2-1

Pittsburgh got their first goals, and win, of the series. Frankly, Detroit's first line played way below their level, and their power play is going to have to start working. Detroit still did dominate most of the game, so I'm still not very optimistic about the Pens making this a series.

Pittsburgh gained tactical surprise in the first period by playing a full trap. Nothing like thrilling hockey! See some of the bitter comments by Pittsburgh fans in my previous post about how horrible Detroit's play style is. I hope they're happy to see their team bringing the hockey back with a good old-time-hockey 1-4 trap...

Andreas Lilja and Brad Stuart played way above their level at home in the finals; last night, they played well below it. Andreas Lilja especially was absolutely terrible, and played a pretty big part in all of Pittsburgh's goals.

Sadly, Michel Therrien's whining about the referees seems to have accomplished something. The refs were calling more penalties, more randomly, which basically brings the finals closer to the regular season in terms of refereeing.

Mike Babcock had some different comments to make after losing a game:

Red Wings Coach Mike Babcock blamed himself for keeping his top players, including Zetterberg and Pavel Datsyuk, on the ice too much during a first period that Detroit largely dominated until Crosby scored at 17:25. "I thought those guys tried to do too much," Babcock said. "I thought the coach played them too much and I thought they tried to do too much. So they stayed on too long. And we didn't have the same kind of tempo coming off our bench that we did in the first couple of games. I like the fact that we're trying, but you've got to do more by doing less." - Detroit Free Press

Some other coach, who I won't name, might have behaved differently after losing a game.

Meanwhile, Mike Brophy keeps up his high standards of journalism at the Hockey News. After Game 2, this was the most boring series of hockey ever; now he's written an entire column gushing about how brilliant and wonderful Cindy Crosby is. Now the game wasn't boring; instead, the Penguins dominated it and the score "flattered the Red Wings". Yawn.

Similarly, Adam Proteau: "Game 3 of the Stanley Cup final was easily the best game of the series, thanks mostly to Sidney Crosby’s offensive heroics and Marc-Andre Fleury’s prowess in the Penguins net."

In terms of viewing quality, Game 3 was easily the worst game of the series. Pittsburgh played a trap and stifled the Wings' offense, and basically the first half of the game was awful hockey. Unless you're wearing league-issued Crosby blinkers, in which case it was brilliant. By the way, Fleury was crap; Franzen's shot should never have been a goal. Had Detroit gotten better shots, especially from their first line, Fleury would have lost the game for the Penguins. For what it's worth, Jatkoaika.com agrees with me on the level of play.

Obviously we must be wrong, because here's what the Canadian Press had to say:
"The 2008 Stanley Cup final finally lived up to its pre-series hype Wednesday night and delivered a breathtaking display of skill, talent and big hits in Pittsburgh's 3-2 win over Detroit."
"There was a bit of everything. And not a dull moment."
"A lot of people had also counted out seeing great hockey. They were wrong."

To make an unfair generalization, there's nothing like a Canadian hockey fan/journalist. They turn like a weathervane to the hockey wind. When their golden boy is held off the board, the series is boring and awful; when Cindy scores, everything is beautiful and perfect. In Canada, the wind doesn't blow: it sucks.

Then again, THN's polls are a bit weird. Who do you suppose are their three candidates for their own Coach of the Year trophy?

If you guessed Donald Duck, your hockey acumen is better than theirs. These are the choices you can vote for in their Coach of the Year poll:

Claude Julien
John Stevens
Michel Therrien

Need I remind anyone that I already picked Therrien to win the Jack Adams this year? My logic is that he's by far the least deserving guy to win it. So was Alain Vigneault last year, and he won it. If any of these guys win it, it'll be an even greater travesty.


We'll see what happens on Saturday. If Detroit gets their act together and blows past Pittsburgh's trap, they'll take it back to the Joe with a 3-1 lead.

Kylie Minogue and Deep Space 9

Today is Kylie Minogue's birthday. Not only has she been making great music for some twenty years, she recently battled and defeated breast cancer. Happy birthday, Kylie!

On another note, MTV3 Scifi is now showing Deep Space Nine from the very beginning, one episode per day. I've just watched both parts of the beginning double episode "Emissary", and I remember why I didn't watch more DS9 back in the day.

My first issue is with Avery Brooks, who plays Commander Sisko. I don't like his style, and I still haven't gotten used to the way he delivers his lines. He speaks stiltingly, and has strange pauses and slightly weird stresses on his words that almost make him sound like English is his second language. He's certainly not a charismatic series lead like his predecessors in Star Trek, although they did set a fairly high standard.

In general, DS9 was one of the first times I ran into something that seems to have since become a sci-fi TV/movie staple: everyone has an attitude problem. In "Emissary", first Sisko is appalingly rude to Captain Picard, and then he starts meeting his future subordinates. Major Kira Nerys acts like she's borderline insane, and "Constable" Odo's first reaction on seeing a Starfleet officer with a commander's insignia is to start screaming at him. Why is it that sometime in the 1990's it became fashionable to make the future (think Sage from GTA:San Andreas's Radio X here) edgy? It gets really old really quick.

When the boring lead character and the edgy supporting cast combine with what, in Emissary's case, is a really boring script, I'll freely admit I totally tuned out halfway through the second part. When Sisko is trying to explain linear time to the aliens, I nearly fell asleep. That was stunningly boring. After the first five minutes or so of Sisko talking...in his strangely...broken way about...linear time, I was thinking about Norkys Batista and frankly missed all the rest of the dialogue. Meet Norkys Batista:

The last time around, I watched part 1 of Emissary and stopped there. In retrospect, I think I made the right decision. They say the series picks up later on; we'll see. I'll finish with some Kylie:

2-0

Detroit wins again, in a series that is a joy to watch. Detroit is playing some of the best hockey I've ever been priviledged to watch. I could go on and on about it, but basically it's like it's Detroit's puck, and they occasionally let the Penguins play with it.

So far, the Penguins haven't scored a single goal in two games of the finals. That's a credit to Chris Osgood's goaltending, but most of all to Detroit's team defense and the way they keep winning all the puck battles.

Teams that win the first two games of the Stanley Cup have a 30-1 record in the finals, so Pittsburgh has a mountain to climb. Two consecutive shutouts to start the finals have only been recorded three times previously in league history.

Predictably, Penguins coach Michel Therrien had something to say in his post-game press conference:

"He's a good actor," Therrien said of Osgood. "He goes to players and he's diving."

...

Therrien also accused the Red Wings of employing obstruction to slow his players.

"It's tough to generate any offence," he complained. "They're good at (obstruction)."

I'm not kidding. He took the stand at the press conference to complain that Detroit is obstructing his players and Osgood dives. The Canadian press is jumping on the bandwagon, with both Mike Brophy at THN and Bob Mckenzie at TSN talking about Osgood's dives.

For what it's worth, there were two goaltender interference penalties called. One was to Sykora for throwing a check on Osgood, and the other was to Ryan Malone who charged deep into the crease. Both are automatic calls. Osgood may have embellished the second one, but to complain about that when everyone is just fine with the disgusting goalie interference call on Tomas Holmström in Game 1 is disingenuous to say the least.

Of course, Brophy also complains that the finals have been "boring". I understand it's tough for people on the NHL's Crosby diet to deal with the fact that their golden boy is losing the finals, but the fact is that, like I said earlier, the Penguins haven't faced any real adversity before this. The minute they come up against a team that puts up a fight, ignores the league's "no checking Crosby" rules and plays great hockey, the Penguins can barely get a shot on goal. It took them 12 minutes last night to get their first one. The NHL's most overrated team is showing its true mettle.

Of course, like I said, Therrien mentioned obstruction and diving. Let's talk about rules violations and fouls, then. Gary Roberts returned to the Penguins lineup for Game 2, amidst fanfare from the Canadian press. Roberts, a grizzled veteran and one of only three Cup winners on the Penguins team (he got his with the New York Americans in 1625), was meant to bring toughness and leadership to the team.

