the online store to preorder it - and then you never see a single model out of that box ever again after the unboxing video.

On a more positive note, my three regular readers will have noticed that in October, this blog transformed into a Blood Bowl blog, and I'm not even a little bit sorry. On the contrary, I'm delighted that we got so many people to either try Blood Bowl for the first time or get back into it. Next year, we'll try to have a proper yearlong league! I was also very happy that so many people wanted to play, because it gave me a reason to finish painting several teams I had started or at least primed.

I'm not going to stop buying miniatures; collecting them is my hobby. But I am trying to narrow down the amount of projects I'm working on, and concentrate on the ones that make me happy and the ones that are actually likely to hit the tabletop. I'll be showing several of both off next year, I hope. I'm going to try practicing a sort of project management from now on, where I not only have a limited amount of projects I'm working on, but I'm also not buying anything new for a project until I've finished what I'm working on now.

Last summer, I started work on a truly long-term project: my model railroad layout. I hope to be able to provide some updates next year.

And speaking of projects, I did finish my Let's Read series on the Lord of the Rings. I still can't quite believe it's done. It was fun enough, though, that I did decide to continue it. Stay tuned!

**

In personal matters, I have to say I'm damn tired of this pandemic. I've been quite depressed and lonely, made worse by a frankly strange episode this fall when several of my friends cut me out of their lives altogether. On the other hand, I've been quite lucky to have at least some work teaching history to business school applicants. Last spring, we taught remotely, and quite frankly I hate it. Alas, with the pandemic continuing into next year, it looks like we'll be remote next spring as well. It's exhausting and frustrating, but better than nothing.

The trouble is that teaching is a terrible profession to be in right now. As I've said before, the notion regularly peddled in the English-speaking world that teachers are valued and well-paid in Finland is a total lie. For many of us, our job prospects are terrible. As the rural population shrinks, so does the school network, which means that for most subject teacher positions, there are dozens of applicants, many of whom have years if not decades of experience. I haven't even made it as far as a job interview for a single public sector position I've applied for, and I'm not sure if I ever will.

So a priority for next year is figuring out what to do for a living. This is really kind of annoying, since I like teaching history and according to the feedback I get, I'm good at it. Unfortunately, our public school system doesn't care if we're good at our job, it only cares about years of experience accumulated. It's not exactly fun to discover that no-one cares if you're any good at being a PhD student or not, and then go into teaching and find out that no-one there cares either. You start to wonder what the point is.

To end this part on a positive note, though, at least I've been able to find some work. Last summer, I even spent two months working full-time as a sort-of project manager, putting together material for polytechnic prep courses. This coming spring, pandemic situation permitting, I'll be giving two lectures as part of a series on the history of heresy; one of them is on Tolkien and the Lord of the Rings. Later on, I'm very much looking forward to delivering several lectures on environmental destruction and history with my colleague. We're in the middle of a climate crisis and a biodiversity crisis, and we're trying to do our part to fight them. So there's lots to look forward to as well.

**

So, once again, I hope the two or three people who read this blog are well, and that everyone has a lovely holiday season. One day the pandemic will end.

Blood Bowl: Black Winter Bowl: RagnaRock Ravens - Sheogorad Saints 1-1

Blood Bowl fans! It is time for the inaugural Black Winter Bowl, played in the dead of winter. This year, it's a rematch: last year, the Sheogorad Saints and RagnaRock Ravens determined the winner of the Turboleague in a tie game that left two Saints dead and the Ravens champions.

