Dec 31, 2008

"New year"

Happy new year to those of you still stuck with a permutation of the Roman calendar! This blog is in sore need of some hot chicks, so here's some Rhona Mitra.


I recall first noticing her in Beowulf, hardly surprising considering she spent the movie in an outfit like this:

Sadly, the movie was rubbish. Then she was a hot naked chick in Hollow Man, which was rubbish too. But she is hot.

By my count, this is the 251st and last blog post of 2008. I should try to push for Blogger to allow custom calendars; I'd be a lot happier if I could divide up my past posts into years AS instead of "AD". But Blogger being what it is, you'll have to join me for more in 2009.

Obama and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict

Barack Obama speaks! (New York Times)
WASHINGTON — When President-elect Barack Obama went to Israel in July — to the very town, in fact, whose repeated shelling culminated in this weekend’s new fighting in Gaza — he all but endorsed the punishing Israeli attacks now unfolding.

“If somebody was sending rockets into my house, where my two daughters sleep at night, I’m going to do everything in my power to stop that,” he told reporters in Sderot, a small city on the edge of Gaza that has been hit repeatedly by rocket fire. “And I would expect Israelis to do the same thing.”

Actually, this lets me put my opposition to the Israeli air strikes in the simplest terms possible. That's a good quote:

"If somebody was sending rockets into my house, where my two daughters sleep at night, I'm going to do everything in my power to stop that."

How many Palestinian fathers are saying that right now?

Operation Cast Lead

Over the New Year, Israel has been at it again. After Hamas ended the ceasefire with Israel, Israel has launched a series of air attacks on the Gaza strip. So far, they've killed hundreds and injured over a thousand people.


From a purely military point of view, the Israeli counter-attack is totally out of scale to anything Hamas has done. The rocket attacks don't in any way justify blockading and bombing the entire Gaza strip, killing hundreds and injuring well over a thousand. Israel's policy of massive retaliation is apparently well calculated to win votes, but scarcely well thought out to achieve anything else.


Politically speaking, the only thing Israel is achieving with its massive air attacks is confirming yet another generation of Palestinians in their belief that Israel is their implacable enemy. It's one of the great ironies of the conflict that Israeli spokespersons rant and rave about how these horrible terrorists are attacking them and denying their right to exist, while their government goes about implementing policies that make sure the terrorists will continue doing exactly that.


To anyone who defends Israel's actions, I have a very simple question. They've been pursuing this policy of massive retaliation ever since the foundation of Israel. What's the track record so far in ending terrorism and making Israel safe? How's it been working out for you?

It would be illuminating for many people who hold deep-set opinions on this conflict to actually learn about it. An excellent place to start would be Avi Shlaim's book, The Iron Wall: Israel and the Arab World. Shlaim documents the history of Israel's policy of retaliation and the quite frank commitment of many Israeli leaders to maintaining constant conflict with the Arab world as a means of ensuring Israeli political unity. It also makes clear the lengths to which Israel has gone to achieve this. After learning about some of the atrocities Israel has committed, it becomes a heck of a lot more difficult to view Israel as the "good guys" in any situation.

There will never be peace in the Middle East as long as Israel continues its destructive "iron wall" politics of sustained conflict with the Arab world. Unfortunately it doesn't look like they're going to stop any time soon.

Dec 30, 2008

An hero

New York Times: The Trolls Among Us

Seriously though, the Internet can kill you. Here's how:


* Wikipedia: Suicide of Megan Meier
Megan Taylor Meier (November 6, 1992 – October 17, 2006) was an American teenager from Dardenne Prairie, Missouri who committed suicide in October 2006. Her suicide was attributed to cyber-bullying through the social networking website MySpace. The account through which the bullying took place purportedly belonged to a 16-year-old male named "Josh Evans." However, it was actually created by an 18-year-old employee of Lori Drew, the mother of a former friend of Meier. Several people contributed to running the faked account, including Drew.

Witnesses testified that the women intended to use Meier’s e-mails with "Josh" to get information about her and later humiliate her, in retribution for her allegedly spreading gossip about Drew's daughter.


* Times: Horror as teenager commits suicide live online

* Wikipedia: Brandon Vedas

"I told u I was hardcore"

* BBC: Japan's internet 'suicide clubs'

* Wikipedia: Shawn Woolley, who killed himself because of EverQuest

* Sharon Lopatka, who hired a man to kill her on the Internet

And finally:

* Lee Seung Seop, the man who died because of Starcraft.

**

A point? Not really. I'm just fascinated by death.

Dec 29, 2008

Religion by definition

If you've ever seen or heard any creationist garbage, you may have come across the idea that there are six kinds of evolution:

(a Chick tract)

Of course, they're making this up. If a college professor actually writes these six kinds of evolution onto a blackboard for any reason other than to debunk this ridiculous idea, then either he's incompetent or you're in bible college. In the latter case you might want to consider hitting your head into a wall instead of attending class; it has the same overall effect of making you stupider, but it's cheaper and less trouble, assuming there's a wall in your house. Learn at home!

The first four "basic concepts of evolution" have absolutely nothing to do with the theory of evolution. The fact that astronomers call the birth of stars and planets "evolution" doesn't mean it has something to do with the theory of evolution regarding natural selection and so forth. Neither do such matters of cosmology as the Big Bang or nucleosynthesis, which is what I presume "chemical evolution" means.

Of course, the idea that something like the creation of heavier elements is based on faith is preposterous. It's based on physics. That's a science, not a faith. Similarly, theories on the birth of the solar system or even the universe are not being put forward by scientists as pieces of religious dogma or theological armchair theoretizing; they're scientific theories which are rigorously examined, tested and often falsified. To a creationist, the fact that some theories are falsified means all theories are false; to a sensible person, that means the theories that are not falsified are likely to be true.

Cosmologists didn't invent the Big Bang because they wanted a piece of religious dogma; the theory was put forward because it explains several observable phenomena. If you look at some of the incredibly silly problems creationists run into, you'll easily notice that so-called creationist "theories" come about in exactly the opposite way: first the theory is invented, and then the facts are fitted into it.

When the kook in the Chick tract says that the "first five kinds" are accepted on faith only and there's no evidence for them, he's quite simply lying. If the class really agrees with him on that, again, either they're amazingly dense or it really is a bible college.

But on to evolution qua evolution. The last two kinds of evolution, "macro" and "micro" are not diferent kinds of evolution as such. The difference between them is solely one of definition. Where does a species begin and end? It's a matter of definition. One of the unspoken assumptions of creationism is that all living things divide irrevocably and obviously into different species. They don't. The creationist assumption that they do has created the incredible pseudo-science of "baraminology", the attempt to divide all living things into eternal, immutable baramins. The attempt is ridiculous.

Furthermore, the theory of evolution is simply a mechanism that describes how living creatures evolve. Denying that they evolve is pointless; even creationists have to admit that. That's the reason for the division between "microevolution" and "macroevolution", of which the latter is properly called speciation. Even a trip to the Wikipedia page points out that speciation has been observed several times, and really, anyone should know that. The fact that creationists constantly claim the opposite is only proof of their level of intellectual honesty.

To reiterate, macroevolution is simply the end result of enough microevolution. Any divide between the two is totally arbitrary, and is being made only to rescue the creationist criticism of evolution.