Instead, all he brought was fouls and cheap shots, culminating in the most despicable play of the finals to date. Johan Franzén also returned to Game 2, having suffered from a concussion, and Roberts took advantage. He skated past Franzén, who didn't have a puck, and punched him in the head. It was a cheap shot to the head, made even more disgusting by the fact that he's punching a player recovering from a concussion.

Other than that, Roberts brought a lot of holding, hooking, hits from behind and questionable plays in general. He didn't get called for any of them. Given the way Roberts carried on, and some other choice plays in the game, including more than one hit from behind that sent a Detroit player into the boards, it's pretty rich to listen to Michel Therrien whine about the referees.

A coach with no class, coaching a team with no class.

Luckily, all the true believers in the Savior of Hockey, Jesus Crosby, now have a convenient whipping boy: Evgeni Malkin. Sure, the Russian Crosby has been playing way worse than anyone thought in the finals; you can hardly tell he's there at all. To be fair, I remember more than one time in the regular season when Malkin pulled the same vanishing trick and didn't seem to show up for games at all.

But blaming Malkin for Pittsburgh's total inefficiency is just ridiculous. Crosby himself has had the best scoring chances on his team, and he's blown every one. Of course, everyone from Ron Mclean on Hockey Night in Canada to a silly Finnish blogger is gushing about how Sidney Crosby has been the Penguins's best player and he's been great on the ice and he really plays his heart out. Really? I haven't noticed. I've seen him mess up every scoring chance he's gotten, and be absolutely powerless when the opposing D doesn't just let him blow past like they do in the Eastern conference regular season.

The Penguins fans are getting the rest of their excuse kit ready. There's some absolutely priceless stuff in the reader comments to Ken Campbell's latest on the Hockey News. Here's some:

Harry (Posted 2008-05-26 17:41:05):
The Wings style of play is actually worse than the the trap in my opinion cause at least with the trap you could work your way through it, but all the wings do is play offensive hockey until they have a lead then just hold onto the puck. It really isn't exciting hockey. It's boring and useless.

I have nothing to say. Detroit dominates the game because they're simply so much better than the flopping Penguing. Obviously, outplaying your opponent is way worse than the trap. This guy, however, has more to say:

Harry (Posted 2008-05-27 09:20:56)
The Wings may inspire kids to play, but they should know that they are never going to be play for Detroit in any other form than a grinder cause they weren't born in Europe.

Hey, it's the race card! I haven't seen that one for a while. This might be a good time to remind readers of Mike Smith's blog entry on the Hockey News last year: Where will they come from?, where he talks about what the Hockey News politely calls "bias" in the league. To make a long story short, in a league that has always been downright racist in its hiring practices, it's pretty damn rich to hear a North American claim that an NHL team favors Europeans.

Several others are complaining that the series is boring because of the way Detroit is dominating the game. I say bullshit. Detroit is putting on a tremendous exhibition of hockey for us, and I've enjoyed every minute of it. I understand that if the league's publicity machinery has really gotten you to believe that Sidney Crosby is the greatest thing to ever happen to hockey, and that the Penguins are the greatest team to ever lace up their skates, I suppose you're going to be bored watching them being dominated. If you're a fan of hockey, this is a great final series.

Last weekend

Quite a few things I want to comment on, so let's get going.

First, the Stanley Cup finals, game 1. Detroit won 4-0, and was clearly the better team on the ice. Osgood outplayed Fleury, and the Wings won all the puck battles against the Penguins. They just plain outplayed Pittsburgh.

Of course, it's not a Pittsburgh game without the referees. In the first period, Nicklas Lidström scores on Marc-Andre Fleury, but the goal is waved off (YouTube). The reason? Goaltender interference.

That was probably the most shocking call I've seen this year apart from Ville Koistinen's goal through the side net at the world champs. My question is simple: when was goaltender interference redefined to involve doing anything that in any way "prevents a goalie from making a save"? That's what the morons, erm, commentators on Hockey Night in Canada were parroting, but who made that interpretation and where? Goaltender interference used to mean running into the goaltender. Now it means touching the goaltender with your stick, at least if it's a Pittsburgh goaltender.

Don't believe me? Here's what the NHL.com game recap says.

Holmstrom’s second penalty of the period, at 15:50, especially was costly, resulting in a goal by Nicklas Lidstrom being waved off because Holmstrom got his stick between Fleury’s pads, resulting in a goaltender interference call.

Watch the video. Does Holmström have his stick between Fleury's pads? Maybe. Since when is that goaltender interference? Since the league decided Crosby needs to win the Cup. That was a downright terrible call.

Here's an article from the Bleacher Report that I ran into while googling that recaps the Holmström story. It's worse than the writer thinks, actually. Before the Stanley Cup finals began, the NHL head office had a word with the referees who are going to be calling the finals. They emphasized that the referees were to pay special attention to goaltender interference.

Isn't that funny, when one team has a player who speializes in screening the goalie and has been gettind screwed with ridiculous disallowed goal calls in these playoffs already? Pittsburgh doesn't have anyone who does what Holmström does, so effectively the refs are being told by the league to pay special attention to Holmström. Not, for instance, slashing after being checked, a Sidney Crosby specialty that he almost invariably gets away with. The league doesn't tell them to be alert for diving, with a team stocked with diving artists from the captain on down in the finals. No, it's that one Swedish guy you need to be watching.

It amounts to systemic bias against Detroit, nothing less.

Another refereeing constant that's emerging this playoffs also has to do with Penguins games. In every Pens game I've seen, the referees put their whistles in their pockets for the whole third period, until they call a ridiculously soft penalty that gives Pittsburgh a late power play. They already did this several times in the Rangers series, and it cost the Rangers two games. They did it again on Saturday; no penalties in the third period until 45:27, when Nicklas Lidström is given a joke of a penalty for "interference". Him and Marian Hossa were racing for the puck and they were both struggling with each other. The only reason to send Lidström to the box is because he didn't have a Penguins jersey.

Almost every game so far: no third period penalties until the Penguins get a soft call and a power play. It's pretty pathetic. The Wings are also taking a major chance in hitting Crosby. Zetterberg especially flattened him last night. The thing is, it's very worthwhile to hit Crosby, because in the first final this weekend, you could see how pissed off Crosby was when he got hit. It's a delight to watch, but you have to wonder if the referees will stand for it.

I have faith that the Wings can win this series, but we'll see if the Penguins are going to start playing at some point and not just rely on everything automatically going their way. The key to the series is simple; the Penguins haven't faced any real adversity once in these playoffs. They went up against an Ottawa team that couldn't have beaten anyone because of the total disarray it was in, and then faced the Rangers and Flyers. The Flyers were decimated by injuries, the Rangers were never a strong squad to begin with, and the officials worked overtime to give the Penguins those series. They haven't had a single real test yet.

Detroit is that test. We'll see how the Penguins do. In my opinion, there are several weaknesses in the Penguins' team that would probably have gotten to them already without the league and referees helping them out. They really are young and inexperienced, and it's going to cost them against a team as battle-hardened as Detroit. Key to their inexperience is how they handle defeat. I wouldn't be surprised if the team implodes in Game 2 if they go behind.

Their goaltending is still weak. Despite what Pens fans and Canadians say, Marc-Andre Fleury is not a top-notch goalie, and he hasn't magically turned into one overnight. Look at the 4-0 goal by Zetterberg in Game 1 and watch Fleury's confidence disappear. If the Wings get an easy goal by him in Game 2, it's all going to be downhill from there.

In terms of tactics, the Penguins play a very simple defensive trap, and Detroit is very adept at breaking through it. They scored most of their goals on dump-ins that they chased hard, and Pittsburgh had no answer.

The Wings have what it takes to win the Cup.

**

Onward to Formula 1! A horrible race this Sunday, no two ways about it. The best I can say is that everyone has a bad race every now and then, and this was Kimi's bad race, so hopefully he won't have another one in a while.

