The US is a failing state

 So Joe Biden was sworn in as President, and the previous guy flew off to Florida in a sulk. All well and good, and frankly, very relieving. But the US has serious problems that aren't going away nearly as easily.

**

I wrote about the Forever War a couple of years ago, but it's not like anything has changed. American troops have spent 30 years in the Middle East and achieved absolutely nothing. They're still occupying Afghanistan and Iraq, there's still a civil war in Syria even though nobody cares about it any more, and so on. What I want to highlight here is the total ineptitude of the Forever War. The USians have spent three decades fighting and have learned nothing.

Take Syria, for instance. When the country collapsed into civil war, the US couldn't decide whether or not to actually intervene. The Obama administration drew several "red lines" and then dithered over them, while the next guy was more than happy to order airstrikes that accomplished nothing. The point is not to debate what the Americans should or shouldn't have done in Syria. It's that two consecutive administrations were unable to formulate or execute any kind of coherent national policy, or use military force to achieve national political goals. This is how a failing state acts.

US policy toward Iran is similarly senseless. Trump withdraws from the JCPOA, seemingly for no reason except that Obama signed it and therefore it must be bad -- only to then turn around and insist, in a ridiculous and failed diplomatic maneuver, that even though the US withdrew from the treaty, they're still a "participant" in it. Trump then had Qasem Soleimani murdered, again seemingly for no particular reason. At the time, it looked like the US was trying to provoke Iran into a war, but when the Iranians retaliated by striking US bases in Iraq, Trump lied that they hadn't and nothing came of it. You tell me: is this a superpower executing a strategy of regional dominance, or an empire as decrepit as the idiot con man who pretended to lead it?

This January marks the 30-year anniversary of the US-led invasion of Iraq. Over those three decades, the US has taken a sledgehammer to the Middle East and achieved nothing at all, except killing untold thousands of people and destabilizing the entire region. And they're not done yet: US forces are still stuck in Afghanistan with no end in sight, and no-one even expects the new administration to do anything different. There's no exit strategy and there never was. In Vietnam, they had to leave when the other guys kicked them out, but US military supremacy is now so overwhelming that this is very unlikely, but they won't leave of their own accord. Nobody can define an end state, let alone a victory condition, for the Forever War, and because it's constantly spun as somehow a patriotic defensive effort protecting American liberties, it can't be stopped.

In other words, the supposedly greatest country in the world can't figure out how to stop spending literally trillions of dollars murdering innocent people in the Middle East.

**

Speaking of people dying, as I write this in early January, the death rate to the coronavirus pandemic in the US is a little over 1 000 per million (Statista). At that rate, over five thousand Finns would have died. The actual number was under six hundred when I wrote this. So despite spending over twice as much per person on health care, the US system is delivering an outcome that's ten times worse. They also can't get people vaccinated: the US government set a target of 20 million vaccinations by the end of 2020; they managed two million.

Now, it's easy to say that this is because of the idiot who's been in charge, and obviously he's to blame. You don't want a vacuous populist with stupid hair in charge of your country during a pandemic; just ask the Brits. But Trump is a symptom, not a cause.

The Forever War has turbocharged American racism. Most obviously through the massive islamophobia constantly incited in its name, but also in indirect ways. The ongoing police brutality in the US, for example, and the militarization of US policing, long predate the "war on terror" but are being accelerated by it. Veterans are strongly overrepresented in US police departments, and according to at least one study, are more likely to shoot people than non-veterans. Law enforcement agencies across the US gained massive, intrusive new powers of surveillance in the wake of the 2001 terrorist attacks, and the flood of military equipment to police departments only increased. A more militarized police force with more veterans is then more likely to brutalize and murder minorities, which leads to protests, which justifies more policing.

As with the Forever War, there's no end in sight for the rampant police violence in the US either. One party openly cheers for it, with the unwavering support of the police unions, but the other one can't figure it out either. I'd like to say it's unbelievable that Biden's response to the police riots against the Black Lives Matter movements is to increase police funding, but it isn't. His position didn't change when off-duty cops stormed the Capitol and on-duty cops let them.

**

Trump himself, as a politician, is obviously a product of the Forever War. His racism, crude even by American standards, is boosted and justified by the rampant islamophobia of the "war on terror", and is key to his popularity among his overwhelmingly white, mostly well-off supporters.

But I think there's another way in which the Forever War ties into Trumpism. The supposedly constant threat of terrorism lets white Americans pretend that they're being victimized. White people living in the middle of rural nowhere, USA, can profess to be terrified that any moment now, an ISIS technical will pull up on their main street and shoot out the only traffic light in the name of the Caliphate. This doesn't just excuse white USians' racism, but it lets them play-act being oppressed, and there's nothing Trump supporters love more than pretending they're being oppressed. It's why Trump's repellent and ridiculous mix of bombast and self-pitying whining appeals to them: they want to both revel in their privilege and pretend it doesn't exist. The "war on terror" provides a way to get there. And, of course, once you've convinced yourself that ISIS is coming, you'll find it a lot easier to believe that buses full of Antifa are on their way to your hometown, as so many USian conservatives at one point claimed to believe.

This impossible idea, by the way, of simultaneously being the privileged and invaluable backbone of society, and a persecuted minority, has historically been the position of Christian churches. Which makes it entirely unsurprising that white Christians overwhelmingly support Trump.

Even though the most deranged conspiracists were bitterly disappointed when Biden was sworn in, the conservative persecution complex is carrying on as if nothing had happened. Moments after voting to overthrow the results of a democratic election, various Republican politicians were on the usual platforms whining about how mean the Democrats were being. Fox News and their ilk have spent the past year telling their viewers Joe Biden is a communist who is going to take their guns, ban cars and beef and whatever, just like they told everyone Obama was going to do. When none of that happened, it didn't put so much as a dent in the hysterical screeching, nor will it now.