**

The debate on evolution is a classical example of the argument by definition. The creationists can't deny the evidence behind the theory of evolution, so they circumvent the problem by redefining evolution. The most malicious attempt of this kind is the "fourth kind of evolution", "life from rocks". The birth of life is called abiogenesis, and once again, has absolutely nothing to do with the theory of evolution. As far as I know, science still hs very little idea of how abiogenesis happened, but as I'm writing this blog entry and you're reading it, it obviously did.

Looking at two of the things Jack Chick, or whoever it is who actually writes those things these days, calls "kinds of evolution" is actually instructive. For most of the 20th century, the vast majority of Christians had absolutely no problem with the theory of evolution, and they still don't in the 21st. When the Big Bang theory gained popularity, again, the great majority of Christians had absolutely no problem with it. Yes, it contradicts a literal reading of Genesis. But then again, Genesis contains two separate creation stories that contradict each other, so it's really hard to see that as a problem. Most Christians never did.

The great majority of Christians were content to accept that the universe was born in the Big Bang, and life somehow came about on Earth a fairly long time afterward. If you want to believe in divne agency, then maybe you believe God was behind the Big Bang, and God created life on Earth. Science currently holds that we can't know what, if anything, happened before the Big Bang, or even if the question is meaningful. We also don't know how life came about. The science is basically compatible with the belief that a divine something set it all in motion; the old idea of God as the original cause of all causality.

Only a small lunatic fringe of Christians ever believed that the Earth is literally 6,000 years (or whatever it is these days) old and the Universe was created "as is" by an old man sitting on a cloud (which, incidentally, is how Chick tracts portray him). The idea that the Earth is only a few thousands of years old obviously doesn't co-operate with anything we know about geology, paleontology or the world in general, and the thesis leads to this kind of madness:

click here to find out! (don't)

That is one of the most batshit crazy Chick tracts ever, only equalled in my mind by the one where Jesus kills a kid who prays for him and this is a good thing. It belongs to the school of creationist thought that is quite happy to ignore all evidence to the contrary when they've decided to believe in something, as religious people will often do. It's just that they rarely do it to that extent.

The more mundane creationists try to prove their point by using the argument by definition outlined above. It's blindingly simple: either define your point of view in such a way that makes it logically inevitable, or define your opponent's point of view as indefensible.

**

The argument was deployed in this blog when I quoted documents saying that humanity cannot be divided into races. I was opposed by a whole bunch of people; most of them degenerated to name-calling and abuse very quickly, but one particularly enterprising person decided to redefine race as "the existence of genetic variation in humanity". He then accused me of claiming humans don't have genetic variation.

This is obviously a lunatic proposition. If genetic variation inside humanity didn't exist, we'd all be identical because we'd have the exact same genes. No sane person would argue that we are. The only argument my challenger had to make ended up being a redefinition of race.

I don't know if I'm just imagining it, but it seems to me that this argument is becoming more and more popular. In the case of the race argument, it seems to stem from an attempt to make a politically controversial pseudo-scientific belief seem like the obvious truth. In my opinion this is because to a racist, it is plainly obvious that humanity is divided into different races, which have different characteristics. To someone like Mikko Ellilä, the idea that races exist is so obvious that he doesn't even bother to argue for it; he simply assumes that all African people share an African "biological racial nature" that defines their personality and behaviour.

If you question this as absurd and unproven, they really have nothing to fall back on because the existence of races is an implicit assumption to a racist. That's why they fall back on redefining the concept of race to mean something no sane person could argue against. I was totally puzzled by the fact that people quoted studies at me that didn't, in any way, prove the existence of a race. How is the fact that a certain gene is more prevalent in people living in Africa somehow proof that Africans constitute a distinct race? It isn't, unless you believe a priori that they do.

**

The argument by definition is, though, most commonly used to advance religion(s). I took an introductory course in Comparative Religion at the University of Helsinki several years ago, and the textbook contained the claim that all people throughout history have always been religious. I don't exactly believe that, as I'm a LaVeyan Satanist and am therefore more or less by definition not religious. At face value, their definition would make me not human.

Of course, this depends rather heavily on how you define "religion". If I remember correctly, the definition given in the textbook was that anyone who believes in anything supernatural at all is religious. Given that comparative religion, by definition, compares religions as specific sets of beliefs, simply stating that everyone who believes in anything is religious seems illogical.

The Wikipedia definition is somewhat more specific.

A religion is a of way of life based on tenets (or a belief system) about the ultimate power. It is generally expressed through conducts such as prayers, rituals, or other practices, often centered upon specific supernatural and moral claims about reality (the cosmos, and human nature) which may yield a set of religious laws. Religion also encompasses ancestral or cultural traditions, writings, history, and mythology, as well as personal faith and religious experience.

For that definition of religion, not everyone seems to be religious after all. If your way of life is not based on tenets of the supernatural, you're not religious. That seems like a more commonsense definition.

It's also easy to see why it won't do for religious people. At this point it should be pointed out that Comparative Religion classes at the University of Helsinki are run by the Faculty of Theology, and are a mandatory class for theology majors. They greatly outnumber the few Faculty of Arts students in attendance, and the class is geared toward them. Theology majors at Helsinki mostly become priests or religion reachers. For them, it's useful to argue that all people are, in fact, religious; then all atheists are lying.

Do you think I'm exaggerating? When I went to high school in Finland, our religion and philosophy teacher taught us that atheism means a positive denial that any kind of god can ever exist, while agnosticism means that one is unsure of whether God exists or not. The point was very strongly made that atheism is a religious or quasi-religious view as well, and that agnosticism is somehow more rational.

Logically speaking, this is unadulterated bullshit. Atheism has, traditionally, meant disbelief in the existence of a god or gods (wikipedia).

Hilariously, Conservapedia claims that "Charles Bradlaugh, in 1876, proposed that atheism does not assert "there is no God," and by doing so he diluted the traditional definition of atheism. Since 1979, many atheists have followed Bradlaugh's thinking further and said that atheism is merely a lack of belief in any god. The motive for such a shift in meaning appears to be to an attempt to shift the burden of proof regarding the existence of God to the theism side."

Even a brief reference to the Wikipedia article on atheism, which, unlike Conservapedia (the Trustworthy Encyclopedia!) has actual sources, will quickly show that the Conservapedia claim is laughable. However, it is significant, because it isn't just blatantly false; it is, in fact, more or less the exact opposite of the truth.

The idea of the burden of proof is that anyone making a positive claim will need to cough up some kind of evidence. If you say there's a giant, fire-breathing dragon in your garage, no-one will believe you unless they see it or get some kind of compelling, verifiable evidence that it's there. That's common sense.

Theists of all shades, however, insist that imaginary fairytale creatures like gods exist. Logically speaking, it's abundantly clear that we shouldn't believe anything they say without some kind of proof. So "God" is a guy who created the universe 6,000 years ago and gave a certan nomadic people stone tablets with his law on them, divinely inspired a series of texts for them, and later sent his son, who is actually both his son and him, to Earth to be killed for an obscure reason? This is a very, very specific claim. Funnily enough, it comes with no proof at all. Absolutely nothing about the Christian Bible can convince a skeptic that it was somehow divinely inspired or contains "great truths" about life and the universe. There is no evidence to back up anything that Christianity claims about the universe.

Any rational person must, if they think logically, disbelieve the Christian account of the universe until some kind of proof for it shows up. There's no reason to believe it. Not only is it not backed by evidence, but it actively contradicts science and is diametrically opposed to the worldviews of practically all other religions. Why believe the Christian story? The Hindu religion also claims to know the nature and history of the Universe. Why not believe the Hindu story instead? Neither is backed up by logic or evidence, so they appear equal to a disinterested observer.