I feel really bad for Adrian Sutil. Kimi lost control of the car coming out from the tunnel, in the exact same place Coulthard lost his, and ran into Sutil. A pure accident, but it wrecked Sutil's race, and he was driving the Grand Prix of a lifetime. I wish he'd got the points, because he deserved them.

Felipe Massa again showed why I want him gone from Ferrari as soon as possible. The Ferraris started from the front row, and what does Massa do immediately? He blocks Kimi Räikkönen, letting Lewis Hamilton pass him. Massa is disgusting. The reason Hamilton got past Kimi at the start is simple: Kimi had to brake because Massa was blocking him. A Ferrari driver blocks the other Ferrari at the start, letting McLaren's golden boy pass him. Unbelievable. The sooner he's gone, the better it will be for the team.

According to MTV3, Flavio Briatore is very disappointed in Nelson Piquet's performance. As well he should! If Flavio was disappointed in Heikki Kovalainen's driving last year, well, Piquet's been much worse. I can't help but wonder how much longer Renault are going to let Piquet bumble around the track. He's been rubbish, and isn't getting any better.

This is the second race in a row where Heikki Kovalainen has failed, much to the dismay of Finnish media. First his car malfunctions, and then he crashed several times. He was very lucky to finish eighth, and without Kimi hitting Sutil, Kovalainen would again have scored zero points.

A horrible Grand Prix from my point of view. I'll try to forget it happened and wait for Canada.

**

Finally, the Eurovision song contest.

Now that the contest is over, the semi-final votes have been revealed. Sweden actually did a hell of a lot worse than anyone thinks: they weren't voted into the finals. This year, nine of the countries to go through from each semi-final were chosen by voting, and one by committee. Sweden only got through because the committee picked them. I'm always happy when Sweden fails, and this year they failed spectacularly.

There were rumors going around that Finland had won their semi-final; in fact, they placed eighth. I have to admit I was wrong about Teräsbetoni. They did even worse than I thought. Several things conspired against them, in my opinion.

First of all, Missä miehet ratsastaa simply isn't a good song. It's a totally by-the-numbers heavy metal song with nothing original about it, so it's unsurprising that it didn't do that well. Also, there was a far better rock song in the contest: Turkey's entry. That must have eaten up a lot of the votes that might have gone to Teräsbetoni.

I'm wondering whether the decisive factor didn't actually end up being the lyrics I already made fun of. I need to write more about heavy metal and what's wrong with it these days, because part of it is embodied in Teräsbetoni. The lyrics about manhood and duty, coming from a bunch of guys who look like that, sound like the childish proto-fascism of an angry 12-year old.

My favorite song, by far, was Azerbaijan's Day After Day. Delightfully, they finished in eighth place, which isn't bad for a country making its Eurovision debut. I thought their song and performance was simply great.

More Eurovision farce was provided by the inimitable Terry Wogan and his wig. Sir Terry had this to say after the contest:

Sir Terry Wogan said he may quit as the BBC's Eurovision commentator, as the UK entry sung by former X Factor finalist Andy Abraham finished in last place.

Sir Terry cast doubt on his role after saying this year's results showed it was "no longer a music contest".

Sir Terry, who has commentated on the competition since the 1970s, told BBC News: "I don't want to be presiding over yet another debacle."

Abraham received 14 points for his song Even If, as Russia won with 272 points.

"Russia were going to be the political winners from the beginning," he told viewers at the end of his commentary on Saturday.

...

"Andy Abraham gave, I think, the performance of his life with a song that certainly deserved far more points than it got when you look at the points that Spain got, that Bosnia-Hercegovina got - some really ridiculous songs."

According to the Guardian, he said: "The voting used to be about the songs. Now it's about national prejudices."

The Guardian sums up the contest like this:

Russia won thanks largely to loyal voting from former Soviet republics. Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Ukraine, Belarus and Armenia all awarded it the maximum 12 points. Ukraine came second, helped by Russia, which awarded it eight points.

This is now the official UK party line. Really, reading that summary tells you exactly what the problem is: the British don't have the slightest clue about European politics.

OK, so Belarus is a Russian satellite. However, if you were to characterize current NATO member countries Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania by their relations with Russia, would you call them "loyal former Soviet republics"? Remember the anti-Russian riots in Tallinn and the Russian computer attacks on Estonia? Are you aware of each Baltic country's continuing troublesome relations with its Russian minority? To call them loyal former Soviet republis betrays an appalling ignorance of international relations in the Baltic.

Ukrainian-Russian relations are also a little more complicated than the British seem to think. Ukraine isn't exactly a loyal republic either, what with it actively trying to join the EU and NATO.

The most basic level on which Wogan's point is absolutely idiotic is very simple. Did Russia win because of bloc voting? Russia got points from 36 out of 42 countries that voted in the final. That's not counting Russia itself, who can't vote for themselves. Only six eligible countries gave Russia 0 points; they won with 272. If we deduct the six "loyal former Soviet republics" and their 12 points each (12*6=72; 272-72=200), that leaves 36 countries giving Russia a total of 200 points. That means Russia got an average of 5.55 points per country from the rest of Europe.

Theoretically, if all the "loyal former republics" had given Russia the same 5.55 points per country that the other European countries did, Russia would still have won.

The British are just being bitter, but this time they're going about it in a particularly ridiculous way.

I have a question for Terry Wogan: how, exactly, was it "decided politically" that Russia was going to win? I was under the impression there was a vote. Was the voting rigged? Is there a secret conspiracy of European broadcasters that decides who wins every year? Does that conspiracy have black helicopters?

The bottom line is simple. Britain doesn't lose because there's a gigantic, Europe-wide conspiracy; they lose because their entries are shit. This makes them bitter, and they invent conspiracy theories.

Here's a gem from the Guardian article:

The Liberal Democrat MP Richard Younger-Ross has tabled a Commons motion condemning the voting as "a joke". He said: "It is clear that the voting system is based on countries either supporting their friends or not voting for those they dislike. The BBC is one of the four main funders of the competition, and should withdraw their contribution until a time when there is a fair voting system."

A fair voting system, according to this MP, is not one where the citizens of each European nation vote for their favorite song. Oh no! That isn't fair. I think he's just made my case for me.


To finish on a happy note, here's another picture of Ani Lorak. She ended up finishing second, narrowly beating Greece's Britniaikos Javelinopoulos or whatever Britney Spears is calling herself these days.

Exciting!

Today's a banner day for entertainment!

First, the Monaco Grand Prix qualifiers. Ferrari got the front row, with Felipe Massa taking pole position. They're promising rain for tomorrow. A rainy Monaco circuit, with no traction control... Also, Massa has always been weak on a wet track. It's going to be interesting.

Next up: The Eurovision Song Contest, in less than an hour. I really have no idea who's gonig to win it. The bookies believe in Russia, but I'm not so sure. Even Finland has more of a shot than I thought. I'm genuinely stumped to predict a winner, so I'm just going to say I think this is going to be a close one.

Also tonight, the Stanley Cup finals kick off. Will the same bullshit continue? Will the refs call everything Pittsburgh's way? Or will they actually paly hockey for the Cup? Damned if I know, but I'll find out.

This is one busy weekend...

Semi-final two: weird

That was a weird semi-final. For those who missed it, the night's themes were shiny silver clothes (every second performance featured silver) and cover songs or at least references. Denmark sang about blue suede shoes and Belarus sang "hasta la vista, baby". Bulgaria peformed a cover of the Prodigy's Out of Space, Denmark did Free's All Right Now and bizarrely, Portugal performed a ballad cover of Army of Lovers' Crucified.

In other strange performances, Malta was represented by a techno song about vodka, and Latvia provided this year's official Crap Techno Song With a Totally Weird Theme with a band called, delightfully, Pirates of the Sea. They're in the final. Malta isn't, but they had a cute chick too:

Ukraine's Ani Lorak was damn hot, and so were the Czech girl's backup singers. Here's some Ani Lorak:

The Bulgarian Prodigy had a hot chick vocalist, which is a nice change from Keith Flint.