Of course, in the dying days of the Trump regime, a huge number of these people convinced themselves that any election they lose isn't legitimate. Their elected representatives voted to overturn election results, and incited an armed mob to storm the Capitol, trying to stop the election result from being confirmed. Nearly half of all Republicans supported the attack.

A strong faction of Republicans now openly oppose democracy. If they took back the House and Senate in the midterms, judging on their behavior so far, they would vote to throw out a presidential election result that didn't go their way.

It's one thing for a party to elect someone lile Trump, who openly opposes democracy. It's another for some politicians, like the Zodiac, to support him and echo his rhetoric. But when a large part of the supporters of the party start opposing democracy and believing that only they are entitled to rule, it becomes a serious problem.

This mentality is being driven by the brutalizing racism of the Forever War. It's being driven by the constant police brutality and racism. It's being turbocharged by the radicalization engines of the right-wing media, Facebook and Youtube. It isn't going away. If anything, it's going to get worse, because the structural forces driving it aren't going anywhere.

**

This year will mark the twentieth anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Of course, they didn't create problems like American racism and militarism, or the fascist contempt so much of the USian right has for democracy. We can't know what the 21st century would have been like without the War on Terror. But it would be very difficult to argue that that Forever War hasn't made all of these problems so much worse, and so much more difficult to solve.

The US has been in mortal peril before. It survived the Civil War, even though the subsequent efforts to fix some of these deep-rooted inequalities was sabotaged. Now, real structural change seems even harder, and the saboteurs are legion.

No-one knows what will happen. In one of the more spectacularly silly journalistic outpourings in my country, someone compared Joe Biden to FDR. I can't help thinking that's spectacularly wrong. To stay in that context, I'm afraid Biden isn't the great reformer who will actually grapple with the great problems of US society that FDR was. Instead, he's Herbert Hoover: the studious technocrat who won't address the actual issues, and is overwhelmed by them. I suppose in 2024 we'll see if he's succeeded by an FDR - or a Buzz Windrip.

I can't say I'm very optimistic.

Battlefront: Let's collect 15mm miniatures - or not, I guess

Painting all this Star Wars Rebellion and Armada stuff has made me realize how much I miss 6mm Epic. Now that I have a proper hobby space, I'm going to have to bring what remains of my Epic collection home; until then, the closest thing I have to that is a random collection of 15mm miniatures. I painted them, bought several more, and ended up frustrated by the whole thing.

To make a long story short, Battlefront won't sell me their products. I tried ordering a whole bunch of their World War III stuff to our friendly local gaming store; some of it showed up, and some never did. I made the order in July and eventually cancelled it in December. We also ordered some stuff direct from them, and got it, but when we tried to get several boxes of stuff from their plastics sale in November-December, our payment was declined and after a frustratingly pointless email exchange, we gave up. Judging from other things I've read online, this isn't exactly a unique occurrence.

I'm disappointed, because I liked painting these models, but if they won't sell me any, what can I do? So here are all the 15mm models I made, sadly with the caveat that I can't recommend trying to buy any of your own! We order from quite a few miniature companies online, and no-one else has ever treated us this miserably.

**

What I have here is another summer surprise: an ancient Flames of War starter set I have no particular recollection of buying, but here it is. I've misplaced one StuG III, but that leaves one German assault gun and three M47 Shermans. The rest are Zvezda 1:100 snap-fit plastic models, which are very cheerful, decent quality and ludicrously cheap, so I've randomly bought some that have met my eye as I shopped at our friendly local hobby and gaming stores. There's a Pz.38(t), an SU-76M, an M3 Lee and a Sd.Kfz.222, I think.

Here's a selection of the models painted up in Ooarai Girls Academy colors.

I was originally thinking we'd try the ancient Flames of War rules I found, but then they came out with a new edition and a fairly cheap Stalingrad starter set, so I got that instead.

As a curiosity, here's a side-by-side view of a Zvezda T-34/85 and a Battlefront T-34/76 from the Stalingrad set. There's not much to choose from here!

The Zvezda model is obviously easier to assemble, being snap-fit, and the Battlefront one comes with loads more doodads like different stowage and weapon options. The Zvezda hard plastic was marginally nicer to work with. Here's a Zvezda Panzer IV D and a Battlefront Panzer IV with a longer gun. Here the Zvezda tank is noticeably smaller.

All in all, the plastic tanks in the Stalingrad box were fun and easy to assemble. There's a paper guide and more extensive assembly guides on the website, and I had no trouble. Here they all are:

**

Because I have no interest in the US Army, I decided to paint the Shermans in Soviet colours (the only alternative I considered was the Brazilians). I'm delighted to report that Vallejo's Camo Olive Green seems to be exactly that slightly unpleasant shade of green drab that I think Soviet tanks were; at least I'm very happy with how they look. Also I had a great time painting slogans on them!

I know Soviet Shermans didn't actually have red stars on them, but they look so cute I couldn't not do it.

And here's the SU-76 and KV-2.

**

As for the German tanks in the new starter set, I wanted to do something a little bit more interesting with them. For the long-barreled Pz.IV, I decided to create a completely ahistorical Finnish paint scheme: the very dark green of the winter war era, combined with a late- or post-war roundel. Frankly, I'm no fan of swastikas. I also got a Vickers 6-ton and painted it with the same scheme; the base color is Luftwaffe Camo Green. You could argue it should be darker, and I'm still thinking about it myself.