The only way a Christian can rescue themsleves from the burden of proof is by definition. If atheism can be defined as making a positive claim, then it can be argued that the burden of proof is on atheists. Further, this allows people like my (Christian) high school teacher to define atheism as "irrational" and "faith-based", discrediting it. The basic argument Christians try to advance by claiming that atheists "can't prove" God doesn't exist is that atheism is no more rational than religion. This is a monstrous lie.

As a completely unnecessary aside, some readers may want to remind themselves of the argument from ignorance. I'll also be returning to the subject of agnosticism later.

**

The point of this whole rambling post is to posit that the argument by definition is becoming a more common fallacy these days. For example:

All people are inherently religious. Therefore, atheists are not really atheists.

First, define people as religious; then apply the definition to atheists, and find that either atheists are not people or they are lying. Similarly, as some people did on this blog, assert that "race" means "the existence of biological diversity inside homo sapiens", and therefore humanity can be divided into distinct races.

In both cases, the definition is absurd, and the entire argument is fallacious because of it. But the whole form of the argument is often questionable. For some reason, it appeals to people to treat definitions of words as literal, logical truths; therefore for many people appealing to a definition is something like as conclusive as scripture for believers.

Often the argument becomes a fallacy simply because it is used in an attempt to avoid debate altogether. Over the years most Christians have come to recognize that they simply cannot prove the existence of their God. They can't even prove that Jesus existed as a historical person, let alone as a magical three-in-one demiurge. Therefore they argue by defining belief in God, theism and atheism in such ways that they can avoid the debate and place the onus on their opponents.

Somewhat worryingly, this argument is not being used so much to convince their opponents but to convince their supporters that they must be right.

Dec 28, 2008

World Junior championships

The World Junior championships kicked off yesterday in Ottawa. We're getting the Canadian telecast here in the middle of the night, but what the hell; it's dark 24/7 anyway so it doesn't matter when I sleep...

First of all, it's shocking how the Finnish media manages to drop the ball on these things. MTV3 is showing the junior champs on their cable channel, for which they want people to pay. You'd think they'd make some effort to promote them, then.

I don't know. If I worked there, I admit I might have suggested some reference to the fact that the last time Finland won a championship was the 1998 U20 championships. Playing in that year's tournament were guys like Marian Hossa. Finland won it with a Niklas Hagman goal, deflecting Olli Jokinen's shot into the net against Russia in the final. Canada finished a shocking eighth, being eliminated by the Russians in the quarterfinals.



On the Finnish team were players like the mentioned Hagman and Jokinen, and Eero Somervuori, Tomek Valtonen and Mika Noronen, among others. I couldn't find the roster with a little Googling, but it has to exist somewhere.

I'm just saying I might have mentioned this, even in passing, at some point.

**

The way Canadians treat other nations is sometimes nothing short of appalling. The Finland-Sweden game opened with the national anthems, or so we thought. Some woman came out on the ice, butchered O Canada, and then the game started. You could see the confusion on the players' faces; that's not our anthem... Not only was the singer incredibly awful, but the idea that you open a Finland-Sweden game at the world championships with the Canadian anthem is just unbelievable. No other country pulls stunts like this. It was disgusting.

Dec 27, 2008

said a young woman, holding a plastic cutlass.



“We get asked: ‘Why can't people believe what they want?'” said a young woman, holding a plastic cutlass. “The answer is, we are not targeting the beliefs, but the Church. Why does it take people's money? Why does it split people from their families? It is a dangerous cult.”

The Times: Scientology: the Anonymous protestors

Not only is it a dangerous cult, it is a hella stupid cult.

Wikinews: Church of Scientology falsely accuses internet group 'Anonymous' of 2007 school shooting

Monday, October 20, 2008

Wikinews has learned that the Church of Scientology has begun to falsely accuse the internet protest group Anonymous of a 2007 school shooting in Finland.

The Church, on October 18, 2008 accused Anonymous of being involved in the November 2007 shooting at Jokela High School, in which a man named Pekka-Eric Auvinen shot and killed nine people, including himself.

"Anonymous member Pekka-Eric Auvinen shot and killed seven students, a nurse and a teacher at Jokela High School in Finland before turning the gun on himself and taking his own life," said the Church in the October 18 press release. On October 17, the President of the Church of Scientology in New York City, John Carmichael, also accused Anonymous of being behind the shooting.

Of course, that's absolute garbage. But it's good to remind people that Scientologists have no principles. The idea that Pekka-Eric Auvinen "belonged" to Anonymous and this is somehow the reason he shot people is disgusting and unbelievable.

FAIL.



For Finnish readers: Etelä-Saimaa: Skientologia voi vaarantaa luottotietosi

Scientology Mission tunnetaan maailmalla nimellä CCHR eli Citizens Commission on Human Rights International, Ihmisoikeuskomissio. CCHR:n tärkein sanoma on, että psykiatrit ja psykologit rikkovat potilaiden ihmisoikeuksia.

Maailmanlaajuisesti ja myös Suomessa CCHR on kunnostautunut häiriköimällä sekä skientologiasta eroon pyrkiviä ihmisiä että näitä mielenterveys- ja muissa ongelmissa auttavia mielenterveyden ammattilaisia.

Yksi CCHR:n häiriköinnin kohteeksi joutuneista on eläkkeellä oleva Espoon kaupungin psykologi Sointu Talvitie. Hän hoiti 1990-luvulla lukuisia entisiä skientologeja, jotka olivat joutuneet lahkon vuoksi kärsimään sekä taloudellisista että mielenterveyden ongelmista.

Talvitiellä ei Lauerman tavoin ole skientologiasta mitään hyvää sanottavaa. Hän on kauhuissaan ajatuksesta, että skientologiasta tulisi virallinen kirkko.

Talvitie joutui nostamaan oikeudenkäynnin CCHR:ää vastaan, kun skientologit olivat pitkään ahdistelleet häntä puhelinterrorilla, kotirauhanhäirinnällä ja perättömillä kanteluilla. Suomen CCHR:n puheenjohtaja ja silloinen tiedottaja saivat herjaustuomion 1998, ja he myös joutuivat maksamaan Talvitielle vahingonkorvauksia.

- Korvaussumma oli hyvin pieni, mutta se oli kuitenkin tärkeä symbolinen ele, Talvitie sanoo.


They've been doing it in Finland as well. This is why we need to care.

In a stinging decision, Judge Paul Breckenridge ruled against Scientology. "In addition to violating and abusing its own members' civil rights," wrote Breckenridge, "the organization over the years with its 'Fair Game' doctrine has harassed and abused those persons not in the Church whom it perceives as enemies. The organization clearly is schizophrenic and paranoid, and this bizarre combination seems to be a reflection of its founder [Hub- bard]. The evidence portrays a man who has been virtually a pathological liar when it comes to his history, background, and achievements. The writings and documents in evidence additionally reflect his egoism, greed, avarice, lust for power, and vindictiveness and aggressiveness against persons perceived by him to be disloyal or hostile."

rickross.com

Besides, Rick Astley approves!



Last year, in Lahti. Next year? Tom Cruise's excerable movie Valkyrie opens in Finland on 20090130. Latest on February 10, Lisa McPherson's birthday.