For what it's worth, their Prodigy cover wasn't too bad, and I'm really surprised they didn't make it to the semis. I can't imagine there's any other reason for Denmark and Iceland getting through and far better songs failing than bloc voting. Basically, Bulgaria got screwed by the new voting system.

Sweden's Charlotte looked grotesque and weird. Again, bloc voting. Damn you, European politics!

We'll see how the final goes. I don't have a prediction, except for my previous one that Finland won't grab a final spot. I'm not really convinced by any of the contestants so far, and the countries with guaranteed final spots don't look very strong either.

I'll finish with some more Ani Lorak. She won't win it either, but at least she's hot:

Doomsday!

I can't remember what TV channel I saw the Doomsday teaser on, but I did, and we decided to go see it. There were several arguments in favor, starting with Rhona Mitra:

I've already seen her in one movie, Beowulf (1999), and that was rubbish. Not her fault, though, and she's hot.

Based on the trailer, Doomsday looked like a weird Mad Max meets 28 Days Later pastiche. I figured it looked like it might be fun, and at worst, be bad in a way I'm very familiar with from having seen a lot of bad movies on video.

Also, I'm quite proud of myself for having finally developed a sort of moviegoing zen. These days, I'm able to go to a movie theater and leave all my preconceptions and expectations about a movie at the door, and just watch it. I went into Doomsday in this zen state; with no expectations, just to watch the movie and see if I would enjoy myself.

And I did.

Quite simply, given what I expected from this movie, it was great. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Rhona Mitra kicks ass, the supporting actors do a decent job, and there's actually a reason to have a Malcolm McDowell appearance. He also does quite a good job.

For those not in the know, the premise of the film is that sometime in the early 2000's, a deadly virus breaks out in Glasgow. There's no cure and mortality rates are (unrealistically) high, so the British government turns Scotland into a quarantine zone. Decades later, the virus breaks out again, this time in England. It's revealed there are survivors in Scotland, and a team is sent to the quarantine zone to find a cure.

To be honest, I was expecting a shit zombie movie. Instead, Doomsday is a heck of a good post-apocalyptic movie; after the beginning set-up, it turns into more or less a Mad Max in Scotland. It's thoroughly entertaining, and I actually found their post-disease world captivating.

At the end of the day, this is a movie that will reward the open-minded. Go into it a sceptic and it's easy to get caught up with some of the slightly silly aspects, like the "Malthus for kiddies" subtext and not-so-subtle political points. Go into it with an open mind, and you'll enjoy yourself.

I hate numerical ratings. If I had a system, say from 1-10, I'd say this was a good movie you should definitely go see.

Just what the league ordered

Mike Brophy blogged on The Hockey News with this headline: Sid in the final just what the NHL ordered. He says:

Say what you want about the best two teams making the final each year; it means squat to American television and no matter what your sensibilities are concerning this issue, the NHL is still very much trying to sell itself as a major attraction in the USA.

Having Sidney Crosby in the final does that.

Yeah, isn't it perfect? Meanwhile, in the same publication, Adam Proteau has this to say about officiating in the Pittsburgh-New York games:

Once again, the referees managed to misplace their whistles in the third period – either that, or they both suffered from simultaneous asthma attacks – and provided more material for conspiracy theorists.

Not a single penalty was called in the third period – that is, until Chris Drury landed himself a double minor for cutting open Ryan Malone on a high stick with 1:18 left in regulation.

There was a feeling of unmistakable irony after Drury was penalized, because in the second period, Drury himself was cut open badly after being high-sticked – by Malone! –but no penalty was called by the refs.

I think the Hockey Gods are trying to call you out, Stephen Walkom [NHL director of officiating]. There can be no possible rationalization for your officials continuously putting their hands in their pockets in third periods of games.

I’m normally one of your biggest defenders, but what’s going on is casting everything – the officials, the players, and the game itself – in a not-so-positive light.

Meanwhile, on TSN:

Last round, the New York Rangers were upset about calls whistled against them. Their biggest gripe was the penchant of Pittsburgh's players - especially Crosby - to embellish falls to draw a referee's whistle.

...

"Obviously, they might get protected a little bit more. That's understandable, but when they do some of the cheap shots that they're doing I think it would be fair for everybody that they get the same treatment in that regard."

The last quote is Daniel Briere, talking about Crosby and Malkin taking liberties with the rules.

Briere took an elbow to the head from Malkin; no penalty was called. Earlier in the season, a Flyers forward was suspended for a similar incident.

I already talked about how bullshit the refereeing was in the Penguins-Rangers series, and the same trend continued into the Flyers series. The incident Proteau describes wasn't unique; in fact, the Pens' playoffs are full of calls and non-calls exactly like that one. Now the Pens are in the Stanley Cup finals, and as Mike Brophy said, this is exactly what the league wanted.

How handy. Looking at the officiating in their games, it's really hard to avoid the feeling the league did more than wish the Pens were in the final.

How serious am I? I don't know. All I know is that I've been watching this year's playoffs, and the referees are just not calling the Pittsburgh games fairly. I don't know why that is, but let me recap a little history here.


After the 2004-05 NHL lockout, the first event of the restarted league was the 2005 NHL Entry Draft. Since Sidney Crosby had been tracked by scouts for years already, it was widely known that he'd be the first overall pick of the draft. It was referred to as the "Sidney Crosby Sweepstakes".

The drafting order at an NHL entry draft is determined by a weighted lottery. The four most favored teams to pick first were the Buffalo Sabres, Columbus Blue Jackets, New York Rangers and Pittsburgh Penguins. There was something unusual about this year's draft, though. Unlike a normal NHL draft, this one was held behind closed doors.

Everyone knows by now that the Penguins won the draft and selected Sidney Crosby. It was a beautiful Cinderella story; the young Canadian phenom comes to Pittsburgh, the former home of the previous great, Mario Lemieux. Sidney even moved in with the Lemieux household. Isn't is a wonderful story? Had Sidney gone to the Rangers or Sabers, let alone the Columbus Blue Jackets, it wouldn't have made nearly as epic a story.

Is it just coincidence that the draft was held behind closed doors, and the league got the perfect storybook ending? I honestly don't know.


Despite the beginning of what Canadian commentators were already calling the Sidney Crosby Era, the Pittsburgh franchise was never financially solid, and ran into increasing trouble in 2006. The franchise had already been rescued from bankruptcy once by the NHL, and they didn't want to step in another time. The owners, headed by Mario Lemieux, made preparations to sell the team. Canadian entrepreneur Jim Balsillie, who owns the company that makes BlackBerry, made a bid to buy the franchise.

There was a snag, though: it was widely suspected that Balsillie wanted to move the franchise to Canada. Canadian hockey bigots and others keep making noise about how there should be more NHL teams in Canada, because hockey belongs to Canada and those stupid Americans don't deserve NHL teams. Balsillie supports some variant of this thesis.

At the last minute, before the deal was finalized, the NHL stepped in and laid down a whole new set of conditions. The way the league is constituted, the NHL's board of governors has to approve certain transactions made by member teams, and this time they gave Balsillie a list of conditions under which he would be allowed to buy the team. It was noted at the time that the conditions went far beyond anything any other NHL team has ever agreed to. The objective seems to have been clear: stop Balsillie from relocating the Penguins.

The NHL succeeded: Balsillie walked away from the deal and the Pens stayed in Pittsburgh.

Was the NHL really operating honestly and making a calculated business decision? Or maybe, just maybe, the Sidney Crosby story wouldn't have been so perfect if his franchise had run into financial trouble and had to relocate? I also refer you to Mike Brophy's column, which I quoted at the top of this post. The league is especially keen to use Crosby to sell the sport in the US. Moving his team to Canada isn't going to help with that.

Coincidence? League marketing plan that goes beyond simple marketing? I don't know.