Finland never operated Pz.IIIs, though. But you know who did? Turkey. I've had very little success finding out anything about the way they were painted, beyond a picture of a dark green Pz.III at a Turkish military museum, and a claim that early Turkish tanks simply used a red roundel as identification. Therefore, I give you this:

So this is now a Finno-Turkish armored detachment. After painting these models, I learned that several entire corps of the Ottoman Army fought on the Eastern Front in Word War I, as did the battalion of Finnish volunteers; so maybe it's not as far-fetched as I had originally thought!

And here are the starter set Soviets, plus the Zvezda T-34/85.

**

Incidentally, I also got this Battlefront T-28.

I find the early Soviet multi-turret tanks absolutely fascinating. Several countries came up with these kinds of behemoths in the interwar years, but as far as I know, the Soviets were the only ones who actually went through with serial production and deployment, which led to a number of T-28s being captured by the Finnish army and put into use. I have a quibble with the Battlefront site, though. It shows the T-28 in Finnish colors, with the shorter of the two main gun options. I've looked through all the pictures in the Finnish military's wartime photograph archive with the keyword T-28, and I can't find a single one with that kind of gun. They all have the longer one. So that's how I assembled mine. Like the Shermans, this is also a resin and metal model, but it's very good quality and I enjoyed assembling it.

Finally, one last Zvezda model: an ISU-152.

During the Continuation War, the Finnish army managed to capture two ISU-152 assault guns. One was refurbished into a recovery vehicle; the other was fixed up, repainted - and lost in combat almost immediately afterward. However, for a very short span of time during the war, an ISU-152 in Finnish colors existed, and so I've painted one.

**

While I was at it, I also ordered the Hammerfall starter set for Team Yankee, which they're now calling World War III. I had a look at the previous edition rules earlier, and was disappointed by how badly they modeled the Soviets, but Oil War held out the promise of doing something completely different, so I thought I'd have another look.

I'm somewhat entertained by the fact that Hammerfall is basically identical to the Flames of War starter set: three Soviet tanks and two tanks from the other side, the same cardboard terrain, the same scenarios. I mean I sort of get it, but then I also feel like someone could have made a bit more of an effort? I was going to come up with a different scenario for us to play, but then I never got the central scenery piece I ordered, so...

The models, though, are superb. Battlefront's resin and metal stuff is good, but their hard plastics are excellent. Especially the two M1 Abramses were a joy to build, and gave me serious M1 Tank Platoon flashbacks.

I ended up going with Refractive Green for their base color, as I wanted them to look quite drab.

The T-64s were also fun to build, although to be honest, I never did quite figure out where the snorkel attaches to exactly. 

**

That's the starter set; what I was really interested in, though, was collecting an Iranian army. Here's some Chieftain tanks:

And some BMPs.

By the way, I absolutely call bullshit on the M113 having a higher front armor value than the BMP. The BMP had steeply sloped steel armor; the M113 is a tall aluminium box. Giving an APC from the 1950s a higher armor value makes a mockery of the whole concept of the infantry fighting vehicle. What turned me off Team Yankee initially was how the force structures and scenarios in the original book just made no sense from a Soviet point of view. Of course you can argue that a wargame based on an American novel about Americans was always going to do this, especially in conjunction with the deep brain rot that set in a lot of military minds about Soviet hardware after the Gulf War. But still, an M113 being more heavily armoured and no easier to hit than a BMP is beyond absurd.

Here's my first platoon with their BMPs: that's 4 rifle teams, 3 RPG teams and an M47 Dragon team.

Because Battlefront wouldn't sell me any US infantry, these guys were the only 15mm infantry I painted, but I enjoyed it. The weapons are Gunmetal Grey and Black, except for the RPGs in Soviet Uniform and the M47 in US Olive Drab; the uniforms are US Dark Green, and the webbing and suchlike is Khaki. I'm quite happy with the result!

I also painted some M109 SP guns in Iranian colors.

**

So that's my 15mm collection; apparently it won't be getting any bigger! My search for a smaller-scale wargame to collect continues.

Here I Stand by email: Turn 3 (1528-1531) - The Congress of Ravenna

It's been quite a while since the previous post in this series, but here's what happened on the third turn of our game of Here I Stand by email!

**

Cards removed from the game:

Luther's 95 Theses
Peasants' War
Barbary Pirates
Defender of the Faith
Clemens VII

Explorers removed: Narváez (-1)

Diplomatic situation:

The Hapsburgs are at war with England, France and the Ottomans
France is allied with Scotland
The Hapsburgs are allied with Hungary-Bohemia

Victory points at the end of Turn 2:

Protestants 6
France 8
England 11
Hapsburgs 14
Papacy 16
Ottomans 19

Protestant spaces: 20 (VPs 6 - 9)
Electorates: Catholic 1 (Cologne), Protestant 5

**

The turn starts with the card draw phase. This time, we have no reformers to add to the map and only one debater, the Protestant Heinrich Bullinger, but for the first time in this game, we're adding new cards to the deck. If you've read my reports on the previous turns, you'll have noticed that some cards leave the deck when they're played as events. Other cards are added to the deck, either on preordained turns or depending on how Henry VIII is doing on the marriage front. On this turn, we're adding the ten new cards that enter play on Turn 3. Then we shuffle the discards into the deck, and we're ready to go.

Rolling for New World riches tells us that the Hapsburgs are getting an extra card from their Inca conquests again. So here's how many cards everyone is starting their turn with:

Ottomans: dealt 5, kept 1, hand total 7
Hapsburgs: 7,1,9
England: 4,0,5
France: 3,1,5
Papacy: 3,0,5
Protestants: 4,1,6

**

As we moved on to the diplomacy phase, the Hapsburg player unfortunately had to drop out of the game, but luckily we found someone to replace them. The King of Spain is dead, long live the King of Spain! This obviously created some delay while we got the new player read in, compounded by the fact that we wanted him to get the opportunity to see the game board and everything for himself; that was delayed by both of us having to get tested for the coronavirus in consecutive weeks, meaning we had to quarantine until we got the results. We both tested negative, but this took several weeks.

