Feb 22, 2012

HKIRBBTL: Murderers-Brutes 0-3

For their second game in the Helsinki-Kotka Interregional Turboleague, Mephala's Murderers traveled to meet the undefeated Braga's Brutes on their home field. Not surprisingly, most of the 19,000 fans in attendance were Brutes supporters. The circumstances were perfect for a bout of mayhem on the gridiron, as the weather remained perfect through the match. To gain an edge against the more experienced Brutes, the Murderers had secured the services of a wandering apotechary. Bloodweiser also sent the Murderers a free keg of their virile brew and a lovely wench to serve it to the players, continuing the endorsement deal worked out for the Murderers' previous game. Missing from the Murderers lineup was Balyn Omavel, nursing ribs broken in the game against the Buccaneers, his spot temporarily occupied by a journeyman lineman.

The Murderers won the coin toss and set up to kick.

Neither team got off to a very good start: the orcs looked predictably confused and the elves uncharacteristically rusty. Braga succeeded better than Eno Hlaalu in getting his bumbling players to some order, owning perhaps to his intimidating presence on the field. Brutes thrower Grab da Bol scored a touchdown halfway through the first half, the Murderers having failed to stop him.

The Murderers still didn't have their game together when it came time for them to receive. They started the drive with a touchback, a sudden gust of wind having thrown the Brutes kick out of bounds, but, already shorthanded, failed to protect the ball carrier. Understandably worried as Azgrum the black orc bore down on him, Giron Manas attempted a dump off before being blitzed, but failed his throw, which unluckily landed right at the feet of orc thrower Slib'ry Ands.

Manas attempted to rectify the mistake himself. Dodging around Grambad and going for it as fast as he could, he caught up to Slib'ry Ands, but the orc easily blocked his blitz and scored a touchdown to make it 0-2.

The Murderers still had time for one quick attempt. The Murderers' fans did their best to cheer their team on, actually managing to make as much noise as the much more numerous Brutes fans. Coach Hlaalu drew up a plan for a quick goal, but Shishi Yanumibaal failed to break through the Brutes line. The Murderers ran down the clock practicing passing.

The second half looked promising for the Murderers as the three players knocked senseless in the first half returned on the field. Braga used the half-time to bash some sense into his men and, indeed, the Brutes lineup looked slightly more professional when the second half started.

In the second half the Murderers finally stared executing their coach's game plan. Nina blitzed through the Brutes line, but failed to get any support.

Feeling pressure from the surging orcs, Manas passed the ball to Nina, who made the catch and sprinted for the end zone, hoping to outrun the orcs hot on her heels.

She did not.

The rest of the horde soon arrived, and in no time at all the Brutes had gained control of the ball.

Abassel Asserbassalit proved unequal to the task of stopping Grambad.

With four players watching from the sidelines and two more stunned on the astrogranite, the Murderers were out of the game. There was no-one left to stop the Brutes from scoring their third touchdown.

Just before the final horn, Grambad did the honors.

Final score: Braga's Brutes 3, Mephala's Murderers 0. After four games the Brutes have still not been scored on.

MVP selections for the game:
Braga's Brutes #8 Galoth (KO, active in key situations)
Mephala's Murderers #11 Vatollia Apo (more for grit than accomplishments, misses the next game with pinched nerve)

Braga's post match comment:
Braga bursts into the press room splinters flying through the air, breaking a silhouette of himself on the massive iron bound double doors; "Dit anyone see where dat scrawny newbie elf took off?!? Da one dat took a swing at me bollocks in da second 'aaf! I iz just want to talk to 'im, I iz promise not to bash hiz 'ed in or anyfing!"

Hlaalu's post match comment unavailable, reporter found stabbed.