I'll recap:

* the NHL draft lottery in which he's selected is the only one to be conducted behind closed doors
* he happens to be drafted by a team that makes a great story
* the league uses extraordinary measures to prevent his team being relocated
* the referees are calling games unfairly on behalf of him and his team

Now, in Crosby's third season, the Pens are in the Stanley Cup finals. It all feels like such a great sports story; a young kid grows up playing hockey, is drafted by the Penguins, moves in with and is mentored by the previous great hockey superstar, and now he's leading his team to the Stanley Cup.

The problem is that by my age, you've already realized that all these great stories are told after the fact. Every epic tale is a selective telling, done years after the events. No real story is ever this neat.

With Crosby and the Penguins, it feels like a lot of effort has been put into making this story play out. And I no longer feel like I'm watching a sport; this all feels a little too much like pro wrestling to me.

Is there a conspiracy by the NHL to sell Crosby and the Penguins to the world, to the detriment of the sport? It's an awfully big and paranoiac claim to make, but I can't help but think about it. Because I'm not buying this fairy tale. The Cup finals really are just what the league ordered. The whole Crosby story is perfect for a league that's been decimated by the lockout and needs to get more viewers and fans into the stands.

Too perfect.

Don Cherry and the Eurovision Song Contest

Well, looks like the refs put their whistles in their pockets after the first period, and the game went to OT. I did catch the overtime, and I'll watch the whole game later today. For now, though:

One of the biggest reasons I'm so happy Russia won is the insufferable attitude Canadians have toward hockey. Every Saturday night the caricature that is Don Cherry screams at Canada about how hockey belongs to Canada and they're the best ever at it because they're Canadians, and no-one else should even be allowed to play hockey. He was recently very irate at a column in the Hockey News that dared to say hockey, as a game, doesn't belong to any nation, and dedicated the latter part of that week's Coach's Corner to screaming about it.

Now, Don blames the rules for Canada's loss. Namely, the two-minute penalty for delaying the game Rick Nash took in overtime. I'm sorry, there were nine goals scored in that game; Canada blew a two-goal lead to end up in overtime, took a stupid penalty there, and made a mistake on the PK that led to the goal. And according to the ineffable wisdom of Don Cherry, this all happened because of that one rule?

Not a hint of being a good loser, no analysis or commentary of the game, no sportsmanship, no nothing. You can bet your life if Canada had won he would've dedicated the entire Coach's Corner to shouting "CANADA!" at the top of his lungs. So up yours, Don Cherry.

Other things! The Eurovision Song Contest is this week. I'm shocked to learn the first semifinal is tomorrow. That means Teräsbetoni is on tomorrow...

My official prediction is that Finland will make it into the final, and get some points in the final, but come nowhere near victory. Frankly, the band and song chosen are beyond ridiculous. The only reason I'm predicting a finish this good is because there are so many stupid people in Europe who will vote for heavy metal.

Consequently, if there's a better heavy metal-ish song in Finland's semifinal, this prediction goes out of the window. I don't know who has what, as I've actively avoided spoiling the contest beforehand. I love the feeling of complete confusion and shock when the acts walk on stage and do whatever it is they do.

You can find the lyrics to Finland's song, as well as official translations, here. The lyrics speak to the nomadic warrior traditions of the Finnish people. We don't have any, but never mind that.

I think the English translation is lame and boring, and doesn't do nearly enough to capture the total suck of the original lyrics. Also, unforgivably, they don't rhyme! Here's the first verse, in Finnish and official English:

Olkoon myrsky sekä viima
ja tuvassa lämmin kamiina
On kunnia ja miehuullisuus
suorittaa velvollisuus

"Be there storms with winds of ire
And behind a warming fire
It’s the honour of manhood
To fulfil our ultimate duty"

Winds of ire? "Be there storms"? And how does manhood rhyme with duty? Who does the official translations, a computer? This is garbage!

Garbage in a way that's different from the way the original is garbage, that is. Here's my translation. The syllable scheme in the first verse seems to be 8-9-8-7, or in other words, irregular. So I went with "irregular".

Seriously though, the official translation displays many of the hallmarks of lazy, bad translating. Obviously, since they're rhyming lyrics, the translation should rhyme too. Mostly it does, but then in places it just doesn't. That's where the translator has simply given up. "It’s the honour of manhood / To fulfil our ultimate duty". Now you're being lazy.

Also, in places, he's changed the text. "Maybe warmth will leave a trace" and so forth. I realize it isn't easy to translate nonsense like this, but I intend to demonstrate that this is a question of attitude. It can be done!

I'm attempting to capture how stupid, lame, adolescent, barely grammatical and ridiculous the original lyrics are. In my opinion, a good translation needs to capture the essence of the original text. This is my attempt at the first verse and chorus:


Olkoon myrsky sekä viima
ja tuvassa lämmin kamiina
On kunnia ja miehuullisuus
suorittaa velvollisuus

Let there be storm and winds blow
In the house there is a warm stove
It is honourable and manly
To perform your duty

Maailma on kylmä vaikka
on ehkä lämmölläkin paikka
Kentät kutsuu sankareita
eikä suinkaan pelkureita

The world is cold although
A place for warmth may be found
The fields for heroes call
And not for cowards at all

Chorus:
Missä miehet ratsastaa
Siellä lampaat ei voi laiduntaa
Missä miehet ratsastaa
Siellä kuulee susien ulvontaa
Missä miehet, missä miehet ratsastaa
Missä miehet, missä miehet ratsastaa

There where men are riding
There cannot sheep be grazing
There where men are riding
There are wolves heard howling
There where men are riding...

Seriously, when that kid gets on stage to squeal those lyrics at Europe, I am going to be so ashamed. They're horrible, the song is horrible and the whole performance is so childish and stupid that it's even beneath the Eurovision Song Contest. And that's saying something.

Hockey this ain't

I've just stopped watching the Canada-Russia final. I've been consistently shocked by the refereeing at these world championships, but this is beyond horrible. They've called five penalties on Russia and not a single one on Canada. Canaian players have hooked and tripped the Russians from the first puck drop, and no calls have been made. Instead, the refs put a Russian player in the box for lifting his opponent's stick, calling it hooking. Seconds after the penalty expired the Canadian power play unit scores.

Next, Chris Kunitz scores the 2-1 goal in memorable fashion. Maxim Sushinsky has the puck at center ice. Eric Staal puts his stick into his skates and trips him. It's probably the most blatant infraction of the first period. No call is made; Chris Kunitz grabs the puck and scores on the breakaway. Eric Staal and the nearest ref should both get assists.

Russia is getting called when their players foul; occasionally even when they don't. Canada isn't. The refereeing has teetered between ridiculous and non-existent all through the tournament, but this is disgusting. When only one team gets called for fouls, it isn't a hockey game any more. I don't know what it is, but I'm sure as hell not watching it.

**

This is, overall, the most disgraceful international ice hockey tournament I've seen. Finnish ice hockey don Kalervo Kummola already complained the tournament was very badly arranged, and I can't help but agree. It looks like the ice quality has been horrible from the start, the way the puck is jumping around and the players can't stay on their skates. Nearly every game, at least in Halifax, has had to take a break because the plexiglass along the boards keeps falling out. We've seen fewer TV replays of penalties and other events than at any other world championships, and overall the amount of confusion and trouble has been exceptional.

The refereeing has been nothing short of incredible. In the Czech-Belarus game, a puck that was clearly kicked in was counted as a goal, which was somewhat eclipsed by the amazing decision to allow Ville Koistinen's goal that went in through the side of the goal. It should be noted that it shouldn't even be possible for the puck to go in through the side of the net in the first place; it's the linesmen's job to check the net, and it looks like they didn't.

The games have been consistently called differently for the two teams playing. Either the referees have called practically nothing, or they've used totally different standards for the two teams. This process is coming to a head now in the finals, where there are two totally different rulebooks for the two teams.

It's ridiculous that the IIHF will apparently let anyone referee international games. The two Swedish clowns wearing the stripes in the final are making a travesty of the IIHF's 100-year anniversary games.

Update: Lucky I watched the overtime!