Eventually we got the diplomacy phase restarted with our new Hapsburg player on board. The Pope took the initiative, proposing a peace conference in Ravenna to resolve the massive Hapsburg war. The previous Hapsburg player had, in fact, refused to attend, but after his abdication and replacement, Charles V the Later chose differently. After some deliberation, the Congress of Ravenna produced the following agreement, henceforth known as the Concordat of Ravenna:

- the Ottomans make peace with the Hapsburgs
- the Ottomans return Vienna to the Hapsburgs
- the Hapsburgs make peace with the Ottomans and the English
- the Hapsburgs return Paris, St. Dizier, Dijon and Avignon to the French
- England makes peace with the Hapsburgs
- England returns Corunna to the Hapsburgs

The Concordat is put forward as a group of agreements that need to be ratified together, as per section 9.1 of the rules: it will only come into force if all parties announce all the deals. After the negotiation phase, it was duly announced and came into force; France and the Ottomans also announced an alliance, and the Protestants gave France one random card draw. The Hapsburg army in Paris displaced to Vienna, my troops in Vienna went to Buda, and the English fleet in Corunna sailed to Plymouth. France then sued for peace with the Hapsburgs, giving them two war winner VPs, returning Brussels and restoring Lyon to the French.

The diplomacy phase ended with no further action; this is the current victory point situation.

Protestants 6
England 11
France 12
Hapsburgs 15
Papacy 16
Ottomans 17

**

The Ottomans and Hapsburgs decline to spring deploy; England sends Brandon and some troops to Edinburgh, while France deploys a mercenary to Lyon, and the Papacy sends one to Siena. And with that, it's time for the Action Phase!

I start with Spring Preparations, played for command points. The Ottomans build two corsair fleets at Scutari, and then use the last command point as a naval move: the Scutari corsairs move to the Adriatic, one fleet from Coron to the Ionian and one to the Aegean, and the Algiers corsairs to the Barbary Coast.

On the Hapsburg impulse, we received white smoke: Pope Clement VII was dead, long live Pope Paul III.

The Hapsburgs use the two command points to clear out unrest in Graz and Linz. England plays Ransom for command points, sending an explorer to the New World and recruiting a mercenary in London. The French play Printing Press, also sending an explorer and marching King Francis I from Rouen via Paris to besiege Metz. The Papacy gets things started with Leipzig Debate, choosing to exclude Luther. Aleander faces Zwingli and defeats him squarely, returning Worms, Strasbourg and, inevitably, Leipzig, to the Catholic faith. Luther retaliates by using Here I Stand to fetch and play Printing Press from the discards; the Protestants go three for three on the Reformation attempts, converting Cologne, Worms and, yes, Leipzig to Protestantism. By my count, Leipzig has now switched religious allegiance five times.

For my part, I'm playing Knights of St. John for command points, which I am using to transport Suleiman and four regulars to Rhodes. Here's a funny thing: I can't find rules for what the Knights of St. John do if you enter their space anywhere in the rulebook. I assume they behave like independent troops defending an independent key, but Rhodes isn't a key, it's a fortress. Everyone seems to play it that way and it makes sense, but unless I've missed something, the rules are actually completely silent on this. So I assume that when my troops enter Rhodes, the Knights retreat into their fortress and I am now besieging it.

The Hapsburgs then deploy Erasmus for some counter-reformation efforts.

The Papacy succesfully returned Worms, Basel and, of course, Leipzig to Catholicism, only striking out in Nürnberg; Protestant spaces now stand at 17. England uses John Zapolya to build a fleet at Bristol and recruit a mercenary in London. Then, for the first time in the game, the French get to play their home card, Patron of the Arts, as an event!

The dice roll is a 3: looking at the Châteaux Table on the French home card and adding +2 because the French control Milan, we find that this results in the French gaining their first Château VP and drawing a card. The Papacy then plays Janissaries Rebel for command points, which they use to build St. Peter's. The Protestants call the Marburg Colloquy, committing Luther and Oekolampadius for a total of six reformation attempts. They strike out at Bremen, but convert Leipzig (flipping it for the 7th time), Worms, Münster, Regensburg, and as a bit of a surprise, Norwich! The reformation has officially reached England.

On my impulse, I play Zwingli Dons Armor for three command points. I undertake some piracy against the Papacy in the Adriatic and manage to score a hit, netting my second piracy VP of the game, but our assault on Rhodes fails and I lose a regular. Here's what the map looks like after the Ottoman impulse:

The Hapsburgs play Shipbuilding, placing naval squadrons in Barcelona and Naples; the English play their home card, Six Wives of Henry VIII, to advance Henry's Marital Status to the Ask for Divorce stage. France uses Field Artillery for command points to storm Metz, reinforcing their assault force and placing one new mercenary in Milan with Swiss Mercenaries. The independent garrison in Metz is destroyed, and the French occupy the city, bringing them to a total of 15 victory points.

The Papacy plays Charles Bourbon for command points, investing 2 CP in St. Peter's and gaining their second St. Peter's VP, and spending 2 CP on burning books in the German language zone. Cajetan's debater bonus gives them three counter-reformation attempts, which fail in Brunswick but convert Münster and Leipzig. The Protestants retaliate with War in Persia, clearing unrest from Regensburg to make way for a theological treatise from Carlstadt, who reconverts Leipzig but strikes out in Linz and Münster, creating unrest in Linz. The last command point is invested in getting the English translation of the New Testament started.