Where the hell is Anonymous? (rough cut from whyweprotest.net)


Still here!

Dec 26, 2008

Boxing day



Hiatus, schmiatus. I should've known I'd have time on my hands over the holidays.

**

This "Christmas" people have been angry in Britain. Why?

The Argus: Brighton restaurant has reindeer on menu
A restaurant has provoked anger from animal rights campaigners for serving reindeer as part of its Christmas menu.

With thanks to Finland for Throught.

I'm also slightly annoyed by the restaurant. They refer to Finnish food and culture, yet call themselves a Scandinavian restaurant.

Finland is not in Scandinavia.

Finland is not part of the Scandinavian peninsula and has nothing to do with Scandinavism. We speak a different language and have a different culture. The term "Nordic countries" is the proper English cognate of Pohjoismaat, not Scandinavia. Get your geography straight, people. Saying Finland is in Scandinavia is no different from saying Italy is in Africa.

**

Also, yesterday was Dido's birthday (the singer, not the queen of Carthage, you ninny). She's cute, and I really like some of her stuff.


I still like her even though she's got a weird IRA thing going on.

In the spirit of correcting people, I wish people would distinguish between the opposition to the British occupation of Ireland and the Provisional IRA. Why?

Wikipedia:

The IRA's stated objective is to end "British rule in Ireland," and according to its constitution, it wants "to establish an Irish Socialist Republic, based on the Proclamation of 1916."

My boldface. I'm basically in support of most "liberation" movements, but you guys lost me at "socialist".

Dec 25, 2008

Dec 23, 2008

Christmas wishes from the Nazi Pope

On the eve of "Christmas", it's useful to remind ourselves of what "Christ"'s followers are like.

BBC: Pope puts stress on gender roles
Pope Benedict XVI has said that saving humanity from homosexual or transsexual behaviour is just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction. He explained that defending God's creation was not limited to saving the environment, but also protecting man from self-destruction.

As a side note, the BBC is pathetic. The Pope said that homosexuality and transsexuality are threats to mankind comparable to environmental destruction, and their title is "puts stress on gender roles"? Sheesh.

The Daily Telegraph put it better:

Pope: Saving world from homosexuality like saving rainforests
In comments at the Vatican that are likely to provoke a furious reaction from homosexual groups, Benedict also warned that blurring the distinction between male and female could lead to the "self-destruction" of the human race.

In his address to the Curia, the Vatican's central administration, he described behaviour beyond traditional heterosexual relations as "a destruction of God's work" and said that the Roman Catholic Church had a duty to "protect man from the destruction of himself".

Of course, this isn't very surprising coming from a former Hitler Youth member who believes that rock music and homosexuality are intrinsically evil.

As all the village idiots from Don Cherry on down are coming out of the woodwork to remind us of how this is Baby Jesus's birthday, it's useful to remember what all this Baby Jesus garbage is really about. Control and oppression. The Nazi Pope is just continuing the ages-old Christian party line: we know how you have to live. Your opinions are meaningless because ours come from God. Your sexuality is wrong.

Hey, fuck you, Baby Jesus.

Dec 20, 2008

Happy Yule!

I started this blag about a year ago, and my first post was on the topic of Christmas:

There's no such thing as Christmas

As the holiday rolls around again, I want to wish everyone a nice winter solstice. It's one of the oldest human celebrations to mark the time the day stops getting shorter. Here in the north, it's even more poignant because this is the time the light and warmth start to return.

I'm all for people's freedom to celebrate whatever they want. Remember, though, that all this talk about the make-believe son of a make-believe god is pure garbage. The Christmas tree you put up is an ancient Germanic tradition, and it's completely pagan. Santa Claus is no saint; he's Odin, and his flying sleigh is Odin's war party in the sky. If you're in the States and leave milk and cookies for Santa, you're continuing the proud Nordic tradition of leaving food for Odin's warhorse, Sleipnir. You'll likely wear a Roman Saturnalia hat, and give gifts like the Romans did. It isn't Baby Jesus's birthday, it's Dies Natalis Solis Invicti, the day of the unconquerable sun.



Celebrate as you like, but if you call it "Christmas", you're lying. Finnish speakers have no such problem, as in Finland, we celebrate Yule. The Christian attempt to bastardize the ancient Roman and Germanic holiday hasn't quite succeeded here. As anyone who celebrates "Christmas" elsewhere does so by performing ancient pagan rituals, it's safe to say they've failed there as well. Our culture is pagan. We were celebrating the solstice long before Christianity, and we'll be around when it's forgotten.

As a Yuletide present for everyone reading this blag, I put together a little wallpaper! It's in 1024*768 size, and features the Porvoo church on fire in 2006:



With that, I'm taking a short hiatus from blogging and will probably be back next year; maybe sooner, maybe later. Happy holidays!

Dec 19, 2008

-ee

I've discovered yet another thing that makes life worth living this month:

the -ee suffix

-ee

Added to verbs to form words meaning a person or thing that is the object of that verb (ie, to whom or to which an action is done).
examinee
interviewee


Less commonly added to verbs to form words meaning a person or thing that is the subject of that verb (ie, who or that does an action), especially where a passive sense of the verb is implied.
absentee
standee


(law) Used to form words meaning a person who is the other party to a contract involving a person described by the corresponding word ending in -or
legatee

(medicine) Used to form words meaning a person who has undergone a particular medical procedure
laryngectomee

Irregularly added to nouns to mean a person somehow associated with the object denoted by the noun.
bargee

We use the -ee suffix in perfectly normal words, like referee, employee and so forth.

However, some of the words on that Wiktionary page are already brilliant beyond compare:

affrontee
biographee
consecratee

Some I don't actually believe are words, but they're technically correct constructions and brilliant.

boree (one who is bored)
prayee

But above all, the -ee suffix opens up incredible linguistic vistas. Think of the possibilities, dear bloggee!

"Turnabout is fair play when the murderer becomes the murderee!"

"James Bond leaves behind many a seductee, but in Quantum of Solace, one of them tragically becomes an oilee."

The best, I feel, is appropriately saved for last. The agent noun for the -ee suffix, i.e. the noun that denotes a person who performs the verb, must be:

eeer


Therefore, a person to whom the -ee suffix has been applied is properly referred to as an:


eeee.


**

I love English!

Dec 18, 2008

Happy birthday Kari Byron!

Kari Byron is the hot chick on Mythbusters that we all had a crush on back when we could still be bothered to watch the show.

Admit it. It's her birthday, and happy birthday, Kari!

In addition to being a hot chick on TV, she's an artist; check out her web site.

Dec 17, 2008

Randomness

I was reading Cracked.com, because why? Because of Adam Proteau, of all people. They had some good stuff:

The 20 Most Bizarre Celebrity Baby Names

Geez. Sage Moonblood? Memphis Eve? You gotta be kidding me. Also, useful things to know:

The Top 10 Secret Celebrity Scientologists

The voice of Bart Simpson? SEINFELD? I mean, I always hated Seinfeld, but I never knew it was for a reason!

Scary stuff. Here's a picture of Lilly Goga to make you feel better:


She's hot, and I still have a crush on her...

Here's another one.

The 7 Most Retarded Ways Celebrities Have Tried to Go Green

And boy, oh boy, are they retarded. Codi Milo isn't; she's hot.


Also, you have to love some of these:

The World's Most Ridiculous Sports Team Names

Some of those are gold.