More Naomi Klein

There's a Finnish web publication called vapaasana.net that seems to be mostly dedicated to republishing items from Johan Norberg's blog. I'll jump on the bandwagon!

Norberg has authored a briefing paper for the CATO Institute on Naomi Klein's infamous book The Shock Doctrine, which I lampooned earlier. Norberg's paper is here. It's readable in html and well worth it for a proper critique of the garbage that is Naomi Klein.

Klein's Shock Doctrine is a scary book on many levels. She gives a representation of history that is so deeply flawed that anyone with university level credits in history should be able to tell it's garbage. A number of her claims are so ridiculous it beggars belief she's actually written them and someone has agreed to publish them. Her summary of Milton Friedman's life and work is one of the most preposterous strawmen I've seen, and bears no relation to the man himself.

How is it possible, then, that this book is getting rave reviews all over the world? In this age of Wikipedia, it should be possible for everyone to check up on her claims and "facts" for themselves, and it should definitely be a duty of reviewers and commentators to have some idea of what they're talking about.

However, Klein is one of the anointed saints of our leftist counterculture. Apparently, that's all the credentials you need to talk about the economy. She's telling our "New Left" what they want to hear, and that's enough for them. Also, even in the age of information, reviewers and journalists are still dazzled by a seemingly coherent, rhetorially well presented argument, even when it's nonsense.

Look out for nonsense! It shouldn't be too much to ask for people to be critical of what they read. Naomi Klein is an ideologically motivated hack.

Finland beats Fonzie

After defeating Clark Kent's Germany, Finland went up against Team USA last night. The Americans were coached by Fonzie.

Above: Fonzie from Happy Days. Below: Coach John Tortorella.

Team USA beat their head against Finland's 1-2-2 trap for the entire game, and couldn't get any offense going. All their shots were long-range shots from either a very small angle or from the outside of the faceoff circles. Any NHL goaltender is going to stop shots like that every night.

The US offense was so weak it took serious blunders from the Finns for the game to go to overtime. The first US goal came when playing four-on-four, where Finnsih defensive coverage completely failed. The second goal was yet another hopeless small-angle shot, but Niklas Bäckström demonstrated his greatness by letting it in. There's no way a shot like that should get past a goalie, but somehow it did.

The better team won yesterday. It speaks volumes to the Fonz's coaching ability that Team USA played their worst game of the tournament when it counted the most. There were some ridiculously soft calls on the Americans, the low point being when Saku Koivu makes a diving play for the puck and the closest American player is called for tripping, and the Finns got away with a lot, but the US offense was so lousy that none of it mattered.

Another moment of shame: in a game where the refs were implementing the "IIHF rule" of calling more penalties on the team with the lower world ranking, i.e. letting Finnish D get away with obstruction penalties all the time, Antero Mertaranta went on and on about how the Americans are "diving". Most of the "dives" were taken with a Finnish stick jammed squarely in the "diving" player's skates. I can't tell if Mertaranta simply gets so carried away with calling the game that he talks faster than he thinks, or if he really is so bigoted that he assumes Finnish players can't possibly be tripping opponents.

Nevertheless, some things remain constant. The Finnish D makes hideous blunders with the puck in their own zone, something the Americans were unable to capitalize on. Now that the games are getting bigger, Bäckström's goaltending is going from bad to worse. In the Canada game and yesterday's quarterfinal, Bäckström allowed a goal on something like two out of three reasonable scoring chances. He stops low-angle shots and other easy shots, and to Mertaranta and the YLE studio team, that makes him a hero. The fact of the matter is that in the past two games he's been horrible. There's no way the quarterfinal should have gone to overtime; Bäckström is the only reason it did.

Of course, according to the Finnish media, he was great.

"YLE: Suomen maalilla jälleen hyvän ottelun torjunut Niklas Bäckström..."

Jatkoaika: "Tasoitusmaali olisi saattanut olla otettavissa, mutta muutoin 22 kertaa torjunut leijonavahti Niklas Bäckström torjui varmaotteisen iltapuhteen."

"Ehkä otettavissa"...

Bäckström himself blames his defencemen for the goals he let in against Canada. That shows you the calibre of sportsman he is. Out of the six goals Canada scored, at least four are squarely his mistakes. A goaltender can't allow goals like that, and like the US tying goal yesterday.

Next up: Russia. If Bäckström still can't stop the puck on a real scoring chance, as he probably can't, Finland's only hope is that their trap will hold up against the Russian offense. If it does, the Russians will likely get frustrated and their game will be shot to hell. If they don't get frustrated and make it past the trap, Finland will lose.

I could say something about the fact that Finnish commentators moan and whine and complain incessantly when other countries trap against Finland, saying it isn't hokey and those countries shouldn't even be allowed to play there. Mertaranta himself told us the Norwegian team doesn't even play hockey, they just trap. So does Finland. But of course, when Finland does it, it's great hockey.

Sport very often brings out the worst characteristics of people. Tomorrow Finland's non-hockey takes on Team Russia. Last year, Finland beat Russia in the quarterfinals, but then we had a real goalie. I anticipate the Russians will kick our ass.

Here's some Russians:

Team Canada and Yoko Matsugane

First off, a note to commentators on Finland for Thought. Those are actually real:

I know this because my dear girlfriend got me one of her "idol" DVDs for my birthday, and as near as I can tell, they're not fake tits.

On the topic, I don't understand this predilection with "real" boobs. Sure, if someone has truly hideous silicone breasts, they're going to look ugly, but I don't see what the huge point is. If someone has really good-looking fake tits, what's wrong with them?

The values we attach to aesthetic things are sometimes totally absurd. The reason I'm saying this is that someone made a dismissive comment about Yoko's boobs being fake on Finland for Thought, and I really just don't get it. These days there's a prejudice against silicon tits, which, as far as I can tell, has come out of nowhere. Back in the days when Baywatch was big, Pam Anderson was a sex symbol, and no-one gave a damn about her having fake tits. Now it's suddenly an automatic disqualifier from being hot to have fake boobs. Where did this come from?

Also, there's the funny knee-jerk reaction when people see a woman with large breasts and immediately shout "fake!".

Basically, because it's supposedly so important whether someone's breasts are "real" or not, I bet if someone did a study where they showed straight men pictures of women's boobs, they'd think the same pair of tits was hotter if they were told they were real, and would think they were less hot if told they're fake. That's really just stupid.

Here's some horrible, unnatural silicone breasts. Avert your eyes from Tera Patrick:

On to hockey. Niklas Bäckström! It's strange, watching the Finland-Canada game on YLE I couldn't hear a single person make even a mildly critical comment on Team Finland's goaltending. The fact of the matter is, Bäckström was garbage in goal today. With proper goaltending, the game might have been close; with Bäckström letting in every third shot in the first two periods, it never was.

Bäckström finished with a 72% save percentage. This was really the first big game of the tournament, and as usual, Bäckström blew it.

Let's recap Niklas Bäckström's career on Team Finland.

2005: in goal at the World Championships. Completely falls apart in the deciding quarterfinal game against Russia. The game would never have gone to overtime without Team Russia having a freak day. Their goaltender let in his share of easy goals, and a Russian defenceman scored an own goal. The game was tied at the end of overtime, so it went to penalty shots. Bäckström couldn't make a single save.

2006: third goaltender in both world champs and Olympics. Didn't play.

2007: didn't play.

With this stellar record behind him, I wasn't exactly surprised when Bäckström fell apart in last night's game. The only goal he doesn't have to take any of the blame on is the freak one that went off a stick, a helmet and the crossbar. Frankly, a competent goaltender should have had at least half of the other goals. Team Finland didn't play well enough to win, but Bäckström never even gave them a chance.

That's two big international games and two disastrous performances. Why is Niklas Bäckström the only goaltender playing for Finland? Why didn't Karri Rämö even get a shot? I've said it before; Bäckström is a positional goalie whose lateral movement and rebound control are absolutely subpar. The only reason he succeeds in the NHL is the effective defensive trap Minnesota plays. On his off days, even his positional goaltending doesn't work, like today.