For my part, I play Arquebusiers to mount a second assault on Rhodes: this time around, the Knights of St. John fall and we take no casualties. The Hapsburgs play Pirate Haven for command points, recruiting a regular in Amsterdam and clearing unrest in Linz again. The English recruit two mercenaries in London with Professional Rowers, and the French use Landsknechts to deploy a mercenary in Rouen and Milan. The Vatican issues a Papal Bull to build St. Peter's and start a debate in German. Tetzel faces Zwingli and debates him to a draw, leading to a second round between Contarini and Bucer, which the Catholics win by one hit, flipping Leipzig. In return, the Protestants use Surprise Attack to publish a treatise, reconverting Leipzig and converting Bremen. I play my home card and deploy three regulars to Nezh, and one to Istanbul.

Note the army markers! The Hapsburgs use Colonial Governor/Native Uprising to send an explorer to the New World; England skips their impulse, and the French ship Thomas More off to Canada to found a colony at Charlesbourg Royal. Everyone else skips, and it's a Hapsburg solo game from here on: they play Holy Roman Emperor to move Charles to Vienna, clear the unrest in Münster and launch a conquest in the New World, and Fountain of Youth to deploy a Hungarian regular in Prague. With that, the action phase ends!

**

And then it's on to the winter phase. I'm returning my fleets to Coron and my corsairs to Algiers and Scutari; the troops in Nezh are going to Belgrade, and Suleiman is returning to Istanbul with his army. The Hapsburg regulars at Amsterdam winter in Antwerp, and Brandon returns to London with a mercenary unit. The King of France returns to Paris with three mercenaries and a regular, and recalls Montmorency from Bordeaux and a regular and two mercenaries from Marseille; the Papal mercenaries in Siena return to Rome. The only mandatory event that would happen this turn is Barbary Pirates, but I was lucky enough to be dealt it on the first turn.

Finally, we resolve the New World phase. The French Charlesbourg Royal colony marker is placed in the appropriate spot, and then we have three voyages of exploration and a Hapsburg conquest to figure out. They end up being John Rut for the English, Jean-François Roberval for the French and Juan Ponce de León for the Habsburgs. The first two return home empty-handed, while de Léon discovers the Great Lakes, earning the Habsburgs a victory point. Pizarro then conquers the Aztecs for another 2 VP, which takes the Habsburgs to 18 and a shared lead with the Ottomans!

**

This turn took a little bit longer than the previous ones: cards were dealt on the 18th of June, and then midsummer and an unexpected heatwave happened; and then there was the player change and pandemic-related testing delays. By chance, our new Habsburg player visited our apartment exactly two months after cards for the turn were dealt. Play resumed on the 23rd of August with the diplomacy phase, which wrapped up on September 3rd; the action phase started on September 13th and ran until December 15th. We wrapped up the New World phase and the turn on December 27th. So this turn took half a year! We may be here for a while.

**

Here's how things stood at the end of Turn 3.

Diplomatic situation:

France is allied with Scotland

The Hapsburgs are allied with Hungary-Bohemia

Victory points:

Protestants 6

England 11

France 15

Papacy 17

Hapsburgs 18

Ottomans 18

Protestant spaces: 22

(victory points papacy 9 - protestants 6)

Protestant English home spaces: 1 (0 VP)

Cards removed from the game:

Luther's 95 Theses

Peasants' War

Barbary Pirates

Defender of the Faith

Clement VII

Paul III

Marburg Colloquy

Explorers removed: Narváez (-1)

Let's Read Tolkien 76: The Field of Cormallen

All about the hills the hosts of Mordor raged.

We return to the Morannon, where the Eagles show up amidst the battle. With impeccable dramatic timing, at that exact moment Sauron panics and recalls the Nazgûl, and his armies falter. Moments later, the Black Gate itself collapses, and Sauron's forces break and flee. Gandalf, correctly deducing what happened, hitches a ride with the Eagles to fetch Frodo and Sam.

Meanwhile, Frodo has found his inner goth and is happily lying down and talking about dying. Sam persuades him to at least walk a little further from the literal Crack of Doom, but as the volcano erupts around them, they succumb to the fumes and pass out. The Eagles find them, of course, and then we do the scene where a hobbit wakes up in a bed and is addressed by a mysteriously reappeared Gandalf again.

Frodo and Sam meet Aragorn, and get a whole epic poem declaimed at them in front of a crowd about everything they did, which I would think would be excruciating, but Sam loves. Then there's a feast, and afterward everyone sets off for Minas Tirith.

**

So it's Eagles again, at the climax of the Lord of the Rings as they were at the Hobbit's. I don't know why Tolkien was so into eagles; maybe he was secretly a big football guy. I mean he even had Pippin lampshade it at the end of the previous book. Nonetheless, the Eagles show up again and save the day.

When Sam wakes up, Gandalf tells him that new year in Gondor will from now on be celebrated on March 25th, because that was the day Sauron fell. I'm not sure what Tolkien's exact calculation here is, but surely the idea is that this prefigures Easter: Frodo, the Christ-figure, has suffered through his Passion and defeated evil: a message reinforced by the presence of the resurrected Christ-figure Gandalf. Like I talked about earlier, this is what Tolkien does throughout: nothing is an exact match with Christian theology or events, but they echo and prefigure them, as it were (you might say analogy, even!). I'd think that if you laid the events of the Lord of the Rings next to the church year, other analogies would occur.

Other than that, though, this is a short and simple triumphal chapter. Aragorn gets to be king, Sam gets to be sung about, and the others get to eat, I guess. And that's pretty much it.

**

Next time: ceremonies.