To finish on a high note, here's a brilliant song.



Sparks: This Town Ain't Big Enough for the Both of Us. Pure gold.

Dec 16, 2008

Red Ring of Death, pt. VI: Justine Joli!

My XBox is back! And it works! Aww, I missed it. =)

Fez brought me my XBox yesterday; apparently he works for UPS now. Turns out the problem was with the motherboard. I experienced a moment of pure terror when I booted up the box, put a game in and it started sputtering and crashed. Luckily on the reboot the game ran just fine, and I got to pwn Calgary 8-4. Bernier didn't exactly have his best day in goal, but the guys in front bailed him out.

**

Also, a hockey note. Yesterday was Mats Sundin's latest "deadline", by which he was going to decide a) if he's going to play in the NHL and b) who for. For a great recap of what's been happening, go to James Duthie of TSN.



That's a great song, by the way.

**

However, it's high time to get back to what this blag is really about: hot chicks. Justine Joli bills herself as the world's hottest geek, and I'm pretty much convinced it's true. Her website is at justinejoli.com and is not work safe. These pictures are, though, at least in the sense that if you don't mind your co-workers seeing that you're loking at pictures of porn stars, they're work-safe.





I didn't actually have any point to make. I just thought I'd post some pictures of a hot chick.

Isn't she just the cutest thing? I'm a fan.

Dec 15, 2008

Kiai!

Can't post. Still laughing.



Thanks to Aaro.

Dec 14, 2008

A history of furries

I was reading a ROM pit review on Something Awful, and the good Raptor Red linked to a site called, delightfully, crushyiffdestroy.com. As it happens, the site has a number of fairly good articles on the history of furries.

Terror From The Year 1994
What is furry?

These aren't bad. They're for anyone's general reading, but the historically inclined can take a minute to feel pity for the poor suckers who will, a couple of decades in the future, try to write some kind of a history of the internet.

Dec 13, 2008

Beat the clock

For me, the whole move from analog to digital TV can be justified by one thing: VH1 Classic. Here's three videos I've recently seen on that channel.



Embedding disabled by request (screw you)


Also, this seems like a good time for some totally random musical thoughts.

* Seriously, the Sparks are great. I saw the video for Beat the Clock on VH1 Classic, and realized I've never even heard of them. How is that even possible? They kick ass. I hope that when I grow up (sic) I can be even 10% as cool as Ron Mael. And yes, that's his name.

* I love the Talking Heads. However! While two of their best songs, "Burning Down the House" and "Girlfriend Is Better" were originally released on the album Speaking in Tongues, I find the live recordings on Stop Making Sense are much better than the album versions. I think that's rare enough to be worth commenting on.

* The Killers, it turns out, were a one-hit wonder. That's to say, a one-album wonder. I wasn't that crazy about Hot Fuss, although Somebody Told Me is a fantastic track, but Sam's Town is still one of the best rock albums of the 21st century, but judging from what I've heard of Day & Age, they suck now. The first single, Human, sounds like Coldplay. That's a shame.

* Speaking of Coldplay: Jesus! What the fuck? The most hideous fucking excuse for music I've heard in a decade! They're actually worse than Radiohead. And I didn't even think that was possible. Even Moby has more good songs than Radiohead, and Moby sucks. Last time I looked on Facebook's "Pages", where they have various things you can be a fan of, Coldplay had a million fans. What the christ is wrong with people?!?

This is actually one of the few real prejudices I still have. I don't care what colour you are, what your political beliefs are or where you're from; I don't care if you wear plaid or have your hair done so that you look like you played keyboards for Nena in the 1980's. Even religious beliefs I'll take only as a slightly worrying sign you may not have all your dishes in the cupboard, like the Germans say (Nena is German). But if you tell me that you listen to some horrible crud that I can't even classify as music? Oh dear.

The idea of someone buying a Coldplay record just made me throw up in my mouth. I can't write any more. I'm going to go listen to REAL MUSIC.

Dec 12, 2008

Red Ring of Death, pt. V: You only mail twice

My XBox is on its way home! But things aren't that simple. Oh, no, sirree.

Microsoft has my address, as in the place I officially live. The problem is that they're doing renovation work at my apartment and I don't actually live there at the moment. I called UPS to see if they could deliver the XBox to where I'm actually at, which also happens to be where they picked it up in the first place.

They won't. A lady explained to me that it's impossible; they have to deliver the console to the address printed on the box and they can't take it anywhere else. I tried to explain to her that there's no-one there, and the last thing I want is some Polish plumber signing for my XBox. The answer is no. They won't deliver it to me but will insist on trying to deliver it to a construction site where no-one lives.

Incidentally, this is precisely the opposite of what they told me when I called them a few weeks ago. Funny, huh?

I simply couldn't be bothered to reason with them. When a minor functionary decides they're going to pretend they're idiots and is not going to move a fraction of a nanometer for you, there's nothing you can do. I invoked a superior force and sicced a postal worker on them, and now they've agreed to actually deliver my XBox to me.

**

In other news, the Red Facebook of Death, or something. Apparently Facebook has totally stopped co-operating with my Opera. Every time I try to do something it tells me I'm not logged on, or that I haven't verified my account, and it kicks me back to the login screen. It's really starting to piss me off.

**

Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion of the Red Ring of Death saga: Red Ring of Death VI: The Undiscovered Country! Before that, some news. Kind of, because they're now exactly new.

The Independent: Felipe Fernandez-Armesto: The accidental criminal

Also, some hockey stuff.

The Hockey News: Ulf Samuelsson's Blog: The art of the practical joke

By the way, have I mentioned lately that Penguins coach Michel Therrien is a clown? Last season he made headlines by complaining that the Flyers didn't "respect" his team when they "ran up the score" against them.

This is the guy whose team, just last night, finished the first period up 4-1, but went on to score 5 more goals.

For what it's worth, I don't agree with the philosophy that a hockey team should stop scoring once they believe the game is out of reach. Last night, the Flyers staged a comeback from a four-goal deficit, so you can certainly argue that a 4-1 lead isn't safe. However, if you're going to whine about other teams "running up the score" against you and do the same thing yourself at every opportunity, you're just being a ridiculous hypocrite. Therrien is by far the most overrated coach in the league in any case, and the few times he opens his mouth he usually makes a fool of himself.

Dec 11, 2008

My 2008 of whatever

The year is sort of ending, so I feel it's time for a retrospective.


My 2008 of whatever


So I'm at this restaurant, and this chick comes up, and she's all like "I used to be SOOO fat, and then I lost like 5,000 pounds in a month, just by running!", and I'm like yeah, whatever!

And there's this chick, right, and she's like "Aww, I really like you and we should hang out", and then she never calls me. And I'm trying to be like yeah, whatever.

This guy comments on my Facebook all the time, and he's like "I don't know any of these bands you listen to, like this Roy Orbison guy, but I really like Nightwish." And I'm like, dude, WHATEVER.


'Cos this is my 2008 of whatever!
(da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da)
And this is my 2008 of whatever!
(dau da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da)


This chick comes up, and she's all like "if you guys recycled your biodegradeable waste, your carbon footprint..." and I'm like yeah, whatever!

There's this other chick, and we broke up like ages ago because I could never figure out how she felt about me, and now she's all like "But I loved you!". I'm like, geez. Really?