So far in the tournament, Antti Pihlström and Mikko Koivu have been Finland's best players. Pihlström got some time on the number two line today, but was quickly bumped in favor of Jussi Jokinen. Why? Without Pihlström, Finland would have been totally humiliated today. Jussi Jokinen, as always, contributes absolutely nothing to any line he's on. Pihlström deserves a lot more playing time than he's been getting.

It's also astonishing how the number one line and power play have disappeared. Teemu Selänne and Saku Koivu are playing far worse than they should, and so far Ville Peltonen hasn't shown anything that justifies his huge share of playing minutes. Today he played 17 minutes, for a net result of one shot on goal and -2.

What will happen in the quarterfinals? I have my guess, but seriously, with John Tortorella at the helm and Team USA playing the way they are, the quarterfinal game could go either way. This one is a really tough game to bet on, because so much will depend on which team comes out with the better attitude and wants the win more. Bäckström's second shot at an elimination game on Team Finland is coming up. If it goes as well as the previous one, Finland's out of the tournament.

I am rooting for Norway/Latvia to beat Canada, though. That would be far too sweet.

Hundreth post

It is, actually. This blog has grown further than I thought.

On a day like this, I have to talk about sports. First, yesterday's Turkish GP.

First of all, Felipe Massa will never win the drivers' championship. The way he just let Lewis Hamilton pass him was unbelievable. It still remains my opinion that Massa is the wrong driver for Ferrari. They need either someone who can challenge Kimi for the title, or someone who can help him to another one. If Massa hadn't just let Hamilton dash past him, Kimi might well have finished second as the margin by which Hamilton got in front of him after his last pit was so small. It's typical of Massa to not care and only drive for the win. This, together with the fact that he's consistently shown himself to be incapable of taking the heat, means the sooner Ferrari can jettison him, the better. I dream of Nico Rosberg driving a Ferrari.

Yesterday's first sports jaw-dropper was the McLaren tyre strategy. What was going on? Later they explained that Hamilton had to use a three-stop strategy because his driving style chews up the tires so badly. Bridgestone points out Hamilton is the only driver in F1 "with this problem", i.e. the only one who doesn't know how to drive without destroying his tires. It puts the wipeout in last year's Chinese GP into clearer light.

That being said, it's hard not to think McLaren deliberately ruined Heikki Kovalainen's race. I know that doesn't make any sense, but I can't think of any other explanation for his race strategy. Let's recap. Right after the start, Kovalainen collides with Räikkönen, and Kimi's front wing punctures Heikki's tire. He comes in for a pit stop, the car isn't refueled, and he's given a new set of prime tyres. Heikki drives a stint that lasts for half the race, comes in for fuel, and is given a new set of prime tyres and enough fuel to last the rest of the race. However, he's going to have to pit again because he still hasn't used the alternate tyres.

What is going on? For a while before his third pit, I actually thought Heikki was going to finish the race without using the alternate tire. I've seen enough F1 to not be able to put that past McLaren. As it seems Heikki wasn't suffering from rampant tyre destruction like Hamilton, I don't see why he couldn't have driven a long stint on the alternate tyres. Couldn't he at least have tried? For once, I agree with Oskari Saari, who says in a column on mtv3.fi that McLaren could at least have tried to get points; now they played it safe and went for 12th place.

First Heikki's chances of winning were ruined by a puncture; then his chances of getting points were ruined by a lunatic strategy. I'm not a Heikki Kovalainen fan, but the guy got screwed.

I'm not really an Oskari Saari fan either, and he regaled us with more of his endless loyalty to McLaren. Before the Grand Prix, Ilta-Sanomat wrote about what, in my opinion, any discerning person can tell anyway: Heikki Kovalainen is McLaren's number two driver. They drew attention to the fact that after Heikki finished above Hamilton in qualifying, he was again given a much heavier car, so that Hamilton got to start on the clean side fo the trak with a lighter car.

I don't know if that's exactly clinching evidence that Heikki is their number-two driver, but on the other hand, I don't understand how anyone can seriously believe McLaren is ever going to treat another driver equally with Lewis Hamilton. He's their superstar, whose career Ron Dennis has nurtured for years. How can anyone think that he'll get the same treatment as a Finnish driver they've signed on as a free agent? Come on.

Nevertheless, Kimi still leads the drivers' championship, and Ferrari leads the constructors'. So all is well.


Then some hockey. Back when Jarkko Ruutu hit Jaromir Jagr at the Olympics, some fool at jatkoaika.com wrote a column about how Rudi makes him "ashamed to be Finnish". I think that's ridiculous, but I watched yesterday's Finland-USA game, and now I'm more than a little ashamed.

First and foremost, Ville Koistinen's goal. There is no way that was a goal. It's unbelievable that it was allowed in the first place, and totally unacceptable it was allowed after a video review. The IIHF has confirmed that it was a bad call, and the video referee who made it has been fired.

That doesn't really help right now, though. It was a huge goal because it turned the momentum of the game. That call was about a lot more than just allowing or disallowing one goal; it could be argued it turned the whole game around. And it was a goal that should never have been allowed.

To make things worse, the refs sealed the deal by calling an unbelievable spearing penalty on Adam Burish. He tapped Niko Kapanen with the butt-end of his stick. From the IIHF rule book:

“Butt-ending” identifies the act of a player who uses the shaft of the stick above the upper hand to check an opposing player.

If what Burish did is checking your opponent, I'm writing this blog post by checking my keyboard. That was a completely ridiculous call, especially since it meant that Team USA had to play short-handed for the rest of the game, effectively destroying their chances of tying the game.

Antero Mertaranta, and others in Finland, cried a river about Olli Jokinen's match penalty. Watch the check on YouTube here. There's no two ways about it: that's a check from behind. When the player being checked is injured on a check from behind, the IIHF rulebook only leaves referees with one alternative:

b) A player who injures an opponent as a result of checking from behind shall be assessed, a:
➤ Match penalty

It was the right call. And it doesn't compare in the slightest with Dustin Brown's supposed "hit to the head" at the end of the game. Brown is coming in to hit Jokinen, who ducks to take another check. This is why Brown hits him high. To call that a dirty hit is beyond ridiculous.

The only reason so much noise is being made about it and the Jokinen penalty is because the refs so blatantly gave the game to the Finnish team, and Finnish people can't take it without having some example of how their opponents were horribly evil and the refs screwed them, too. It's classic nationalist myth-building, and it's totally false.


Yesterday was a landmark day. I've never seen the kind of officiating in a hockey game that I saw yesterday, and I've never seen the kind of F1 pit strategy lunacy that I saw at the Turkish GP. It was a crazy day. Finland-Canada is up today, and I don't even dare to begin to think what's going to happen there. Instead, I'll think about Yoko Matsugane.

Happy birthday!

Today is my birthday, and also Holly Valance's birthday, so happy birthday to us! Since no-one is going to want to look at pictures of me, here's some pictures of Holly Valance instead.

Holly is a Serbian-British Australian currently residing in California. She was hot in the Dead or Alive movie, where she played Christie.

According to LaVeyan Satanism, a person's birthday should be the most important holiday of the year for them. In this spirit, I'll spend my birthday exactly the way I want to: watching the Turkish GP and the Finland-USA game.

Speaking of F1, Lewis Hamilton decided to give me an early birthday present, so thank you!

I have high hopes for Kimi winning in Turkey, but less hope for Finland against USA. Tonight should be the time when the crucial weaknesses of the Finnish team come together. Bäckström has been giving up huge rebounds on nearly every shot, and the Finnish D keeps taking stupid penalties, making turnovers and giving up odd-man rushes. They're going to have to work miracles to keep the US from scoring four or more goals, and Bäckström is exactly the wrong kind of goaltender to work those miracles. As much as I'd like Teemu to win world champs gold, I don't see it happening.

In closing, I hope Holly Valance has a happy birthday too, along with everyone else whose birthday it is today!