After a little break since facing the Carmelites, here are my Saints:

#5 Jenassa Samarys - runner (12 SPP, Dodge)

#11 Barenziah Targaryen - witch elf (8 SPP, Block)

#27 Vermith Targaryen - blitzer

#33 Raven Dren - assassin (11 SPP, Side Step)

#44 Irileth Targaryen - blitzer (13 SPP, Guard)

#69: Darane Mencele, line-elf (6 SPP, Kick)

#71: Hlireni Indavel, line-elf

#73 Brelda Quintella, line-elf

#77: Endroni Dalas, line-elf (1 SPP)

Joined once again by journeyelves #75 Morgiah R'zamenar and #66 Nephithah T'rizaron. I made a skill marker, or if you like, a skull marker for my witch elf:

The Ravens arrive fresh off their game against the Reid Death, with several newly leveled players but missing blitzer Hans von Helvete due to an injury.

#2 Harald Hårdare - blitzer (3 SPP)

#3 Geri - werewolf (5 SPP)

#4 Freki - werewolf (10 SPP, Guard)

#5 Leifur Eriksson - runner (3 SPP)

#7 Thor Åkenskaldi - thrower (8 SPP, +1 MA)

#8 Reidar Horghagen - lineman

#9 Tomas Haugen - lineman (2 SPP)

#10 Stian Tomt Thoresen - lineman

#11 Sven Atle Kopperud - lineman

#12 Per Yngve Ohlin - lineman

#13 Erik Nordman - lineman

Due to the difference in team values, the Ravens were awarded incentives, which they spent on mercenary blitzer #1 Ragnar and a Bloodweiser Babe.

**

Since this would be the last game of the season for both teams, the Ravens arrived at the Dagon Fel Superdome roaringly drunk. When the game finally got started, the winter sun was low over Sheogorad, and the glare made passing attempts difficult. The Ravens won the coin toss and elected to defer.

As the Saints secured the ball, the usual brawl broke out at midfield, with several players knocked over.

In the fracas, Ravens werewolf #3 Geri overextended himself, and got pushed into the crowd by Saints witch elf #11 Barenziah Targaryen! Geri was knocked unconscious by the fans and was only recovered with difficulty by Ravens staff.

Meanwhile, the Saints caged the ball on their left and tried to fight off the drunken Norse tidal wave coming at them.

Worse was to come for the Ravens when witch elf Barenziah blocked and injured thrower #7 Thor Åkenskaldi, taking him out of the game! Her second casualty of the season takes Barenziah Targaryen into the league lead in casualties inflicted.

The Saints shifted their attack to the right, trying to keep the ravening Norse away from the ball and get some receivers clear.

As the Saints made a break for it along the right sideline, Ravens mercenary blitzer #1 Ragnar clawed back the odds for the Norse team by knocking out Saints journeyelf #75 Morgiah R'zamenar.

Quickly, a wall of Nordic flesh blocked the Saints' forward progress.

Spotting an opening, Saints runner #5 Jenassa Samarys dodged free and sent the ball across the field to assassin #33 Raven Dren for her league-leading sixth completion.

Back on the sideline, the carnage continued as Saints line-elf #71 Hlireni Indavel sent Ravens blitzer #2 Harald Hårdare flying into the crowd! The Ravens' apothecary heroically rescued the blitzer from what looked like certain death at the hands of the rabid fans, leaving him sidelined with a fractured leg. However, the Saints' numbers advantage was short-lived as Sheogorad kicker #69 Darane Mencele failed her dodge and knocked herself out!

In revenge for his blitzer, Ravens lineman #9 Tomas Haugen knocked out Saints #71 Indavel, but Saints assassin Dren fought off a desperate last blitz by Ravens runner #5 Leifur Eriksson.

On the Saints' last turn of the half, Dren took the ball into the Ravens end zone for her league-leading third touchdown of the season and a 1-0 Saints lead.

Ravens werewolf #3 Geri and Saints kicker #69 Mencele recovered in time for the next kickoff, where Ravens runner #5 Eriksson scored a completion and some elves were knocked over, bringing the half to an end with the score 1-0 for the home team.

**

When the teams lined up for the second half and the Ravens' reception, the sun had dropped behind the hills around Dagon Fel, removing the glare from the players' eyes and leaving the match to continue under the eerie green glow of the midwinter aurora. All knocked-out players made a full recovery, leaving the Ravens a man short.