Game summary from the Brutes officials:

Weather: Nice
Fans: 19,000 (BRU=13,000 & MUR=6,000)
Inducements: MUR = Bloodweiser Babes(50k) Wandering Apothecary(100k)
Player improvements before game: BRU = #5 Sorgask (blitzer)-GUARD #6 Urghuk (blitzer)-GUARD #10 Slib'ry Ands(thrower)-BLOCK

1st HALF (MUR wins coin toss, BRU receiving)

KICKOFF = Changing Weather -> Nice -> Nice
T1. BRU #11 uses reroll on block against MUR #12 (both down+skull / push+push), BRU #9 picks up ball
T2. BRU #5 KOs MUR #11, BRU #8 uses reroll when blitzing MUR #2 (skull+skull / push+?), BRU #1 Braga blocks MUR #? (skull+skull)...Braga's infamous start to a game continues -> TURNOVER
T2. MUR #17(journeyman) uses reroll to block BRU #4 (both down+both down / skull+push...we forgot to apply the Loner skill for the reroll)
T3. BRU #6 KOs MUR #15, BRU #8 fails to dodge out of MUR #13 TZ -> TURNOVER
T3. MUR #16 fails to dodge using a reroll out of BRU #11 TZ (throwing double ones) -> TURNOVER
T4. BRU #9 GFI and it's a TD!
KICKOFF = Changing Weather -> Nice -> Nice (ball lands off field and is given to MUR #16)
T4. MUR #16 passes to #5...it's a catch!
T5. BRU #7 uses reroll to block MUR #12 -> KO
T5. MUR #14 fails to dodge from BRU #9 TZ -> TURNOVER
T6. BRU #4 blitzes MUR ball carrier #5 who uses Dump Off to MUR #7 -> inaccurate pass and ball scatters near BRU #10 who then picks up ball and moves to far corner of pitch
T6. MUR #5 first successfully dodges twice and is able to GFI twice to blitz BRU ball carrier #10 with only one die...both down (the thrower's new block skill came in quite handy) -> TURNOVER
T7. BRU #10 scores a TD!
KICKOFF = Cheering Fans (tie = both teams get 1 reroll)
T7. MUR #7 uses reroll when blitzing BRU #9 (both down / skull) -> TURNOVER
T8. MUR #15 passes to #5...it's a catch!

2nd HALF (MUR receiving)

KICKOFF = Brilliant Coaching (BRU +1 reroll)
T1. MUR #15 passes to #5...it's a catch...again! (showcasing some delvish skills), MUR #2 blitzes BRU #9 with one die and dodges three times successfully into a receiving position behind enemy lines
T1. BRU #6 uses extra reroll to block MUR #13(Brilliant coaching=Braga shouting commands to hold the line of scrimmage or there'll be orc-meat in the stew post match), BRU #5 blocks MUR #11 (SI = pinched nerve / MNG...poor orc blitzer thought it was him who Braga was shouting at, oh well)
T2. MUR #5 long passes to #2...it's a catch! (BRU #4 fails interception by throwing a 5 when a 6 was needed. Practice makes perfect, last time it was against the Titans when #1 Braga threw a 6 but was robbed of the great feat due to sidewinder of a 'safe throw'...watch out for those black orc iterceptors!)
T2. BRU #4 GFI to blitz/sack MUR #2 and ball scatters, BRU #7 picks up ball, BRU leader #1 Braga shocks the crowd (again!!!) when miserably fails to block MUR journeyman #17 by throwing two skulls(#17 throws snake eyes for armor penetration..."dank da gods I wore me nutcup today! Dat prancing elf took a blow at me privates!") -> TURNOVER
T3. BRU #8 KOs MUR #12, BRU #9 uses reroll to block MUR #17 ("Oi, new guy! Don't mess wif our boss!" The orc thrower tries to kick the elf between the legs but only manages to graze the buttocks), BRU #10 fails to dodge from MUR #15 TZ -> TURNOVER
T5. MUR #7 uses reroll to GFI
T5. BRU #2 GFI twice to assist BRU #7 (ball carrier) who also has to GFI twice to blitz MUR #14 (crazy luck!)...BRU blitzer manages only to knock down MUR player (fearing a one die blitz coming next MUR turn)
T6. MUR stands up and moves #14 to assist the blitz on the BRU #7(ball carrier)...MUR #7 fails to dodge in and around the orc wall that Braga had ordered to be put up (even with the dodge skill, 4+ dodge failed)
T6. BRU #2 blitzes MUR #14 in an attempt to earn a new level...it pays off (SI = BH), BRU #11 KOs MUR #1
T7. MUR #15 fails to dodge in BRU #1 TZ (Braga screams foul smelling breath over the unlucky elf)
T8. BRU #7 without a care in the world and escorted by two of the remaining orcs from the defensive wall, walks over the TD line...GAME OVER!