Internet racism

I posted earlier about "internet racism" being a supposed threat to everydy security in this country. I've also earlier defended the right to post on the Internet and the right to freedom of speech.

I now, however, feel it necessary to make perfectly clear that I myself don't condone or accept racism in any of its forms. In my opinion there is a large and growing amount of racist Finnish-language material on the Internet and I'm deeply worried about it.

My lengthier post on the topic, in Finnish, is here.

Sore thumb

My left thumb is sore from too much XBox 360, so I'm online doing research for some fiction I'm working on. I ran across a brilliant website: www.dream-ware.net. Go there for MIDI versions of the music from David Braben's Elite and Elite 2: Frontier, as well as a TrueType Elite font. Lovely. If I could write this blog in that font, I just might...

Elite 2: Frontier is now available as shareware. I can almost get it to run on DOSBox, so technically it should be possible. I'm happy enough to be able to listen to the theme.

I don't know when Lilly Goga's birthday is, so here's a picture of her for no reason.

Update: download a program with the entire Elite 2: Frontier starmap here.

Dominika Cibulková, small hockey countries and Swedish success

Today is Slovak tennis player Dominika Cibulková's birthday; happy birthday Dominika!

She's hot. I watched her beat Venus Williams at this year's Qatar tournament, and was impressed. In honor of her birthday, I'm decorating this post with pictures of her.

As it happens, today is also Martin Brodeur's birthday.

Brodeur is one of the greatest goaltenders in the history of hockey, and gives me a splendid segue from Dominika to the ice hockey world championships.

Yesterday was a great day for international hockey! Finland's game against Norway was one of those games that Finnish players and broadcasters complain unendingly about. Every spring when the world champs roll around Finnish commentators come out in droves to complain about Finland having to play against these stupid little countries like Slovenia, Italy or France. Ville Nieminen, who in the normal ourse of things I'm a big fan of, said it very bluntly in the Austrian world champs a few years back, specificcally about Slovenia: "These kinds of countries shouldn't be allowed into the world championships."

Finnish speakers can read Juha Hiitelä's column on jatkoaika.com on Saku Koivu and Teemu Selänne saying similarly idiotic things about Slovenia at the 2003 World Championships in Finland. I agree 100% with what he says.

Like I said, every spring in Finland the airwaves are full of talking heads who demand the number of teams at the world championships be reduced and these ridiculous little countries be barred from the championships. Every May, Finnish hockey pundits and players become so aloof from the rest of the world that they think it's beyond their dignity to play against a country like Slovenia.

The sheer arrogance and idiocy behind these comments is unbelievable. Let's think back to the 1980's, shall we? This was the decade when Finland was being destroyed by margins of well over 10 goals in practically all its games against the big hockey countries. Finland didn't stand a chance against teams like the USSR or Czechoslovakia. Did Soviet and Czech players go on TV and demand that they not have to demean themselves by playing against ridiculous little countries that they can beat 10-0 on an off day? When Finland was humiliated 6-0 at the Salt Lake City Olympics by Team USA, did they demand countries like Finland be excluded from the Olympics? Hmm.

Of course they didn't. Ville Nieminen and Teemu Selänne are Stanley Cup winners; Saku Koivu won a World Championship gold medal at Stockholm in 1995. Over the last couple of years, they and a load of others have been appallingly arrogant in their attitude toward smaller hockey countries. I wish some, any, of them would realize that Finland was a small hockey country that didn't stand a chance in the World Championships not 20 years ago. Most importantly:

If big hockey countries had taken the attitude Finns have now in the 1980's, there would have been no Finnish gold medal of 1995. Why? Because Finland, as a ridiculous little country proper hockey-playing nations shouldn't have to bother with, would never have been allowed into the ice hockey world championships. Without Finland being represented at the highest level, would players like Ville Nieminen and Teemu Selänne have gotten a crack at the NHL at all?

Is that really how you want to run international hockey? Hockey is in many ways an elitist sport, and like all sports, it so often brings out the worst in people, from the downright racism of Don Cherry to the arrogant elitism of Finnish hockey.

Part of the unbearably arrogant attitude of Finnish media toward the smaller countries is their insistence that they somehow play a sub-par, "not cricket" form of bad hockey. In yesterday's Finland-Norway game, Antero Mertaranta several times insisted that Norway isn't playing, it's just breaking up the play with its defensive trap. In the intermission studio, Tapio Suominen kept up the insistence that Norway is playing a horrible neutral zone trap.

Here's a piece of news for anyone watching Finnish hockey: the Finnish national team plays a neutral zone trap. Finland and Norway both played a very similar style of game. Neither played a pure 0-1-4 trap; the irony of the thing is that while Tapsa Suominen and Mertaranta yammer on and on about the horrible Norwegian trap, they showed replays of the game where you could very plainly see that both teams were playing the exactly same 1-2-2 defensive game. Finland has played a neutral zone trap through the whole 2000's. The only big difference between Finland and Norway is the quality of the players. Mertaranta's idea that Finland plays proper ice hockey and Norway only tries to shut down play completely is totally false.

In addition to being lampooned in the media, the small countries also have to put up with some unbearable refereeing. I know I'm complaining about this a lot nowadays, but I can't not do it.

I've happened to catch both of Sweden's initial games at the world champs. On Saturday, they beat Belarus 6-5, and yesterday they thrashed France 9-0. The game with France was 1-0 for Sweden at the halfway point, the first goal coming at 28 minutes and something. Sweden played very badly and France actually controlled much of the game. The game was mostly swung by the referees. Sweden was assessed 7 minor penalties while France was given 11 and a ten-minute misconduct. Was that a fair distribution? Hell no. A typical situation in the second period: a French player takes the puck into the Swedish zone and is tripped by a Swedish defenseman. No call. On the Swedish counter-attack, a hooking penalty is called on the French. There were two of us watching the game, and neither of us could see a hook.

All through the tournament, the refs have constantly called more penalties on the weaker team, regardless of what happens on the ice. The Sweden-Belarus game was a total joke because of the refereeing. In a game where Sweden committed way more fouls than the opposition, both teams were assessed precisely 8 penalty minutes. The game was very tight, and the refs refusing to call obstruction and roughing penalties on the Swedes swung it.

The most blatant example was in the third period; Fredrik Warg skates into the Belarus zone. The play is offside, and just as it's called he gets checked by a Belarus defenceman. Warg gives him a two-handed slash that smashes his stick right in front of the referee. No call. On the next shift, Warg sets up Sweden's tying goal. The Swedes constantly punched, held, hooked and tripped the Belarus players, and no penalties were called. I maintain that Belarus would have won the game if the refs had called it fairly. Of course, they didn't.

So far, in every "unequal" game between a big eight country and a "smaller" country, the refs have let the big eight team get away with fouls constantly. Finland's game against Germany saw blatant fouls by Finnish defencemen go uncalled all through the game. France was constantly given soft penalties on stick fouls that the refs wouldn't dream of calling against Sweden.

If anyone wants to make a computer hockey game, based on this year's world champs I suggest the following rule:

The refs will be twice as likely to call a penalty on a foul if the foul is committed by a player on a team whose IIHF World Ranking is lower than their opponent's.

Try keeping that rule in mind and watching a game like France-Sweden. It's scary how well it works.

Finally, some sad news from Formula One: Super Aguri have withdrawn from the season.

Of course, they've been having a horrible season, and what with their financial difficulties throughout the short life of the team, this isn't exactly a surprising announcement. Nonetheless, we'll miss them. I fondly remember the party we saw going on at the Aguri pit when they scored their first points as a team. Also, we need to pay due homage to Takuma Sato. Who can forget his brilliant tire strategy at the 2007 Canadian Grand Prix? As the alternate tire was clearly inferior on the track, but F1 rules demand that both the alternate and prime tire be used, Takuma pitted during a safety car, drove one lap on the alternate tires and pitted again, changing to prime. His tire strategy and all-around brilliant driving in that GP enabled him to pass Fernando Alonso on the track and finish an excellent sixth.

Takuma, we'll miss you.