Blood Bowl: Turboleague 2020 results

We have now conducted what technically counts as our first season under the new Turboleague rules! We've played exactly one game, a wildly entertaining 1-1 tie between my Sheogorad Saints and the RagnaRock Ravens; we might have tried for more, but alas, the pandemic measures tightened for December and this was all we could do. On the strength of that game, the Ravens win the Turboleague: tied with the Saints on points and touchdowns, the next tiebreaker is casualties, where they lead 2-0. This makes the RagnaRock Ravens our 2020 Hellbird Turbocup champions!

**

League table

RagnaRock Ravens (Norse) (0-0-1) 2 pts, 1-1, 2-0, 2, 1, 0, 0

Sheogorad Saints (Dark Elf) (0-0-1) 2 pts, 1-1, 0-2, 0, 1, 0, 0

Touchdowns:

Irileth Targaryen (Saints): 1

Leifur Eriksson (Ravens): 1

Casualties:

Freki (Ravens): 1

Thor Åkenskaldi (Ravens): 1

Fatalities:

Freki (Ravens): 1

Thor Åkenskaldi (Ravens): 1

Completions:

Endroni Dalas (Saints): 1

Harald Hårdare (Ravens): 1

**

Previous Hellbird Turbocup champions:

2012: Braga's Brutes (Orc)

Previous season final league table: [pts, goal differential, casualty differential, fatalities, completions, interceptions, sacks]

Braga's Brutes (Orc) (5-1-0) 15 pts, 14-3, 7-2, 1, 3, 0, 7-2
Tor Achare Titans (High Elf) (3-3-0) 9 pts, 5-8, 9-3, 0, 17, 1, 6-6
Blood River Buccaneers (Dark Elf) (3-3-0) 9 pts, 8-6, 5-10, 1, 10, 0, 10-5
RagnaRock Ravens (Norse) (2-3-0) 6 pts, 4-7, 6-8, 0, 3, 0, 4-3
3rd Street Mütants (Chaos) (1-1-1) 4 pts, 2-3, 3-3, 0, 0, 0, 2-6
Tlaxtlan Warriors (Lizardmen) (1-0-0) 3 pts, 1-0, 0-2, 0, 0, 3-1
Mephala's Murderers (Dark Elf) (0-3-1) 1 pts, 2-8, 1-8, 0, 8, 0, 3-3

Most touchdowns:

2012: Finrod Angamaitë (Tor Achare Titans), Grab da Bol (Braga's Brutes), Grambad (Brutes), Leifur Eriksson (RagnaRock Ravens), Slib'ry Ands (Brutes), Solana Spikeheel (Blood River Buccaneers): 3

Most casualties:

2012: Teclis Turukáno (Tor Achare Titans): 5

Most fatalities:

2012: Athlan Icecold (Blood River Buccaneers), Galhag (Braga's Brutes), Gatgor (3rd Street Mütants): 1

Most interceptions:

2012: Finrod Angamaitë (Titans): 1

Most completions:

2012: Beleg Strongarm (Titans): 6

Bowl winners:

2012 Skogen Mörke Dimmubowl: RagnaRock Ravens
2012 War Ina Babylon: Chaos (3rd Street Mütants)
2012 Antares Autobowl: Braga's Brutes

**

All-time team records, converted to current Turboleague format

Braga's Brutes (Orc) (5-1-0) 21 pts
Tor Achare Titans (High Elf) (3-3-0) 15 pts
Blood River Buccaneers (Dark Elf) (3-3-0) 15 pts
RagnaRock Ravens (Norse) (2-3-1) 13 pts
3rd Street Mütants (Chaos) (1-1-1) 7 pts

Mephala's Murderers (Dark Elf) (0-3-1) 5 pts

Tlaxtlan Warriors (Lizardmen) (1-0-0) 4 pts

Sheogorad Saints (Dark Elf) (0-0-1) 2 pts

End-of-year: 2020

It feels so weird to think that last December, when I wrote my previous year-end blog post, nobody had any notion of a pandemic, and I just complained about Warhammer. In March, the coronavirus really started to hit, and my teaching for the rest of the spring was cancelled. We eventually got the virus sort of under control, and I was able to do some teaching (with appropriate precautions), until we got into the second wave and I was back distance-teaching over Zoom again.

I did a couple of pandemic diary entries on this blag, but I couldn't be bothered to write one for September, and then decided I might as well do the November one here. There really hasn't been that much to tell, to be honest. We've mostly been keeping to ourselves; our entire social and board-gaming life is on hold, we wear our masks, and are incredulous at the constant bullshit some people keep coming up with to complain about the restrictions. We're very lucky and privileged to be able to live this normally, but I can't wait for this shit to be over.

One of the most striking things that's happened throughout has been far too many people showing their true colors, so to speak. People on the social media have just come up with the most ridiculous nonsense, from sharing whiny posts by superrich promoters angry they can't make even more money to, sadly, totally irresponsible corona trutherism. The end of the year is sort of crystallized for me in a moment from November, when cases were going up dramatically and new restrictions were coming into force. I was having two simultaneous but separate conversations on a messaging app. One was with a person who was very irate that bars were being closed and gigs were being cancelled. The other was with a friend who hadn't been able to spend time with their dying father because of the pandemic. He sadly passed away while the visiting restrictions at the hospital were necessarily draconian, so his family could only be there for brief moments.

I really cannot bring myself to shed any tears for the nightclub owners. You read some of the stuff our event industry puts out, you'd think that the pandemic was something the government invented to make their lives miserable. The selfishness is astounding.

But even more than that, it has at times been unfortunately enlightening to see who can deal like an adult with having to tenporarily restrict your behavior to protect other people. Like I've said before, we are a nation with a permanent hardon for "exceptional circumstances": our nationalism is thoroughly militaristic and dominated by fantasies of past and future wars. And then when people brought up in this culture suffused with imagining collective hardship actually encounter a real-life situation that calls for the virtues that we, as a people, supposedly cultivate, they panic-buy all the toilet paper and peanut butter, and throw a tantrum when someone asks them to wear a simple facemask.