Level advancements:
MUR (1) = #11 (NS/+1AG...overkill on the AG5?)
BRU(4) = #2 (NS...B-L-O-C-K-!), #7 (forgot to throw it, guard probably), #8 (NS..."the four guardsmen" has a nice ring to it), #9 (NS/+1AG...sweeeeet!)

Braga's Brutes

#01 Braga da 'Ed Bash'a (black orc)
#02 Morgur (black orc) [casualty]
#03 Roflog (black orc)
#04 Azgrum (black orc) [sack]
#05 Sorgask (blitzer) [casualty]
#06 Urghuk (blitzer)
#07 Grambad (blitzer) [touchdown]
#08 Galoth (blitzer) [MVP]
#09 Grab da Bol (thrower) [touchdown]
#10 Slib'ry Ands (thrower) [touchdown]
#11 Galhag (lineman)

Mephala's Murderers

#01 Dranas Dradas, blitzer
#02 Nina, blitzer
#05 Giron Manas, runner [completion]
#07 Shishi Yanumibaal, witch elf
#11 Vatollia Apo, lineman [SI, MVP]
#12 Assaba-Bentus, lineman
#13 Tussurradad, lineman
#14 Abassel Asserbassalit, lineman [BH]
#15 Nilos Talds, lineman [completion]
#16 Savure Uvalor, lineman [completion]
#17 journeyman


League table: [pts, goal differential, casualty differential, fatalities, completions, sacks]

Brutes (4-0-0) 12 pts, 10-0, 6-2, 1, 1, 2-2
Titans (1-1-0) 3 pts, 2-3, 5-1, 0, 7, 1-3
Buccaneers (1-2-0) 3 pts, 3-3, 2-5, 0, 6, 4-2
Ravens (0-1-0) 0 pts, 0-4, 0-2, 0, 0, 0-0
Murderers (0-2-0) 0 pts, 0-5, 0-5, 0, 5, 2-2
Mütants (0-0-0)
Warriors (0-0-0)


Individual statistics:


Finrod Angamaitë (Titans): 2
Grab da Bol (Brutes): 2
Grambad (Brutes): 2
Slib'ry Ands (Brutes): 2
Sorgask (Brutes): 2
Galfir (Buccaneers): 1
Galhag (Brutes): 1
Galoth (Brutes): 1
Mordak Blackheart (Buccaneers): 1
Tyrim (Buccaneers): 1


Teclis Turukáno (Titans): 3
Braga da 'Ed Bash'a (Brutes): 1
Dark Elf journeyman (Buccaneers): 1
Finrod Angamaitë (Titans): 1
Galhag (Brutes): 1
Galoth (Brutes): 1
Gladroon (Titans journeyman): 1
Morgur (Brutes): 1
Nasty Narsil (Buccaneers): 1
Sorgask (Brutes): 1
Urghuk (Brutes): 1


Galhag (Brutes): 1


Beleg Strongarm (Titans): 3
Carecalmo (Titans): 3
Avil Darksoul (Buccaneers): 2
Clarius Vile (Buccaneers): 2
Athlan Icecold (Buccaneers): 1
Giron Manas (Murderers): 1
Meryaren (Titans): 1
Mordak Blackheart (Buccaneers): 1
Nilos Talds (Murderers): 1
Savure Uvalor (Murderers): 1
Shishi Yanumibaal (Murderers): 1
Slib'ry Ands (Brutes): 1
Tussurradad (Murderers): 1


Mordak Blackheart (Buccaneers): 2
Tyrim (Buccaneers): 2
Azgrum (Brutes): 1
Finrod Angamaitë (Titans): 1
Shishi Yanumibaal (Murderers): 1
Sorgask (Brutes): 1
Tussurradad (Murderers): 1

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