The half got off to a rocky start for the visitors as Leifur Eriksson failed to pick up the ball.

This gave the Saints time to set up head coach T.Rex's time-honored elfball defense.

The Ravens formed up for their infamous "box-play" while the elves tried to keep their distance.

In the ensuing mêlée, Saints blitzer #44 Irileth Targaryen blitzed Ravens lineman #11 Sven Attle Kopperud, newly recovered from a broken jaw caused by a fan-thrown rock, and scored the Saints' first franchise fatality when he didn't get up again.

Despite the death of their team-mate, the Norse cage rolled on down the field.

As the Ravens kept on coming, eventually the Saints, secure at the top of the league standings with a tie game, decided that holding up the frenzied norsemen wasn't worth any more elven blood, and stood aside.

This left Ravens #5 Leifur Eriksson free to score his fifth career Turboleague touchdown and tie the game.

With one turn remaining on the game clock and the score tied, the teams took to the field for one last kickoff.

Saints blitzer Irileth Targaryen scooped up the ball and scored a completion to kicker Mencele, and then some absolutely outrageous scenes unfolded at center field. Saints assassin and goal-scorer #33 Raven Dren blocked Ravens newcomer #13 Eric Nordman, leaving him badly hurt, while blitzer #27 Vermith Targaryen scored her first career casualty and the second fatality of the game with a block that left Ravens lineman #12 Per Yngve Ohlin dead!

**

With these acts of senseless violence, the game and the season ended for both teams. Since the result was a 1-1 tie, victory in the inaugural Black Winter Bowl goes to the Sheogorad Saints on the strength of four inflicted casualties to none. The Saints-Ravens rivalry is officially the bloodiest in Turboleague history, with a total of four fatalities out of six casualties altogether, as well as two other players injured.

MVP honors went to Ravens survivor #8 Reidar Horghagen and Saints blitzer #27 Vermith Targaryen. Ravens runner Leifur Eriksson gained a level, as did Saints blitzers Irileth and Vermith Targaryen, and assassin Raven Dren. Vermith rolled a new skill or MA/AV increase, and just for the hell of it, I've decided to get her the +1 MA. With a 50,000gp gate, I now also have the money to hire a third blitzer. We will therefore no longer require the services of journeyelf #75 Morgiah R'zamenar. With that, +1 fan factor and the levels, my team value is now 1 320 000 gp.

It's really nothing short of amazing how my star player points have accumulated on my positional players. We lost one MVP title to a journeyelf, and one line-elf got an MVP and then a completion for the level, but every single other star player point this season has gone to my positionals, and I haven't made any particular effort to have it turn out this way.

Since that was my last game of the season, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all my opponents, spectators and online commentators! I look forward to many more games next year.

**

League table [pts, goal differential, casualty differential, fatalities, completions, interceptions]

Sheogorad Saints (Dark Elf) (2-0-3) 14 pts, 7-5, 5-6, 2, 7, 1

RagnaRock Ravens (Norse) (1-0-2) 8 pts, 3-2, 3-5, 0, 2, 0

Griffon Gate Griffons (High Elf) (0-0-2) 4 pts, 3-3, 0-1, 0, 6, 0

Reid Death (Human) (0-1-1) 3 pts, 1-2, 4-2, 1, 1, 0

Lake Bodom Carmelites (Human) (0-1-0) 1 pts, 1-2, 2-1, 0, 2, 0

Vindaaagh Pulling (Orc) (0-1-0) 1 pts, 0-1, 1-0, 0, 1, 0

Touchdowns:

Raven Dren (Saints) 3

Barenziah Targaryen (Saints) 2

Bel-Zothius the Beast (Griffons) 2

Freki (Ravens) 1

Harry E Mitchell (Death) 1

Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1

Jenassa Samarys (Saints) 1

Leifur Eriksson (Ravens) 1

Sister Wilamina Ironbludgeon (Carmelites) 1

Tarec the Artist (Griffons) 1

Thor Åkenskaldi (Ravens) 1

Casualties:

Barenziah Targaryen (Saints) 2

Ed Ranger (Death) 1

Ernie R Jaurigui (Death) 1

Harald Hårdare (Ravens) 1

Harry E Mitchell (Death) 1

Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1

Jay Blanchard (Death) 1

Raven Dren (Saints) 1

Sister Consuelo Mandanger (Carmelites) 1

Sister Eleanor Meatpummel (Carmelites) 1

Tomas Haugen (Ravens) 1

Thor Åkenskaldi (Ravens) 1

Vermith Targaryen (Saints) 1

VIP#52 (Pulling) 1

Fatalities:

Ernie R Jaurigui (Death) 1

Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1

Vermith Targaryen (Saints) 1

Interceptions:

Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1

Completions:

Jenassa Samarys (Saints) 5

Ferreha the Particular (Griffons) 4

Sister Pearlie Stoneknuckles (Carmelites) 2

Darane Mencele (Saints) 1

Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1

Leifur Eriksson (Ravens) 1

Randall Gnant (Death) 1

Shirduzus the Discrete (Griffons) 1

Shudris the Sage (Griffons) 1

Thor Åkenskaldi (Ravens) 1

VIP#8 (Pulling) 1

Blood Bowl: Reid Death - RagnaRock Ravens

Today we report on a further escalation of our Blood Bowl Turboleague, as the Reid Death follow up their league debut by travelling to face the reigning Hellbird Turbocup champions, the RagnaRock Ravens! After their season opener against the Griffon Gate Griffons, the Ravens are missing lineman Sven Atle Kopperud after a spectator threw a rock at him and broke his jaw; the Reid Death arrive with the same roster as in their previous game.

As the teams lined up on the Ravens home stadium, the Rock, the weather was unseasonably hot for Norsca, but by kickoff the heat had dissipated. The Ravens won the coin toss and elected to kick, and the Reid Death launched a spirited offense, sending several receivers into the Ravens rear.

The Ravens, of course, rushed back to cover the receivers: werewolf Geri blitzed Death catcher #21 Ed Ranger, knocking him out for the rest of the game.

In retaliation, Death blitzer #7 Jay Blanchard stormed in and scored their first career casualty by injuring Fisher King Bowl MVP Hans von Helvete, who was saved by the ministrations of the Ravens apothecary, but will miss the next game with a pinched nerve.

Opting for a very aggressive early offense, Death thrower #10 Randall Gnant launched a pass to catcher #19 Harry E Mitchell, but the pass was unsuccessful.

Ravens thrower Thor Åkenskaldi quickly scooped up the ball, and as Gnant tried to make up for his failed pass and cover his RagnaRock opposite number, he overreached himself, fell over and knocked himself out!

Already down a player, things got worse for the New World team when Ravens blitzer #2 Harald Hårdare avenged his colleague by not only taking Death blitzer Blanchard out of the game, but also saddling them with a niggling injury.

The outnumbered Reid Death were in no position to stop the Ravens from securing the ball and moving it up the field.

As the other players brawled, thrower Åkenskaldi took off for the Death end zone.

The visitors launched a last, desperate blitz to stop the Ravens from scoring, but it ended badly as Åkenskaldi injured blitzing Death catcher Mitchell.

With a Norse touchdown imminent, the Death looked to even the odds by fouling Ravens werewolf Freki, who was badly hurt on the play and missed the rest of the game.

The Ravens ran down the clock until the last seconds of the first half, when Thor Åkenskaldi walked into the end zone for his first career touchdown and a 1-0 Ravens lead.

**

In the second half, the receiving Ravens took no chances whatsoever.