Turns out a pandemic is a hell of a mirror.

**

On to more frivolous things. I already complained about Warhammer last year, but it's only gotten worse since. I talked about Chaos Marines then, but I think it's the loyalists who really underline how absurd 40k is right now.

The first Space Marine codex for 8th edition came out in July 2017. Fairly shortly, they came out with codexes for the Blood Angels, Dark Angels, Space Wolves and so on as well, which referred back to the vanilla Marine codex. The campaign book Vigilus Defiant came out at the end of 2018, and it had specialist detachment and other rules for Marines. At least some of these rules were then incorporated in the second eighth edition Marine codex, which came out in August 2019. It was shortly followed by the Psychic Awakening book Faith and Fury, which revamped rules for Marine Chaplains and came with a bunch of other stuff as well, and the previous single Chapter codexes were replaced with a line of Codex supplements. Until, of course, 9th edition came along, and the very first codex to be announced was Codex: Space Marines, coming out in 2020.

So from 2017 to 2020, i.e. four years, there have been three Space Marine codexes, two sets of supplementary codexes, and two campaign books with Space Marine rules. This is completely ridiculous. I'm a collector more than a player anyway; the only reason I'm really interested in the rules is because I like the units I build to make at least a little bit of sense. But frankly, at this point the investment required to keep up with the constantly changing rules is way too big. So I'm sticking with eighth edition for the time being.

**

Obviously the pandemic put a stop to all our boardgaming activities; when the best way to catch the virus is in confined spaces with lots of talking, gaming is definitely out. So instead we've been playing Here I Stand by email; we started in March, and the game is currently in its third turn (!). Frankly, at this point we can hope that the pandemic will end before the game does, and we can finish it live! However, with next to no social contacts in real life, the email game has been a blessing, and I think I like play-by-email enough to want to do more of it. I'm very grateful to everyone who's participated.

I also managed to play a game of Blood Bowl, and with our Turboleague rules, that's enough for a season! So for the first time since 2012, we have a Turboleague champion. I'm hoping I can keep playing at least one game of Blood Bowl every year - and maybe even win the league one of these days!

**

Finally in hobby matters, I want to return to the sort-of New Year's resolution I made last year, to finish modelling projects before starting new ones. I feel like it's been working for me. Hell, I even managed to finish the project that got this whole Warhammer-and-whatnot spree started in the first place. I also made some Renegades and Heretics infantry and tanks, a whole detachment of Adeptus Custodes, and decided to not collect a Sisters of Battle army. It's felt really good. I've still got quite a few unfinished projects lying around, and in pursuit of this notion of finishing things, I've decided to make an additional resolution: in 2021, I'm not buying any new models unless they're part of a project that I already started. So I'm going to stay on the lookout for new figures for my Blood Bowl stands, for instance, but I'm really going to focus on getting stuff done.

Since my several jobs are all academic and mostly social, I've been very grateful to have a hobby where I can work with my hands. It' very therapeutical to concentrate on building or painting something physical and tactile. Next year, I hope to get started on building a proper-sized game board and terrain, just in case we ever actually get to play something again.

I'm also very pleased to say that we managed all of a single session of Cyberpunk 2020 this year! Our Rogue Trader campaign is still ongoing, but because it was 2020 we thought we'd roll up a couple of characters just for the fun of it. We played one ex tempore session before the pandemic. I really can't wait for things to get back to something lile normal again.

**

So that was the hobby and pandemic year of 2020. In personal terms, it's now been two years since I quit my PhD. I'm still angry and bitter about the conditions that led to my decision, but I couldn't be happier that I made it. Sure, any kind of financial security or even quasi-semi-permanent employment is nowhere to be found, but at least I now have several years of actual teaching experience that I've gotten paid for, and quite frankly, based on the feedback I've gotten, I'm good at it. This coming spring, I'll be teaching high school history to people applying to study business, and lecturing on the history of heavy metal and the environment - in separate courses! Conditions permitting, I'll probably be giving my first lecture on Tolkien and theology next fall, but it isn't official yet.

To give you an idea of what it's like to be a teacher in Finland, this past year I've worked for seven different employers, and I'm not really making anything like enough money to actually support myself. All that talk about how teachers are supposedly valued and well-paid in this country is, frankly, complete bullshit.

However, this is the trade I have, and I'm going to see if I can make something of it. It's not like switching careers to IT seems to be possible. It's worth reminding myself that when I started this blag in 2007, an unimaginable thirteen years ago, I had no job, no degrees and no notion of any kind of future for myself. Now, several shall we say interesting years and a prison sentence later, I have a university degree, several peer-reviewed papers to my name, a professional certification, and I'm good at my job. Back in 2007, any one of these things would have seemed unimaginable. Life in 2020 is so strange and precarious that it's easy to feel like nothing matters, so I think it's worthwhile to remind oneself that we've come a ways.

On that note, I'd like to wish the three people who read my blog a very happy holiday season, and an excellent new year. I hope we all stay healthy and take a few steps forward next year as well.

Warhammer 40,000: Heretic tankery

Earlier, I built a Renegades and Heretics vanguard detachment to give my Chaos army some anti-tank and sniper options. Another time-honored way of fighting tanks is with other tanks. This didn't use to be what tanks were for, and it still represents a misuse of armor today, but in Warhammer 40,000 it makes a lot of sense. Renegades and Heretics get to pick from a delightfully long list of Imperial vehicles, from Basilisks to Macharius super-heavies. I could have Leman Russes, but I kinda want to do something more exotic. As it happens, I've been building some 28mm Warlord Games World War II tanks, mostly for fun but also with a view to possibly using them in 40k. I've been making German tanks for the Imperial army, so Soviet ones seem appropriate for Chaos! I've also been daydreaming about Warlord's KV Platoon box for a while now, so maybe...