These dudes all post on my blog, and they're all like "Tu juu not andöständ thät tö niikro is tsenetikäli infiriör?!? Vot te fak is ronk vit juu, ant vai tont juu kou plei vit juor tsenitäls." And I'm like, seriously, you guys, WHATEVER.


'Cos this is my 2008 of whatever!
(da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da)
And this is my 2008 of whatever!
(dau da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da)


So I'm writing a novel and a non-fiction book, and I give some people copies to read, and they're like "yeah, sure, I'd love to read it", but they never do. I'm like, yeah, OK. Whatever!

I'm at my class reunion, and there's some people I always really liked, but they're all like "uhh", so I'm like, yeah, whatever!

Basically on the whole I'm just totally depressed, and then people are like "ahh, there's nothing wrong with you, just go jogging and you'll feel better", and I'm like WHATEVER!


'Cos this is my 2008 of whatever!
(da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da)
And this is my 2008 of whatever!
(dau da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da)


So, you know, whatever.

(if you don't know what's going on, this may help)

Dec 10, 2008

Red Ring of Death, pt. IV: The Voyage Home

I received a third e-mail saying Microsoft hasn't received my console, so I called them. A nice man checked my details and told me it's a software glitch, and they've been accidentally sending out these e-mails. I didn't think it would be polite to say anything, so I didn't, and won't. This is mostly because I'm happy; he also told me my console has been fixed! It should be heading home soon. Sweet.

**

Also, in the news:

BBC: Latvia defends economist's arrest

University lecturer Dmitrijs Smirnov told a newspaper the nation's currency, the lat, was heading for devaluation.

He advised people to withdraw their money from banks or change it.

Mr Smirnov was later arrested by Latvia's security police, who usually hunt for terrorists and organised criminals, before begin released.

Mr Smirnov was locked up for two days last month before he was freed. No decision has been made yet whether to charge him.

In an interview with the BBC World Service, Mr Smirnov said the police accused him of trying to destabilise Latvia's financial system.

Is that a crime? Destabilizing the economic system? Way to go, Latvia. I'm sure if you arrest everyone who says the wrong things in public, the economy will recover.

In related news, how long until Sweden locks up Johan Norberg?

**

Also, as it's impossible to read the BBC website without running into examples of the quintessentially British art of crafting newspaper headlines, here's one: Chinese girl gets 'kiss of deaf'. Geez.

Dec 9, 2008

British ISPs censor Wikipedia

BBC: Wikipedia child image censored
A decision by a number of UK internet providers to block a Wikipedia page showing an image of a naked girl has angered users of the popular site.

The blocked page of the online encyclopaedia shows an album cover of German heavy metal band Scorpions, released in 1976.

Internet providers acted after online watchdog the Internet Watch Foundation warned them its picture may be illegal.

The IWF said it was a "potentially illegal child sexual abuse image".

The Internet Watch Foundation is a nominally private organization that monitors the Internet for child pornography and "racist and obscene" content. It maintains a blacklist of sites which ISPs then block access to.

This all sounds eerily familiar to Finland, except that in the UK it's a private organization that maintains the blacklist. This is really a brilliant way to circumvent democracy and the rule of law altogether. Now that a private organization has summarily decided that the image in question is child porn and therefore illegal, and private ISPs have, on their own initiative, decided to block it, who can you complain to? No-one.

Oh, by the way, what image is that? The cover of the Scorpions' album Virgin Killer. Just type "virgin killer" into Google image search and it'll pop up immediately. It's been pointed out by the Wikimedia Foundation that the image is also on Amazon.com, which hasn't been censored; I'd venture to add that none of the other sites you get on Google have been censored, or for that matter Google itself. As Matti Nikki points out on lapsiporno.info, though, as we know Google is a browser, so that's different.

**

The most sinister precedent being set in several countries is that the police, or some similar organization, can simply decide some material is illegal and then censor it.

I've always thought that one of the fundamental principles of Western jurisprudence is that everyone is innocent until proven guilty. The way I understand that is that Wikipedia isn't hosting child pornography until somone can prove they are. No court of law has ruled that the censored picture is child pornography, and as is pointed out in the BBC article, the image has been published in books and on other websites. Are those all illegal as well? Is everyone who owns that edition of Virgin Killer now a criminal in possession of child pornography? Apparently not; it's only "potentially illegal" on Wikipedia. And it doesn't need to be determined through any process that it is, in fact, illegal; a private body with no competence to judge on legality can simply decide.

We're throwing out some of the fundaments of Western jurisprudence in order to fight "child pornography". Also, by the way, anyone at all concerned with freedom of expression and so forth might want to note that a precedent is also being set for your ISPs; they can decide what you're allowed to see and what you're not allowed to see.

If the fight against child pornography goes on much longer, we won't have much Internet left.

**

In other child pornography news:

BBC: Fake Simpsons cartoon 'is porn'

An appeal judge in Australia has ruled that an animation depicting well-known cartoon characters engaging in sexual acts is child pornography.

The internet cartoon featured characters from the Simpsons TV series.

...

Justice Michael Adams said the purpose of anti-child pornography legislation was to stop sexual exploitation and child abuse where images of "real" children were depicted.

But in a landmark ruling he decided that the mere fact that they were not realistic representations of human beings did not mean that they could not be considered people.

He ruled that the animated cartoon could "fuel demand for material that does involve the abuse of children," and therefore upheld the conviction for child pornography.

Animated people are people too?

Some of the implications are staggering. "could fuel demand for material that does involve the abuse of children". What couldn't? That's an amazing verdict.

Also, I'd like to see them make rulings on this. When pornography is made with actual people in it, they have actual, verifiable ages. How old is Sailor Moon? How old are any of the characters in a hentai "game" like this one? Is owning a copy a child pornography offense in Australia now?

None of this is going to stop them, obviously, but in case you own any hentai in Australia, watch out.

Is this really what we need to do to combat the exploitation of children; sue people for downloading Simpsons porn?

Dec 8, 2008

Red Ring of Death, pt. III: The Sorcerer

My XBox 360 saga continues.

* on 4.12., I received an e-mail from Microsoft, stating that they've received my console and will be fixing it.
* today (8.12.) I received an e-mail from Microsoft, stating they've received my service request but never received my console.

Oh dear.

Sean Pronger!

If you're at all interested in hockey or the NHL, or if you have a minute, you absolutely must read this.

Sean Pronger's Blog: Apple vs. Crab Apple

Dec 7, 2008

The EU wants to search your hard drive

EU press release: Fight against cyber crime: cyber patrols and Internet investigation teams to reinforce the EU strategy.
The new strategy recommends reinforcing partnership between the police and the private sector by better knowledge-sharing on investigation methods and trends in cyber crime. It also encourages both parties to respond quickly to information requests, resort to remote searches, cyber patrols for online tracking of criminals and joint investigations across borders. The strategy also calls for the setting up of an alert platform in the short term, where reports on crime committed on the Internet, such as posting of illegal content, in EU member states would be pooled for cross-checking by Europol. The Commission earmarked 300,000 euro for Europol to implement the platform.

My boldface.

Remote searches. According to digitoday.fi this is the idea that was floated earlier this year of "searching" suspects' computers remotely. The only way that's technically feasible is using viruses, Trojans or some kind of spyware. So basically, the EU wants to use computer viruses to prevent "crime on the Internet". Remember that in Finland, "computer crime" includes racism, criticizing the police and having "child pornography" on your computer, whether you know about it or not.