The kickoff landed right behind the line of scrimmage, and to the unfathomable delight of the home crowd, the Ravens executed their infamous "box-play" and formed an impenetrable cage around the ball.

As eleven thousand frenzied Norse fans screamed "BOX", Ravens werewolf Geri blitzed unwary Death lineman #8 Jeff Bollerman into the crowd.

The Ravens were content to stay in their midfield box, running down the clock to protect their one-goal lead and fending off the Death's attempts to break in.

Toward the end of the half, the Norse formation loosened up somewhat, and this gave the visitors their only chance to even the score.

In the last turn of the game, a blitzing Death lineman managed to knock out Ravens thrower Åkenskaldi. For the first time since the opening kickoff, the ball was loose!

In an absolutely heroic effort, Death blitzer #88 Ernie E Jaurigui dodged into the Ravens box, grabbed the ball and launched a desperate last-second pass toward the Ravens end zone... which sailed over the head of the waiting receiver and landed on the merciless astrogranite of the Rock.

The incredibly tense second half ended the same way it started: 1-0 Ravens.

**

That was quite a game: from the wide-open play and gratuitous violence of the first half to the absolute clinic in caging and the 1-0 grind that was the second half. It may not sound like much in the report, but the tension in the second half was like a high-level chess game. The Ravens possession game was simply so strong that the visitors had no chance to get at the ball. Our league had such a long hiatus that I'd forgotten how much I enjoy watching Blood Bowl games!

For logistical reasons, this game wraps up the Reid Death's inaugural Turboleague season; it's been a delight having them. Still to come, the Saints-Ravens rematch!

**

League table [pts, goal differential, casualty differential, fatalities, completions, interceptions]

Sheogorad Saints (Dark Elf) (2-0-2) 12 pts, 6-4, 1-6, 0, 5, 1

RagnaRock Ravens (Norse) (1-0-1) 6 pts, 2-1, 3-1, 0, 1, 0

Griffon Gate Griffons (High Elf) (0-0-2) 4 pts, 3-3, 0-1, 0, 6, 0

Reid Death (Human) (0-1-1) 3 pts, 1-2, 4-2, 1, 1, 0

Lake Bodom Carmelites (Human) (0-1-0) 1 pts, 1-2, 2-1, 0, 2, 0

Vindaaagh Pulling (Orc) (0-1-0) 1 pts, 0-1, 1-0, 0, 1, 0

Touchdowns:

Barenziah Targaryen (Saints) 2

Bel-Zothius the Beast (Griffons) 2

Raven Dren (Saints) 2

Freki (Ravens) 1

Harry E Mitchell (Death) 1

Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1

Jenassa Samarys (Saints) 1

Sister Wilamina Ironbludgeon (Carmelites) 1

Tarec the Artist (Griffons) 1

Thor Åkenskaldi (Ravens) 1

Casualties:

Barenziah Targaryen (Saints) 1

Ed Ranger (Death) 1

Ernie R Jaurigui (Death) 1

Harald Hårdare (Ravens) 1

Harry E Mitchell (Death) 1

Jay Blanchard (Death) 1

Sister Consuelo Mandanger (Carmelites) 1

Sister Eleanor Meatpummel (Carmelites) 1

Tomas Haugen (Ravens) 1

Thor Åkenskaldi (Ravens) 1

VIP#52 (Pulling) 1

Fatalities:

Ernie R Jaurigui (Death) 1

Interceptions:

Irileth Targaryen (Saints) 1

Completions:

Ferreha the Particular (Griffons) 4

Jenassa Samarys (Saints) 4

Sister Pearlie Stoneknuckles (Carmelites) 2

Darane Mencele (Saints) 1

Randall Gnant (Death) 1

Shirduzus the Discrete (Griffons) 1

Shudris the Sage (Griffons) 1

Thor Åkenskaldi (Ravens) 1

VIP#8 (Pulling) 1