While I was finishing up these models, GW dumped the entire army in Legends! That kinda seals the deal for me: I'm sticking with 8th.

**

If we're going to be using tanks like the Panzer IV as Leman Russes, the KVs need to be something bigger. So they'd be perfect as Malcador heavy tanks, presumably named after Malcador the Sigillite and therefore very theological, which I like. The KV-1 seems like it would work quite nicely as a basic Malcador.

To stay with the anti-tank theme, I wanted my Kirov pattern Malcador to have a hull-mounted lascannon instead of the heavy bolter. However, that brings up the scale problem. While GW minis are theoretically 28mm scale, they're actually a lot bulkier (hence "heroic" 28mm), and especially the weapons and vehicles feel like they're a lot bigger. Even though the KVs were massive tanks, a GW lascannon on one would look absolutely ludicrous. So I decided to use Anvil's portable phase cannon as a lascannon substitute, and simply cut a firing port for it in the front armor. I think it worked out quite nicely!

Here's the finished article in orange! By the way, I found the Imperial Guard camo schemes that inspired these orange vehicles in White Dwarf 143, and I can now confirm that Fiery Orange is an official Imperial camouflage color straight out of the Codex Astartes.

So the basic Malcador is really just a bigger Leman Russ. Sadly, Renegades and Heretics don't get the dedicated anti-tank variant, but they do get the Malcador Defender. And that's really something. The Defender comes with a demolisher cannon and seven (yes, seven: 7) heavy bolters, and a +1 to hit when firing Overwatch. With 21 heavy bolter shots and the demolisher, I simply cannot imagine who would ever charge this vehicle. It's so completely mad that I have to have one. Even if I swap the two sponson heavy bolters for lascannons, this thing still has a monstrous five heavy bolters. So far, my experiences with eighth edition 40k have lead me to believe that more is definitely more. So I am very proud to present a Warlord Games KV-2 in its new life as a Renegades and Heretics Kirov pattern Malcador Defender.

I may have been reading Tank Girl at the time.

Still, though, this is the best vehicle model I've ever built. The turret has two heavy bolters left over from an old-style Immolator on the sides, and a turret ring and mount for two Anvil phase cannons that I built from copper wire and green stuff.

The various spikes and chains are from the Chaos vehicle upgrade sprue that was left over from the Hellforged Predator I built earlier. The crew and enthusiastic hangers-on are Daemonettes and a Seeker from the Wrath and Rapture box, variously outfitted with Victoria Miniatures arms, and a Bren and Kalashnikov from the same company.

**

Frankly, I'm so proud of my Malcador Defender that I'm going to have to field it at least once. My original idea was to add the two KVs to my vanguard detachment, but then Scythe happened. For those who aren't familiar with it, Scythe is a fun board game set in an alternate history 1920s Central Europe with mechs in it. I had a great time painting the mech miniatures, and it left me wanting to build mechs in 28mm scale. So I ordered a Soviet Mastadon heavy walker (sp) from Warlord Games' Konflikt '47 range, and I love it.

It's a beautiful model! I strongly recommend getting one, and I am absolutely buying more of their walkers. I was thinking about fielding this as a Malcador as well, but it's a bit of a stretch to say that the KV-1 main gun and this monster are the same weapon. Since I think I'm going to want to field some Warlord walkers as Leman Russes on the Imperial side, I'm calling this a Kirov Leman Russ Vanquisher.

I'm also somewhat happy with how my Daedric turned out here.

So with three Heavy Support choices, all I need is an HQ to make a spearhead detachment. The cheap option would be another Renegade Commander, but I think we can do better. Now, we've already used Imperial Assault figures on both the Chaos and Imperial sides, and it just so happens I've got a Diala Passil model. I have no idea who she is, except that she's a Twi'lek Jedi; now she's a Renegades and Heretics Malefic Lord.

**

If I was being sensible, I'd be done here. But I like painting vehicles, and I like painting orange; so I got a SU-76M from Warlord Games as well. The crew are one of the original Warlord models with a Statuesque Miniatures head, and a female loader from Brother Vinni.

I tried to make the fighting compartment look suitably grimy before gluing the crew in.

And here's my first Chaos Basilisk, Kirov pattern of course.

**

This all adds up to a 868-point spearhead detachment:

Renegades and Heretics spearhead detachment (1 CP) - 866 points

HQ - Malefic Lord - 80 points

Heavy Support - Malcador Heavy Tank - 190 pts
+ battle cannon (22), lascannon (20), 2 × heavy stubber (4) = 236 points [316]

Heavy Support - Malcador Defender - 200 pts
+ demolisher cannon (20), 5 × heavy bolter (40), 2 × lascannon (30), heavy stubber (2), hunter-killer missile (6) = 298 points [614]

Heavy Support - Leman Russ Battle Tank - 107 pts
+ vanquisher battle cannon (15), lascannon (20), heavy stubber (2) = 144 points [758]

Heavy Support - Basilisk - 100 pts
+ Earthshaker cannon (0), heavy bolter (8) = 108 points [866]

**

I seem to have accidentally built a Renegades and Heretics army - just when GW decided to scrap it. I have no idea how they'd do on the battlefield, but I've had a great time building the models and painting them, and that's what I'm doing this for. I wish GW would do renegade Imperial Guard properly for once.

I highly recommend Warlord Games vehicles! They're excellent quality, fun to assemble and especially the hard plastic ones are top-notch.