Under the new EU proposal, if the police suspect you of one of these heinous crimes, they could attack your computer with spyware and go through all your personal files, without notifying you. And if they happen to find something? You're screwed.

Does this sound unrealistic to you?

Deutsche Welle: German Chancellor Merkel Rebuffed on Terrorism Surveillance Bill

The so-called Federal Bureau of Criminal Investigations, or BKA, bill that was rejected would have given German investigators the power to break into personal computers during preventative inquiries into terrorism and other serious crimes and allow clandestine observation on their suspects using video surveillance, bugging telephones, searching homes, and even requesting data from third parties.

Police have likewise been studying whether they could either enter premises to plant monitoring devices in computers or send viruses using Trojan software to the computers via the internet so that investigators could covertly read the hard disks.

Notice: terrorism and other serious crimes. What constitutes a serious crime? I'm not sure, but expect the definition to be stretched. As it now stands, and was rejected, the law would have allowed the police to install bugs and cameras in citizens' apartments even if they were never suspected of a crime.

The way the European Union is cracking down on civil liberties is frankly becoming terrifying. It's not just the Germans trying to recreate the Stasi; the whole EU seems to be going along for the ride. The Finnish chief of police recently called for greater powers for their new cybercrime unit.

Here's the funny thing: amidst all these new powers, nothing is actually being done about this "cybercrime". Here's a report from this June, saying that European agencies are making practically no effort to remove actual child pornography websites and resources from the Internet. The problem is not lack of powers or authority, it's just that no-one is doing anything.

These laws won't help a single victim of child pornography. All they're doing is trampling all over our rights to privacy and free expression, and taking the European Union on the road toward a police state.

My thanks to Matti Nikki of http://lapsiporno.info for information on his banned website. I can't get to it from my computer without using a proxy server, because the Finnish police have banned access. I wonder when that will become illegal?

Dec 6, 2008

Suicide day

Today is Finnish independence day. In Finnish, it's called itsenäisyyspäivä, after itsenäisyys, independence. That's fairly close to itsemurha, suicide, and in the colloquial Finnish way of abbreviating words, they both come out as "itsari". Hence, Suicide Day.

Wikipedia: Finnish mythology
Saint Urho

The legend of St. Urho was the invention of a Finnish-American named Richard Mattson, who worked at Ketola's Department Store in Virginia, Minnesota in spring of 1956. Mattson later recounted that he invented St. Urho when he was questioned by coworker Gene McCavic about the Finns' lack of a saint like the Irish St. Patrick, whose feat of casting the snakes out of Ireland is remembered on St. Patrick's Day.

According to the original "Ode to St. Urho" written by Gene McCavic and Richard Mattson, St. Urho was supposed to have cast "tose 'Rogs" (those frogs) out of Finland by the power of his loud voice, which he obtained by drinking "feelia sour" (sour whole milk) and eating "kala mojakka" (fish soup).

The original "Ode to St. Urho" identified St. Urho's Day as taking place on May 24. Later the date was changed to March 16, the day before St. Patrick's Day. St. Urho's feast is supposed to be celebrated by wearing the colors Royal Purple and Nile Green. Other details of the invented legend also changed, apparently under the influence of Dr. Sulo Havumäki, a psychology professor at Bemidji State College in Bemidji, Minnesota. The legend now states that St. Urho drove away grasshoppers (rather than frogs) from Finland using the incantation "Heinäsirkka, heinäsirkka, mene täältä hiiteen!" ("Grasshopper, grasshopper, go from hence to Hell!"), thus saving the Finnish grape crops.

I first heard about the legend of St. Urho just a couple of years ago. Imagine that I, as a Finn, remained totally ignorant of this seminal figure of Finnish mythology, indeed a Finnish St. Patrick, until my twenties!

Of course, everyone knows St. Urho was invented out of whole cloth by a publicist, like the article says.

What everyone does not seem to know is that nearly everything you will see celebrated today is just as fictional as St. Urho, and similarly invented. Nearly everything in Finnish culture, from the Kalevala through sisu and the sanctity of the "Finnish" sauna to the superhumanly heroic soldiers of the Winter War has been created through a process of myth-building, misrepresentation and outright lies no more historically grounded than St. Urho.

Today we, as a nation, throw away common sense, critical thinking and intelligence and celebrate xenophobia and nationalism. Today we tell each other about how good we are at killing foreigners (Tuntematon sotilas airs on the government TV channel, as always), and remind each other of how much better than all those foreigners we are. Remember, being born Finnish is like winning the lottery! (an actual Finnish catchphrase)

We're not likely to remember how we've systematically oppressed the minorities of our country. We're going to glorify Finland's military history and forget about the concentration camps in East Karelia, the brutal POW camps in which the Finnish Army tried to work its Soviet prisoners to death, or the very fact that Finland's "glorious" continuation war was an imperialist attack into a foreign country to annex and ethnically cleanse its territory. Instead, our government TV channel will show a war movie that glorifies the war.

I still don't see how any of this is a good thing. Nationalism is disgusting, and today it's at its most disgusting in the Finnish year. All I can say is that I never asked to be a Finn. On this day, perhaps more than any other, I positively hate it.



Fuck you, Finland.

Dec 4, 2008

Sidney stupidity and some not-so-tough guys

Here's an excellent example of the kind of idiocy Sidney Crosby, the Jesus of Hockey, still invokes in Canada.

Canadian Press: CROSBY ON PACE TO SET CAREER HIGH IN GOALS SCORED
While the Pittsburgh Penguins captain is certainly used to being the hottest player in the NHL, his most recent surge has come in an unfamiliar way. Crosby has 10 goals in as many games for the first time in his NHL career and raised an interesting question in the process - can he score 50 in a season?

Crosby goes on a 10-goal scoring spree, and all of a sudden we're talking 50 goals. Geez.

As a matter of fact, Crosby's not really much of a goal scorer. In each of his NHL seasons, he's scored or in the case of last season scored on pace for 30-something goals. At the moment, he's just coming off a huge points streak. Yes, if he continues a streak like this, he'll score 50. Duh. Anyone who understands anything about hockey knows he won't. It's unlikely Crosby will exceed 50 this year either. It would actually be exceptional if he hit 40 for the first time in his career.

The obvious question is: why is any of this even news? Because Sidney Crosby is the Face of Hockey, and the Official Savior of the NHL. What bullshit.

**

Items in brief:

* it's good to see somebody agree with me that an all-Habs starting lineup in the All-Star game wouldn't be a bad thing.

* Sean Avery. Sheesh. I didn't think there was any way he could make himself more hated in hockey, but Sean Avery found a way. What he said about Elisha Cuthbert is just, well, sloppy.

And poorly translated into Finnish, I might add. Seriously though, when he called Marty Brodeur fat, I thought he was just making an ass of himself. Now he's just gone too far. Having said that, I agree totally with Ken Campbell's sentiments on the matter.

**

Also, some not-so-tough guys in the NHL. First up, Milan Lucic. On November 22, the Habs retired Patrick Roy's number and played the Bruins. In the previous game, Lucic dropped the gloves with Mike Komisarek and showboated to the crowd on his way to the box. Unsurprisingly Georges Laraque wanted a word with him. As soon as Guy Carbonneau started putting Laraque on the ice against Lucic, Lucic spent the rest of the game running away from him. Lucic managed to score on a great setup from Phil Kessel, but was invisible for the rest of the game after Laraque started trailing him.

My point? I actually like the way Lucic plays. He looks like he might turn into one heck of a power forward. However, he convinced me of one thing in that game. When it comes to dropping the gloves, he's a pussy. I had a ton of respect for Lucic until I saw him run like a girl from Georges Laraque.

I'm sure some people think it made sense for Lucic to run away like a schoolgirl whenever Laraque got near him. Coach Claude Julien has said he told Lucic not to fight, and I'm sure he did. The thing is, though, Lucic had no impact on the game whatsoever except for his tip-in goal, because he was too busy running from Laraque. He wasn't the impact player he usually is. Is it really tactically wise for him to not fight Laraque, if than means he won't affect the game like he normally does?

At the end of the day, I don't actually care. In my opinion, if you want to be a tough guy, you have to stand up and be counted. Lucic has yet to do that. The only real heavyweight he's fought in the NHL is Raitis Ivanans. I respect that, but it's just not good enough.

As a point of historical interest, here's a YouTube clip of Lucic running away from Laraque last year. Seriously, watch this. He won't even stand next to Laraque on the faceoff.



The only possible conclusion is that Lucic is afraid of Laraque. Again, I don't care if it's tactically smart or whatever to fight. If Lucic wants to play the kind of impact game he does, and make a name for himself as some kind of tough guy, he's going to have to stand up and be counted. Running away from Laraque at every opportunity is just not going to cut it. I respect Lucic as a hockey player; I don't have a shred of respect for him as a fighter. Last season, in games against the Pens, he did fight Jarkko Ruutu, but wouldn't fight Laraque. That's ridiculous.

If you're going to fight, then fight. That means you fight Ruutu and you fight Laraque. If you're not going to fight, don't fight. Ovechkin doesn't fight, and he's the most awesome power forward in the NHL. That's cool. If you're going to be an agitator, then pick your fights. But do one of these things. If you're going to talk tough and act like a fighter but run away from Georges Laraque like a little girl, you'll just make an ass of yourself.

**

In Lucic's favor, he did fight Raitis Ivanans. Not everyone will, as this week's Leafs-Kings game showed. Minor league goon Andre Deveaux is trying to earn himself a roster spot with the Leafs, and he made his own contribution yesterday by, erm, running away from Raitis Ivanans. Of course, his only fight of the season is a loss to Josh Gratton, so maybe the whole tough guy thing isn't working out for him. So far, he's been a clown.

There's been some discussion on what Brian Burke will do to the Leafs. Some, including bigot-in-chief Don Cherry, maintain he's going to kick all those stinking euros off the team for good and bring in good Canadian boys, like he did in Anaheim. I don't know. Of course, if Burke is clinically insane he'll get rid of those good-for-nothing Euros who make up, what, four of the top five Maple Leafs points scorers, team leaders in goals, plus/minus and game-winning goals. It's obvious those guys are the problem in Toronto; they're just not hitting and fighting enough.

Maybe Burke will quickly dump the likes of Mikhail Grabovski, who's finally living up to the promise he showed on the Belarus national team years ago, Nikolai Kulemin and Alexei Ponikarovsky, not to mention perennial Leafs disappointment Nik Antropov, who is really a disappointment only because Leafs fans had totally unrealistic expectations of him. I'm sure Burke could replace them with, oh, I don't know, Andre Deveaux and other AHL goons. If he did that, then we'd really see a miracle: a Toronto team that does worse then before.

Far be it from me to suggest Don Cherry has completely lost his marbles when it comes to European players, and swaps hockey sense for racism when it comes to roster choices.

Dec 3, 2008

The UN resolves to defend religions

In a move that flew completely under the radar here in Finland, the UN has passed a resolution to defend religions from criticism and satire.

IHT: UN rights council passes Islamic resolution on religious defamation

The resolution mentions all religions, but chiefly talks about the defamation of Islam. It aims to "combat" all defamation and stereotyping of religions.

There's a fair article on canada.com that quotes several opponents of the resolution. Also, thanks to Vera Izrailit for her post on it.

The whole idea is absolute lunacy. It basically amounts to the UN sanctioning anti-blasphemy laws. Under the resolution, we might see the Finnish blasphemy law return, if it didn't already exist under a different name. Finland, in fact, never actually decriminalized blasphemy; it was relabeled. Several Muslim countries have brutal blasphemy laws, and this UN resolution would give those UN backing.

To their credit, Canada and the European Union have maintained that a religion cannot have rights; only people have rights. Blasphemy is the ultimate victimless crime; it is insulting and defaming someone or something that does not exist.

At heart, this is an Islamist counter-attack against the Muhammed cartoons. It's thoroughly offensive to all Western ideas of freedom of speech and expression. To say that the resolution's goals are sinister is an understatement; the Muslim countries that drafted and passed this resolution in the UN human rights council are mounting a political assault on our freedom of speech. It's disgusting that the UN human rights council is being used to pass a resolution that reinforces the Muslim belief that they have some kind of right to control what other people are allowed to say about their religion.

The resolution was proposed by Pakistan. I'd like to take this opportunity to say fuck you, Pakistan.

There's a fair critique of the resolution at Freedom House, and I won't bother repeating it here.

Also, Neil Gaiman, whose work I courteously dislike, did a Good Thing by talking about free speech in his blog:

Neil Gaiman's Journal: Why defend freedom of icky speech?

Thank you, Mr. Gaiman!

Dec 2, 2008

A topical dinosaur

Today I think is a good day for linking to a Dinosaur Comic that is on a topic relevant for several people I know!

i'm sassy AND classy

I'm sorry that it's relevant for you, though.

Dec 1, 2008

D'Hondt!

More on the elections!

Finland uses the D'Hondt method of apportioning votes in the parliamentary and municipal elections. To be specific, the open-list variant is used.

Under the D'Hondt system, the candidate who received the most votes of his list (=party/coalition) is credited with the largest proportion of the list's votes. In other words, say list A receives n votes. The highest-tallying candidate on list A will receive n comparative votes. Roughly speaking, the next-highest tallying candidate gets n/2, the next one n/3, and so on.

The exact mathematics are fairly well known around here, and if you don't know them, that's what the Wikipedia link is for. That's not quite my point.

Instead, this is:

Isn't it perfectly possible, under the open-list D'Hondt system, for a candidate who received zero (0) votes to be elected to office?

Say a small party has a surprising run of luck and their big candidate gets an avalanche of votes. He gets a gigantically high representative vote equal to the party's entire vote, most of which he garnered on his own. The next guy on the list gets n/2, and so forth. Suppose that way down on the list is Jack E. Crap, who ran for the election as a joke. The poor schmuck is so convinced he can't win that he didn't even bother to vote for himself, giving a grand total of zero (0) votes.

As near as I can tell, he still gets n/x representative votes. At least in Finnish law, there's no criterion that a candidate actually has to receive votes to be given a proportional number of votes. As near as I can figure, if Jack E. Crap's n/x number was high enough to secure him a seat, under Finnish law, he would be elected without anyone ever voting for him.

According to the same law, 90 §, if two candidates have the same amount of votes their relative order is decided by draw. If there were several unfortunate shmoes who didn't get a single vote, they'd apparently draw lots to see who got into Parliament.

This is obviously possible under a closed-list system, where you only vote for the party. But I didn't realize it's possible under the open-list system as well.

Obviously, what I'm describing is a very rare occurrence. But as near as I can tell, under our current legistlation you don't technically need a single vote to be elected to public office.